Ghost of the Rose
by TheRoseintheStorm
Summary: 5-7 seasons addition,very close to canon. No characters bashing,Doctor is still married to River,Ponds and Clara are around. Reunion in the very end, sort of.Hard to explain in summs, I suck at it. Check for details inside. Doctor/Rose.
1. Amy's Choice

I've started to write fics about Rose Tyler/Bad Wolf in 5-7 series, but I've decided that it could be one grand story, so here we are. I try really hard to stick to the original story, so Rose will appear only in places I felt she could be. I have to say that I loved Eleventh Doctor era, I loved the Ponds, I liked River (a bit problem with Clara, but it doesn't matter). But I've always regretted that the Doctor didn't talk about Rose, where it would suit perfectly. I know why Moffat did this and he was right to do so but as a fan I am entitled to write whatever the hell I want ^_^

I am a fan of RTD's era and 10th is MY Doctor, but I think that in 1-4 seasons the relationship between Doctor and Rose was perfectly handled and I don't feel like adding there anythying. 5-7 seasons are...different.

I like River but I never felt that the Doctor was in love with her, but it doesn't mean that she wasn't his friend or he didn't respect her. So no bashing. But still Doctor/Rose very heavily. For more details read the story itself 3

I do not own Doctor Who, if I did, I would make Rose travelling with the Doctor until his death. Everything belongs to the BBC including some names of the chapter, except for my original work.

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Here they were again, in this God forgotten village, surrounded by unknown people and this Dreamlord who I think I know who is following us, and I don't feel like playing anymore, I just want Amy and Rory to get out of here safely. I think this time our adventures gone too far. Plus the fact, that they might understand that I am not that good for them, I mean Amy would understand, Rory figured it out the moment we met.

- They're just old people. - the very round Amelia Pond said

- No, they're very old people. Sorry, Rory, I don't think you're what's been keeping them alive.

- Hello, peasants. - I heard this nagging voice of a Dreamlord again.- What's this, attack of the old people? Oh, that's ridiculous. This has got to be the dream, hasn't it? What do you think, Amy? Let's all jump under a bus and wake up in the TARDIS. You first.

- Leave her alone. - not Amy, don't you dare threaten Amy, especially if you are...

- Do that again. I love it when he does that. Tall dark hero. Leave her alone.

- Just leave her. - Rory decided to step in.

-Yes, you're not quite so impressive, but I know where your heart lies, don't I, Amy Pond?

Slowly, the Dreamlord approached Amy, almost touching her.

-Shut up. Just shut up and leave me alone.

-But listen. - he continued torturing her, - You're in there. Loves a redhead, the Doctor. Has he told you about Elizabeth the First? Well, she thought she was the first. - he said with a terrible smile and then turned to me. And I just knew who he was. He was me.

-Drop it. Drop all of it. I know who you are.

- Course you don't.

-Course I do. - I laughed bitterly, - No idea how you can be here, but there's only one person in the universe who hates me as much as you do.

And that was the truth. Not one being, not one Dalek will ever hate me as much as I hated myself. After everything, after Gallifrey, after Sarah Jane, Adric and Peri, after me being so cruel to Martha after Donna's memory loss, after Rose...

- Oh, good thing you've mentioned her. - the Dreamlord said suddenly

And now was the moment when I was really scared, what if he read my mind, what if he is going to use this painful memory against me? And of course...

- Now, as we are all here with your brand new models, we can have a bit of a flashback.

- What does he mean, Doctor? - Amy asked in a worried voice.

- DON'T - I growled

The Dreamlord clicked his fingers, the way I open the TARDIS nowadays and I saw her. She was slowly approaching us from the hill behind Amy and Rory. Just as I remember her, well, of course. After all she was his dream too. How ironic the Dreamlord, the Timelord and their timeless dream.

-Who is she? - Rory asked, while Rose impossibly slowly was moving towards us with her blonde hair and big smile and warm eyes. I had to remind myself that this was a way for torturing me, not helping. Perhaps the Dreamlord wanted to tease my companions a little.

-Oh, stupid nose, that is someone from Doctor's past, or perhaps future as well? What do you think, Doctor? - he turned to me. - If there is Heaven surely she would be your reward? Won't she ?After all you did l...

-Stop it, - I snapped. The raging anger boiled in me I was losing control - Why are you doing it? You care for her too!

- So? You broke her heart so many times, I've lost count and yet...Oh, hello, dear.

- Hello, - the sweetest voice in the universe said. - Would you be so kind to tell me why am I here? - and that was it. My heart stopped. I felt it last beat when I turned my head and saw her...

- You are not real - was all I managed to say.

- Who is she, Doctor, please tell us. - Amy asked, I looked into her green eyes which shined with trust and confusion and I understood what Dreamlord wanted to do. He wanted to ruin our friendship, he wanted to show that no matter how much I care about her, one day she'll be gone and I won't come back for her. And to do so, he used the image of the only woman I ever truly loved.

- Tell, her Doctor – the Dreamlord continued his fascinating torture. – Tell her the story of a lost girl who saved you in the ways that no one will ever be able to save you again, tell her about the beach, tell her that there was someone else. Someone who was more important than Amy.

-Stop it, that's not true. – I was terrified now, but I have to prove, that no matter how much I loved Rose, that Amy was and is my true friend, my family.

-Doctor, who is this woman? – Amy demanded now. Rose's doppelganger stood there silently and watched us with mild curiosity, her warm hazel eyes looked at me without recognition and the worst part I knew she wasn't here, that she was in another dimension, with him, my luckiest incarnation of all. My human self.

- That is one of the Doctor's previous companions, little Amelia. – he said slyly taking Rose's hand in his, just the way I used to.

- What? Doctor, what does he mean? You've travelled with someone else before us?

- Of course he had. –suddenly the image of Rose said, but I heard, that wasn't her calming voice, that was a Dreamlord talking through her. That was me and all things, all lies I've put her through. – He had dozen's of the companions before you, before me. And after you'll be gone he'll meet someone else. Someone else is going to have a crack in a wall, or will be transported to the TARDIS, or he'll abduct someone, or blew up someone's job. Isn't that right, Doctor?

I had to look into her eyes, her soft-brown shining eyes and I lost it. I knew It wasn't her, I knew that she was just a perfect image of my sick memory, I knew that I basically talked to myself (well, that wasn't so bad, I speak to myself all the time), I knew that this was a trap but I had at least talk to her for awhile. It's been so, so long since I last saw her. Yeah my Tenth self counted only the years he spend around his companions, but in reality it's been decades, maybe even centuries since I saw her last time on that beach kissing not me, but me. I can't tell precisely how long it's been. After Time Lord Victorious I didn't even care to register time. That was truly hell-like years for me. Of course I visited her just before my previous regeneration. I remember I saved that visit for the very last. But it didn't really count, did it? She didn't know me, I was a drunk stranger to her, not her Doctor.

- Yes, Rose. You are right as always, even if it's not really you.

- Not really me? – she laughed. God, how I missed that laugh. – Just because I am not in my physical body doesn't mean it's not me. You remember me, you knew me better than anyone as you said in ancient Rome. Remember, when you made a statue of me? You said I was your Fortuna.

- I remember, but still you are just an image, a way to weaken me.

- Doctor, what the hell is going on?! – Amy was really angry now

- Hash Amy, don't you see? The Doctor is talking to someone else, someone precious, far more precious than you or your fiancée.

Amy was really hurt, I could see it, I could see that her trust began to fade, Rory hugged her and whispered something I didn't catch.

- Don't listen to him Amy, I promise the moment we get out of here I'll answer all your questions.- lie again, I knew I won't answer her and the Dreamlord knew it, but at least I'll try to answer the questions about Rose, at least some of them.

- Oh yeah, right. Tell Amy about our precious Rose Tyler, the way she smiled at you, the way she saved you, - than his eyes sparkled - the way she loved you.

I knew that eventually he'll get to this point.

-Amy, listen to ,me. – I approached the scared couple and grabbed Amy's shoulders – I admit I am not always honest with you, I admit I hide things from you, but right now you have to trust me. Trust me that I want to get us out of here save and sound. Please, Pond.

Amy looked into my eyes, really looked and for the first time since our travels she really saw me. Not a handsome hero, young and mad in his magical machine. But me old, broken and alone.

-Ok, yes. – She said. – I trust you, Doctor. But don't think you'll get away from this!

-Wouldn't dream of it! – I grinned happily.

-Where is Dreamlord and the blonde girl…Rose go? – asked Rory

I turned around, no one was there, except for the group of old people approaching us.

After running and spinning we got in the TARDIS again.

-Ah, it's colder. – it really was, even for me with my Timelord temperature control. I decided to get to the point.

- The three of us have to agree, now, which is the dream.

- It's this, here. – Rory said confidently. I looked at him, poor guy he just wanted a family with the woman he loves and I ruined that. Again.

- He could be right. The science is all wrong here. Burning ice? –Amy decided to take a clever guess. But…

- No, no, no. Ice can burn. Sofas can read. It's a big universe. We have to agree which battle to lose. All of us, now.

- Okay, which world do you think is real?

- This one. – I said. And it was. For me, because I don't want them to leave and live in that peaceful village even though I know that something bad will happen eventually and they will be gone. That's me selfish, old monster who takes away people's lives.

- No, the other one. – Rory interfered.

- Yeah, but are we disagreeing or competing?

- Competing? – Amy asked. - Over what? Oh. -She realized it. That now everything depended on her, not us.

- Nine minutes till impact.

- What temperature is it?

- Outside? Brrr. How many noughts have you got? Inside? I don't know but I can't feel my feet and other parts.

- I think all my parts are basically fine.

- Stop competing.

Rory picks up the TARDIS telephone.

-Can't we call for help?- Oh this is so, so human

- Yeah, because the universe is really small and there's bound to be someone nearby. – I couldn't help but chuckle.

All of a sudden Amy came back with some sort of blankets.

- Put these on, both of you.

Amy has cut a slit in the middle of the blankets.

-Oh, a poncho. The biggest crime against fashion since lederhosen. – Of course. Rory is always happy with whatever Amy chooses.

- Here we go. My boys. My poncho boys. If we're going to die, let's die looking like a Peruvian folk band.

- We're not going to die. – Well except maybe for this one.

- No, we're not, but our time's running out. If we fall asleep here we're in trouble. If we could divide up, then we'd have an active presence in each world, but the Dream Lord is switching us between the worlds. Why? Why? what's the logic?

- Good idea, veggie. Let's divide you three up, so I can have a little chat with our lovely companion. Oh no, I've got a better idea. What if Rose will be her too? Hah? Just imagine nice little chat between Amy and Rose. Blonde and red. How hot is that? Don't you think, Timelord? Maybe I'll keep both of them, and you can have Pointy Nose to yourself for all eternity, should you manage to clamber aboard some sort of reality.

- Can you hear that? – Rory turned to Amy.

-What? No.

- Amy, don't be scared. We'll be back. And don't listen to Rose, it's not her, it's just Dreamlord's trick! – I pleaded and everything went black again.

The Doctor and Rory fall asleep.

-Rory, Doctor, don't leave me. – Damn it! I don't wanna stay here alone with a crazy guy and some ghost-chic from Doctor's past.

- Amy, the three of us going to have fun, aren't we?

- No, please, not alone.

The Dreamlord clicked his fingers and this unknown Rose appeared. I wasn't sure who I was afraid of more.

There is a thick layer of frost over everything. I feel terribly cold and alone, in the console room with this creature and a blonde girl who appeared to be the same age as I am.

-Poor Amy. He always leaves you, doesn't he, alone in the dark. Never apologizes. – the Dreamlord began.

-He doesn't have to. – and it was the truth, after knowing the Doctor after travelling with him after looking into his very soul this day I see why he keeps running away.

- That's good, because he never will. – said the blonde one. -You know Amy, we are all alike, you and me, every other companion the Doctor leaves us and moves on, never to return, he makes us believe that we are special but in reality we are just another one's in a very long line.

- And now he's left you with me. Spooky old, not to be trusted me. Anything could happen. – the creepy one continued. Something clicked and here he was in a robe, trying to seduce me. I don't whether it was pathetic or terrifying.

- Who are you, and what do you want? The Doctor knows you, but he's not telling me who you are. And he always does. Takes him a while sometimes, but he tells me. So you're something different, -I decided to step in. The best defense is the attack, right?

- Oh, is that who you think you are? The one he trusts? – the Dreamlord smiled and appeared next to Rose girl. He put his hand on her knee. Rose looked at him…almost lovingly and in this moment I had a quick thought in the back of my mind, but I couldn't put a finger on it and then he started talking again and I forgot what it was.

-Look at her, Amy. Look at this beautiful woman in my arms, at this perfect Rose, as he used to call her. – the Dreamlord kept stroking her leg, getting higher and higher until it rested on Rose's thigh. – You have no idea how many times your Doctor imagined touching her like this, how many dirty thoughts he had about her, how much he wanted her.

The Dreamlord looked at Rose's face and it was something different in his expression. It wasn't anger or disgust or triumph. It was longing and sadness, the same image the Doctor had when he was looking at this mysterious girl

-Who are you?

Dreamlord returned his attention to Amy. And stood up.

-It doesn't matter who I am Amelia Pond. What matters is this. Two worlds, two men. Now, which one of these men would you really choose? Look at them. You ran away with a handsome hero. Would you really give him up for a bumbling country doctor who thinks the only thing he needs to be interesting is a ponytail?

- Stop it.

- You already know what your choice is, don't you? I already made mine and you'll follow me, like everyone else did. – said Rose in silent voice. She approached the Dreamlord and took his hand and they both looked at each like the lost lovers finally reunited.

Dreamlord looked at Amy.

- Pick a world, and this nightmare will all be over. They'll listen to you. It's you they're waiting for. Amy's men. Amy's choice.

And with that he and Rose disappeared.

Meanwhile the Doctor was trying to ride a car. Blimey, he was clumsy in this body, how he wished for his karate skills from his Third life or iron muscles from Ninth (well, almost Ninth).The Dream Lord appeared wearing a peach racing suit and holding a full face helmet. He was grinning evilly.

- It's make your mind up time in both worlds.

-Fine. I need to find my friends. – I had to, no matter what I had to save Amy and Rory.

- Friends? Is that the right word for the people you acquire? Friends are people you stay in touch with. Your friends never see you again once they've grown up. The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not? Especially young and beautiful girls.

-Why are you here? Is this some kind of punishment game? Because if it is get away from Ponds, you and I can fight until the end of days.

- No, no, no. That's not fun at all! The best way to play was always through your companions. Even Martha and Rory-like. Remember Martha? You were so bad to her even I was surprised!

- I wasn't bad! I didn't want to! – I growled. The guilt of how I treated my doctor-friend was still there even after all those years. – I just, she was…

-She just wasn't me, was she? – I nearly crashed the car. Rose's voice was sound and clear and terrifying. I stopped the car and took a deep breath.

- Yes, Rose. She wasn't you. But then again no one is. But that doesn't matter I don't care for them and you know it.

-Cause I do Doctor,- she laughed and somehow I didn't notice when Dreamlord vanished. Rose got out of the car and approached the window next to me. She bent down and I couldn't bring myself to look away. She was so beautiful and she was here. No, stop it. It's not her. It's a parasite playing games on you.

- What do you want? – I whispered

-You, of course. As always. – she answered, so truthfully that I almost forgot it was a dream.

-You have me. – I answered. – You live with me, in another universe, happily ever after.

-Are you sure? Are you sure that I am happy there? With your mortal version knowing that you here alone, - she opened the door and took my hand. I couldn't bring myself to resist. She was looking in my eyes now, I could feel her sent, I could see every freckle on her face and I decided to give in. Just for a little while, just for this moment.

-Yes, I am sure. Because he is me and he loves you and he will do everything to make you happy, the way you made me.

She smiled gently and then, yes, she kissed me. Slowly and lovingly, just like I did all those years ago taking vortex out of her, I couldn't help but answered her. I took her face into my hands and kissed her as hard as I could. And I didn't care that she wasn't real. That it will hurt so much if I survive this. All that mattered was Rose in my arms and her lips on my lips. I could feel her body pressed against me and all the deep hidden thoughts and fantasies hit me like a ton of bricks. All I wanted to stay like this. Forever, just like we vowed.

With impossible effort I made myself stop. I dragged myself to reality where Amy and Rory were in danger, where our lives depended on minutes. I breathed hard resting my forehead on hers.

-How I wish you weren't a dream, Rose Tyler. How much I wish to stay like this forever.

-Then stay, - she answered me. Her full lips were swollen from the kiss and she was perfect. My perfect Rose.

-I can't. You are my past. As much as I want you to be here you are not. I learned to live with this fact and I won't go back. You were the best thing that happened to me. But you are gone.

-If you stay here, we can spend forever kissing and touching and making love. – I shivered at this, she continued with a smile. – We could stay here or in the TARDIS, the Dreamlord will send Amy and her fiancée back on Earth into safety. And you and I will have a second chance.

I smiled sadly. I almost wished to stay here. But I had to go. I knew from the beginning that this why my torturer was in the form of Rose. Because I always said yes to her, because it was so tempting to stay here.

-Goodbye, Rose. – I turned around and as quickly as I could walked away. With a silent click Rose vanished into thin air.

After sometime in the TARDIS.

The Dreamlord is gone, now is a hard part. I know that Pond won't just leave it, especially when she understood that the Dreamlord was me. After a few hours I heard light steps behind me. I was sitting on the couch in the library watching the water. It was calming and cleared my thoughts.

-So you and Rory are happy-weppy now? – I asked with my young and cheerful voice.

-Happy-weppy? What kind of word is that? – she asked smiling. Amy sat next to me. And I knew what was coming next.

-So, Doctor. Is there something you wanna tell me? You promised, remember.

-Amy do we really have to…

-Yes we do. You asked me to trust you and I did. Now it's your turn to tell me the truth.

I sighed. She was right. After everything I put her and Rory through at least she deserved to know the truth, part of it anyway.

-OK, Pond. What do you want to know? I assume it's not about the creepy me, is it?

-No, it's not. Although I still don't like the idea that your dark side turned up against you in such way.

-Oh, come on Pond – I laughed. – That is why it's called the "dark side". It's just a bit more powerful with me.

-Cause you are old and mysterious, yeah, yeah I get it. But you know what I want to know. Who was she? The Rose girl?

I sighed. I felt so, so old, ancient in fact and very tired.

-Well, you heard the big part. Rose used to be my companion many years ago.

-Yeah, I figured this, thanks. – said Amy impatiently. – What I meant who was she to you? The way you and him talked to her and about her, I thought, well I thought maybe you and her were…you know.

-Amy, it's complicated. – I closed my eyes, Rose's face burned in my head just like all those years ago when I lost her, I did told Martha and Donna about her, because my Tenth self promised that she won't be forgotten like Sarah Jane. But as I regenerated I decided that I am free from my promises and I still think so. But having this adventure, I guess I didn't have much of a choice. Amy waited. Not saying a word, it wasn't like her. She was passionate and curios I could feel how much she tries not to push and I decided. I opened my eyes and started to talk.

-Many years ago, when I looked different, spoke different and basically was a different person I met Rose. After some chain of events I invited her to travel with me. Well, after some time she said yes.

-After sometime?

-Yeah, Rose was very stubborn, even more stubborn than you are – I gave her a small smile, which she returned. – and it took sometime to persuade her to come. Anyway she and I started travelling. We travelled for about three years in raw. Although there was one year when I had to leave her, cause of the statue thing, but anyway it all worked out I saved her she saved me and we resumed our travels. Until one day, when she had to stay with her family. – Yeah that's one way to put it. But there is no way in the universe he'll going to tell anyone about that doomsday. About how hard it was to go on, about Donna and if it wasn't for her that he would be dead now.

-And what, she just left you? She broke her heart? – Amy couldn't believe it. There was no way this Rose, whoever she was, would leave the Doctor willingly.

- No, well yes, but it's more complicated than it sounds. She couldn't come back. Literally, she was dead for this world. – his face went blank remembering white endless wall that separated them.

-What do you mean she couldn't? You've got the TARDIS, you can go anywhere and anywhen.

-I wish I could, but no. Even I have my limits.- I said bitterly. – Anyway Rose was unreachable for me. We got in touch by accident once or twice since then but that's it.- wow, Doctor you are becoming the master of lying and omitting things. Even your Seventh self wasn't that good.

-But is she alright, though? I mean if you got in touch, whatever that means – Amy rolled her eyes, - than you know how she is.

The Doctor closed his eyes again and then looked at Amy.

-I hope she is. I did everything in my power to ensure her happiness.

Amy frowned. He could see that it wasn't enough for her. That she wanted to know more but he just couldn't. He couldn't really talk to Amy about it. It was too painful and he wanted to forget. He wanted to be able finally move on and he wouldn't be able to that if he will dig himself into those memories again. Dreamlord already damaged his defenses.

-Look, Amelia - I took her hand. – I know it's not enough, I know you want to know more, especially after all those things you heard but I can't. I never was good in emotional things it's too complex for me and it's too human. What you need to know is that Rose is my past. And I have a huge past, I am very very old man. And no matter how much I cared of her you and Rory are here now. And I am happy to have you here, you are my friends and companions. I had many lives and in each life I met people who became special to me. And in this life you and Rory became my family and I intend to keep it that way as long as possible.

Amy looked at this old man in a young lad's body and understood. That sometimes you should let things go she hugged her wonderful raggedy Doctor and felt how his body relaxed. She felt so sorry for him for everything he lost, for his pain and guilt. But she needed to know one more thing.

-Ok, Doctor. -She freed herself from Doctor's embrace and looked him in the eyes.- I won't ask details about you and her anymore and if you want I won't bring up this topic ever again unless you ask it for yourself. But I need to know one thing.

-All right, - he was thankful for her understanding but was a bit alarmed by this one last question.

-I just …after this Dreamlord guy and all those things he told me about you and how you behaved when I kissed you, which I still feel a bit of awkward about, he scared me a bit. It's like he was implying that you are not capable of caring for someone for real but at the same time I know that you care for me and Rory, well in a way at least and I get it that he was plotting thins in order to get to us. But I need to hear it from you. Not from your guilty consciousness, but you. I always thought that you, well, that you just don't do these kinds of things but after River's implications and after Rose's appearance I need to know whether or not you are capable of loving someone. So there it's…Were you in love with Rose?

I was startled. I knew I could lie or omit this question or run away as I always did. But for some reason I didn't and I simply answered.

-Yes.

-Are you still in love with her?

-Amy…I, - she looked like a child again waiting for me to save her from the monstrous side of me she saw today. I know she needed to persuade herself that I am not a monster that I am capable of truly loving someone. And I owed her that. – Yes I am. I always have and I always will. Nothing can change that, - I sighed.

-What about River? – she asked suddenly.

-What about her?

-Well, she did imply she was your wife and she is certainly not Rose who you defiantly not over.

I looked at her in confusion.

-First of all time can be re-written. Second of all I have no intention ever get into any kind of relationships with Professor Song whatever she might imply. Third, even if in a few centuries I'll decide to give it a go what makes you think that I won't be over Rose? Plus it's a bit of like being a widower. Just because she isn't with me doesn't mean I stopped l…what I am trying to say that I know Rose and yeah she would be jealous but first of all she wants me to be happy just as much as I want her to be happy.

-OK, - Amy said simply. – I believe you. And you know, Doctor. You are so wrong about yourself. No matter what you did no matter what you lost, if you are still capable of loving someone like this then everything is all right.

With that Amy kissed the Doctor on the cheek and went to her and Rory's room leaving confused Doctor for his thoughts.


	2. Christmas Carol

Today was a truly magical adventure it was one of those days which I'll remember until the end of days. By the way me being a Doctor and all, I LOVE Christmas and today was one of the most extraordinary and fun adventures ever! Today I was the ghost of Christmas, holy TARDIS I love Charles Dickens I've actually met him on one of the Christmases long time ago with Rose…

Yeah, again Rose. Will my memory ever let her go? I absolutely have no idea. Maybe one day. Anyway as much as I loved this adventure I am bit sad, thinking of this day, well it wasn't technically a day, I managed to re-write someone's life, save the ship, visit dozens of places and see a flying fish, oh I AM good! That was truly brilliant! But as always I had to pay the price, well not me technically but Kazran and Abigail. Oh these two…they would be brilliant companions if things were different I would gladly offered them place in my TARDIS team, two couples, one Doctor and all of the time and space, how cool is that?

As I mentioned before today was a bittersweet day when your heart hurts a bit but in a good way, you know what I mean? It's like you are sad that it's gone but at the same you are happy that it happened to you. Like I said to Amy when meeting Vincent, life IS the pile of good and bad things and one doesn't spoil the other and makes it unimportant. And today's day that proved it to me again. I don't know why I felt it exactly today, perhaps Abigail and Kazran's story helped me more than I realized. It's just for the first time since I lost Rose I felt like this gaping hole in my chest started to heal at least a little bit. It doesn't bleed endlessly anymore as it used to in my Tenth body and it doesn't burn so unbearable that I couldn't breathe sometimes to which I got used to actually, I felt lighter somehow.

When did I realize that? I am not sure, I just know where it's started.

It's started with Abigail, when I talked to her on our first Christmas together. After flying the shark we went to have a picnic on this planet called Ginevra 23 where they actually had BLUE grass! Kazran went off to see local animals and me and Abigail sat under the BLUE tree and ate some strange pancakes. I am still not sure what are they made of but they were really good! We were chatting about nothing really and then she asked me:

-Where you here before?

I turned towards her, surprised by this question.

-No. why?

-It's just it seems like you know this place, the way you talk to people and you know, behave.

-Well, that's my job! I travel through time and space I have to be confident otherwise I'd be put in prison or executed or put in some giant box. –I realized something- Well actually I think I've already done all that stuff…Hmmm maybe I should work on my communication skills.

Abigail laughed, brightly and happily reminding me of another blonde's smile.

-I think you are doing just fine. – she was quiet for a moment her eyes were watching Kazran who played with some kind of pink monkey with giant ears. – So are you travelling on your own?

-No, actually. I have friends with me Amy and Rory, they are! But they are kind of having a honeymoon right now, well they did have one but now they are crashing the earth somewhere.

-Crashing the earth?

-Yeah, yeah don't worry, I am working on it!

-OK, - she said a bit hesitantly. I looked at her. God how much she resembled Rose. Not only in appearance, she was also kind and gentle but at the same time strong-willed and brave. I sighed, perhaps a bit too heavily. What life could I have if Rose still were here with me? Running the universe hand in hand, would she stay with this new me? Of course she would, I thought immediately, she stayed with me twice, once after regeneration second time after metacrisis. At least I hope she did. Perhaps all these grim thoughts reflected on my face, cause Abigail looked really concerned when she addressed me again

-Is everything OK Doctor?

Damn it. You are ageless Timelord! When will you learn really hide your emotions! It's enough that you behave like a lovesick teenager who managed to fall in love with a human! Human! Out of all species, of course it had to be a fragile human being.

-Yeah, I am fine just a bit tired I suppose. I feel today's gonna be a very long day!

Abigail wasn't so sure.

-Of course I am not the expert and well we just met today, but it looks like you've lost someone. And excuse me my rudeness, you doesn't seem to be as young as your face is.

-Ha, well yes, Abigail you are very clever. – I laughed – I am not as young as I am appeared to be, it's my thing you may say and yeah I did lost someone, in fact I've lost a lot of people – I finished quietly looking into the alien sky.

-Yeah I can see that, but there is someone that still haunts you, isn't it? Someone you can't let go?

I was surprised. Abigail was more like Rose than I thought, she did the same thing asked the most right question. I don't know why but I decided to open up a bit to this woman perhaps because I'll never see her again perhaps because I wanted to.

-I'd rather not to talk about it. But yeah there is someone who I can't really let go, no matter how much I try.

-Maybe you shouldn't then?

-What? – OK, I expected sympathy or some other humanish thing but not these. Blimey these humans always manage to surprise me, after all this time!

-Well, I mean you obviously cared deeply for that person and if you can't let go maybe you should accept you know pain and stuff. It's like you shielded yourself from it with adventures and new people and it's ok, it helps for awhile. It's like this pain and memories if you accept them at the beginning they will destroy you but when the time moves on, you surround yourself by new things and you don't pay much attention to that shield anymore and it's starting to break, slowly. And all that emotions they crawl through those cracks like poisoning gas kicking you in the guts at the most vulnerable moment. So when this begins you need to get all your courage together and open this wound so it could finally begin to heal. So you could start to think only about good things that person brought to your life and let go of the bad things that happened.

I looked at this young, amazing woman and I couldn't say a word I just smiled brightly. Maybe, just maybe she was right and one day I'll be brave enough and stop blocking everything Rose-related. But not today, today I just found a bit of hope.

After several trips and great Christmases (did I mention how much I LOVE Christmas?) Kazran suddenly didn't want to travel with me anymore. I couldn't understand why but I accepted it and then he cracked the truth to Amy and I got it. I understood why after all the adventures, after Abigail being in his life, after all great things he saw, he became such a bitter man. His source of happiness and hope was unreachable for him, she was alive but he couldn't touch her, couldn't be with her unless killing her. It was like all over again, one day for him, whole life for her. Oh Rassilion, how good I knew this feeling, this despair that crashes on you! If it wasn't for Donna, Martha and the TARDIS of course, I would become a monster, a real monster who couldn't control himself and I almost did on Mars if it wasn't for Adelaide's sacrifice. Looking at these broken and old man I saw myself and I understood and I felt sorry for him. And then he said things I'll never forget

-Doctor! – the old Kazran growled!

-I'm sorry. I didn't realise.

-All my life, I've been called heartless. My other life, my real life, the one you rewrote. Now look at me. – Kazran looked at frozen Abigail

-Better a broken heart than no heart at all. – I said it, why I said this? I knew that it's not what a desperate man needs!

-Oh, try it. You try it. – Kazran said angrily. And I closed my eyes, how I wish I didn't know this feeling when something rips up your chest and takes your hearts out, squashing them and throwing them into the void. Sometimes I almost wished I've never met her it, would be so much easier. Roaming the universe without heartbreak, but then I think of her smile of her hand in my hands and I know that I would go through that hell again and again just to meet her one more time.

- Why are you here?- Kazran finally asked.

-Cos I'm not finished with you yet. – I walked forward - You've seen the past, the present...and now you need to see the future.

-Fine! Do it! Show me! I'll die cold, alone and afraid. Of course I will, we all do! What difference does showing me make? Do you know why I'm going to let those people die? It's not a plan. I don't get anything from it. It's just that I don't care. I'm not like you. I don't even want to be like you! I don't and never, ever will care!

- And I don't believe that.

And again I played a God and changed him forever.

Kazran changed so much that he couldn't control his machine anymore and I knew we were out of time, I knew Ponds and all those people were in danger, so I had to ask him to wake Abigail up for one last time so she could sing and save everyone, except for herself.

-Her voice resonates perfectly with the ice crystals. It calmed the shark. It will calm the sky, too. – I say

Kazran once again looked at Abigail I saw the agony he was going through but we didn't have a choice. One life, for thousands lives.

-Could you do it? – Kazran asked suddenly - Could you do this? Think about it, Doctor. One last day with your beloved. Which day would you choose?

I closed my eyes again. And all could I think of was my really happy Christmas with Rose and her family. In Jackie's tiny apartment just after regeneration, after fight with Sycorax. I was sitting in their living room with Mickey and Jackie and Rose of course, wearing this ridiculous paper crown, Rose was smiling at me brightly and then we walked out on the street. Even though it wasn't a real snow it still was beautiful and terrible, like the universe itself. And then, well then Rose agreed to come with me again, God how happy I was. She really saw me through my new face, she took my hand and I couldn't take my eyes of her, she was so beautiful like a star in the night sky.

The metal door opened and Abigail stepped out. She came close to Kazran and smiled at him gently.

-Christmas. Christmas Day. Look at you. – she put her hand on his cheek- So old now. I think you waited a bit too long, didn't you?

-I'm sorry. – Kazran was almost crying.

-Hoarding my days, like an old miser.

-But...if you leave the ice now...

She looked him right in the eyes.

-We've had so many Christmas Eves, Kazran. I think it's time for Christmas Day.

And with that it was decided. Abigail sang her last, beautiful song and I had to leave them to themselves. My friends were waiting for me.

After reuniting and teasing and laughing we got to the TARDIS.

-Are you OK? – Amy asked unexpectedly

-Course I'm OK. You? – lie again. But I won't start this topic. We talked about Rose once when meeting Dreamlord and that's enough sharing, even with Amy.

-Of course. It'll be their last day together, won't it? – Amy was sad a little, I could see that. Not a fairytale happy ending.

I thought for a second how to answer that.

-Everything has to end sometime, otherwise nothing would ever get started. – and yeah, that was truth. Everything ends, all things. And one day Amy you'll be gone too.

Rory opens the door as usually interfering our emotional talk.

-Your phone was ringing. Someone called Marilyn. Actually sounds like THE Marilyn. – ok that was bad! I married myself again and again to a famous person! Hope she won't wait for me like poor Elizabeth.

-Doctor? – Amy was so not letting this go.

-Tell her I'll phone her back. And that was never a real chapel. – even if it was I was "married" so many times that I've lost count!

Rory pops back in the TARDIS and Amy asks me again. Oh, my curious Pond!

-Where are they? Kazran and Abigail.

-Off on a little trip, I should think.

-Where?

-Christmas. – I smiled

-Christmas?

-Yeah, Christmas.

Amy laughed and went in the TARDIS. I looked up in the night sky and that is when I knew that everything is going to be all right.

-Halfway out of the dark.


	3. Melody and Rose

This is the first chapter, when we meet Rose, sort of.

* * *

Silence, no light, no time, no space. I live outside this simple indicators which mortals created for themselves, I used to be one of them long time ago. Or maybe I will, or perhaps I am, it seems so irrelevant right now. I remember my life, my human, real life with chips and buses and dull job, I remember meeting Him, the man who changed my life forever, I remember becoming This, everywhere and nowhere at once, seeing everything that was, is or ever will be. I remember falling into the void of despair when I lost all of it, I remember becoming stronger and coming back. I remember when He became human and stayed with me until our dying days, the way we lived and travelled again, the way we loved each other, fully and without fear. The one who sacrificed that life with me thought I left him for good. Little did he know, I didn't just left messages through the whole of time and space, I became them. Because I saw it all, I knew that I won't be able to stay with him even for my human life, so I became this, watching silently never interfere just be there to help, when I can.

But today was the day when I have a choice, I can reveal myself for awhile or I could help silently like I always do. I am in the prison now, I can see the clumsy Roman who is desperate to find his wife and daughter and I can finally see her, the poor woman who sacrificed everything to ensure the Doctor's safety. I wish I could help her, I wish I could take her away from this madness and give her a normal life with her parents where she would be truly loved and cherished but I can't, not because I don't have enough power, I can restart the Universe if I want to, but I can't do this, because it's not right, re-writing someone's life is wrong no matter how much better you can make it, the lesson which the Doctor seems fail to learn, I smiled sadly, that is why today he had to be reminded.

I hear them talking about the upcoming battle

- They've taken Amy. And our baby. The Doctor's getting some people together. We're going after her, but he needs you, too.

- I can't. Not yet, anyway. – Melody answered, not that I don't like to think of her as "River" it's just , as me and the TARDIS agreed, Melody suits more to her, maybe because Amy chose it for her. I've always liked Amy, she was a great companion, well I mean she still is, at this point of time.

- I'm sorry? - Rory was really hurt, I could see that. Oh, poor Rory I wish I could say that is the worst part of your day.

- This is the Battle of Demon's Run. The Doctor's darkest hour. – I laugh to myself silently. Oh, Melody, how naïve you are to trust his words, he made you put in that blue book of yours. It was a hard day but he had harder, so much harder days and nothing will ever compare to the day he vanished his people. Melody continued - He'll rise higher than ever before and then fall so much further, and I can't be with him till the very end.

- Why not?

- Because this is it. This is the day he finds out who I am. – yes, it is. And after that day he will try to be responsible for you and fail of course.

Rory disappeared in the light of the manipulator and I could see that he was angry, couldn't blame to be honest, but me and Melody knew that sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can't say a word.

-Hello, Melody Pond. – I decided to start without a prelude, but even I didn't except my voice to be so…well unhuman.

-Who's there? – Melody was really afraid, God, I admired this woman. She was always so very brave, no matter how much she was really afraid

-Don't be afraid, I am not here to hurt you, I just need to talk to you. – I said as gently as I could. I didn't speak to mortals in a very long time.

-Show yourself then!

In the dark of the cell I started to glow, the way I did when I first saw the raw power of time and space, when I became a part of this power. I took the form of the one who created me, the one I shared mind and soul with. I knew how Melody will see me, eternally youthful, I was twenty human years when I looked into the heart of the TARDIS. This woman doesn't know the connection I feel, as we are bonded through our beloved time machine and it's owner.

I wear a simple white dress with a vest and brown boots, my hair curly and I have a few thin braids, I think my eyes are lined, that's weird, perhaps I just missed human make up.

Melody looked at me with confusion, I knew she wouldn't expect an almost teenager to intimidate her, but I couldn't change my appearance, my echoes will always have my 20-year old face.

-Melody Pond,-I repeated – It's a great pleasure to finally meet you, or for you to meet me more precisely as I've been watching you your entire life. Yeap, I can see the whole life of a person, from birth to death by just looking at him or her, or it, I can see every possibility and every possible timeline, with people like Melody, time-travelers, and especially with the Doctor it wasn't always easy as their lives were in the constant change.

-Who are you? What do you want from me? And how is that you've been watching me my entire life, I've never met you! –I just noticed that Melody was pointing a gun at me, well me being not really alive and all it didn't matter much. But I still didn't like to talk through the gun.

-You should first put your gun down and then I'll answer all the question, well most of them, weeell those I CAN answer. Anyway, as I said I won't hurt you in anyway.

-Why should I trust you?

-You don't have to, but we don't' have much time. I am here because we need to talk and this won't be a nice talk unfortunately, cos I am here because of the Doctor.

-What? – she lowered her gun. – You know the Doctor? Is he all right?

-In your point of time he is fine and dandy, but not quite himself. Don't worry – I said when I saw Melody's expression. Damn it, I forgot how hard to talk about one point in time. – His life is save, well as save as it could be if you are someone like the Doctor.

I saw a faint smile on Melody's face

-Yeah, he is a walking trouble. But still you didn't answer my question. Who are you, and how do you know the Doctor? And what with all the glowing and scary voices?

-Sorry about the voice – I said quickly – I haven't really talked much to mortals in a very long time, so…

-Mortals? – her eyebrows went up

-Yep, I am a bit not alive, well I was long time ago but I am not anymore. Anyway it's not important and right now we need to talk about current problem you and I share.

-The Doctor?

-Yep, the one. You see.- I sighed and sat on Melody's bed – I sort of know when and why you'll meet the Doctor for the very first time, but I can't really go there and tell him all he needs to hear by myself.

-I am not sure that I trust you – Melody sat next to me – But if you explain what's going on I'll pass the message if it's important.

I smiled at her

-It's not about the passing my message it's about persuading. Plus, - I closed my eyes for a second. - You won't be able even to tell him who is it from.

River looked confused

-Why not? If you are a friend of the Doctor, it won't be a problem, will it? Who the hell are you?

I looked at her and my eyes glowed as I felt the power of the vortex running through my veins. Melody gasped a bit a bit, but reserved her composure.

-My name won't say you anything you've never heard of me or saw me before. There is no information about me in any universal databases.

-You don't know how good I am – Melody smiled mysteriously – plus the Doctor shares with me a lot of things, and I am sure he would have shared about someone so interesting as you appear to be.

As I thought, naïve. Well it was the beginning of her long journey she hasn't really SAW the Doctor yet.

-That's exactly why he won't say a word about me, ever. Especially considering that he thinks I am lost for him forever. And it's better to leave this way. He shouldn't know that I am around. It will make his life even more complicated then it is plus it's not fair, he has to move on eventually.

-What are you talking about? – I don't why but I was intimidated by this strange woman with golden eyes, River thought, and not in the power way, there was something about her, I don't know threatening, threatening my relationship with the Doctor. – You say stuff I don't understand at all! You came here, saying nonsense, saying that you need to talk to me about the Doctor, but not really saying anything, at all! .YOU?

The Bad Wolf sighed heavily. Melody did have a point. She wasn't just sure how to start.

-OK, I'll start from the beginning. My name is Rose Tyler, my human name I should say. But you may have heard about my second name, Bad Wolf?

-Bad Wolf? Isn't that an Earth fairytale or something?

-It is – Bad Wolf smiled gently. – I created it, sort of. I put that idea in mind of a writer so it could become my favorite fairytale.

-You put and…what? – River didn't like it. She didn't like it all, especially when she didn't understand something and it certainly was one of those moments.

-Nevermind, Melody. It still doesn't matter. You won't find any specific information on Rose Tyler, and you find nothing but some distant legends on the Bad Wolf, I made sure of it. No time traveler can ever interfere with Rose Tyler's timeline except for those she met in her original timeline and I erased information from every source, I literally live on only in the memories of those who met me personally.

I stopped to catch my breath.

-Why so many difficulties?- River asked – You did everything to erase everything about yourself, why?

-Because it's dangerous. And because I wanted to. I wanted that my time with the Doctor would never been disturbed by ANY kind of events or reboots of the universes, or re-writings of times or future friends or anything. At all. I protected every single moment. I know it's selfish but I couldn't help it. You may say that's it was my whim.

-So you traveled with him, you were his companion once? – River was hoping that this woman was just his companion, not the one she afraid she was.

Rose's eyes glowed again.

-Yeah, I was. Long time before he changed in the man you know. But something happened to me and I left echoes of myself so I could help him when I can.

-I see…Actually, I don't but …And now he needs your help? – Rose nodded- Why? I mean I know that he'll soon find out who I am, but as I see you understand time and you are not here to prevent the kidnapping, so why are you here?

-I am here because I am concerned of what has become of the Doctor.

River felt like she was stroke by a lightning. What did she mean? What did become of the Doctor? He was mad and wonderful, a bit clumsy and egoistical but who wasn't? Her Doctor was perfect just the way he was.

-What is that supposed to mean? –River asked coldly

-Not that you thought – Rose smiled again. And then became deadly serious– It's just…the Doctor started to lose himself. Really lose. When you last saw him it was way long after the battle on Demon's Run, right? – River nodded. – But before that, while he was looking for Amy, his beloved friend, he broke something in himself in order to find her. He made people who didn't want to do that, help him. And you know the Doctor very well, he never comes for debts or revenge.

River thought for a minute, this girl was right. The Doctor never step those lines except when he did and then nobody could recognize him, he truly needed his rules. She sighed.

-You are right, but I don't know what I can do. You see he doesn't really know me yet, not in his point of time. – Rover smiled painfully – And I don't think he ever bothered to really know me, apart from the general information.

The Bad Wolf was surprised, maybe after all Melody wasn't so naïve as she thought she was. Well that's good, that'll make her task far easier.

-I am sorry if I triggered any bad memories – Rose said sincerely – but I really don't have much time. Today you need to tell him all the truth right into his face, Melody, of what he becomes…

-But…

-I know it's scary, believe me, every time I stood up against him it was like looking into the heart of a burning sun. We both know how dangerous he is but you have to be really brave and show no mercy to him, not today. – Rose looked into nothing, like she something no one could. – Our emotions and feelings in this case are not important, because – she smiled again – no matter how much I hate to admit this many lives and many things depends on him, the Universe needs the Doctor.

River didn't know what to say, she was frightened, no terrified, because she knew exactly what Rose meant. The Doctor was wonderful and everything but he also was like fire, when he was flaming too much, nothing could stop him unless slapping him into the truth of his actions.

-OK, - River said – I'll think of something, I had to go there anyway and I know he won't be happy to see me, so why don't do both, right? – she winked – It's just, I am not even sure If should trust you or not.

-Well, I am not asking you to jump of the cliff or something. Just snap him into the reality and right now you are the only person who is capable of that.

-I gather you won't tell me everything, will you?

-No – Rose said a bit too cheerfully – Even if I could or wanted to, for that matter, I can't stay long in the mortal's world. I don't belong here anymore. I am just a memory, nothing more.

-A very powerful memory if you ask me. And I can't tell the Doctor about you, right?

-Yes, you can't tell him you saw me. Because he can't…shouldn't know that I may be around–Bad Wolf said silently. – I watch his life in silence, never changing or touching anything, just helping if I can.

River looked at her and felt sorry for this girl, or memory. She knew that look she could see it every day on her own face. She and Rose both knew the price for getting to the Doctor too close. She just wasn't sure she wanted to know how exactly close this Rose and Doctor were.

-I'll do what you ask, and I won't mention you, but I'll still try to find anything I can about you.

Rose laughed.

-Good luck with that! As I said I protected my timeline, so you won't be able to get there in any way. It's like the whole different universe surrounded by untouchable bubble. Plus, - Rose added after a moment – I don't think you want to know anything about me for many reasons. It's better this way, think of me as a friendly ghost of the past. I promise I will never bother you again.

River looked into those woman's golden eyes and resigned. She'll do what she ask, but she will still ask the Doctor about her, no matter what she needs to know, no matter how much it'll hurt or the consequences. They'll fix it if something happens they always do.

-I know what you think, Melody and I won't stop you, I am not here to control someone's actions. But I need to warn you, that whatever happens next is on your consciousness.

-Than you know that I don't have one – River said confidently.

-Goodbye, Melody. – with that Bad Wolf-Rose vanished into the golden light.

River needed ask and it will be her only chance. She can't ask him on their next meetings because THAT will definitely rip the whole in the Universe, so today or never. Oh God, today will be really difficult day!


	4. A good man goes to war

River landed at the Demon's Run, how long ago it was, how many mistakes she made since then and how many thing she gained and lost since Kovarian took her away from Amy and Rory. But she remembered the promise she made to the Bad Wolf. She needs to bring him from the darkness back and show no fear, no mercy. She got a grip and:

- Well then, soldier. How goes the day?

The Doctor turned quickly. He was angry, no he was furious, River has never seen him so dark and un-Doctor before, she knew exactly what to say but she wished she didn't.

- Where the hell have you been? Every time you've asked, I have been there. Where the hell were you today? - he came straight towards her, nose to nose.

- I couldn't have prevented this. – River said honestly

- You could have tried!

- And so, my love, could you. – she said calmly, although inside she was burning with fear and regret. - I know you're not all right. – she turned to her parents - But hold tight, Amy, because you're going to be.

- You think I wanted this? I didn't do this. This, this wasn't me! – he was practically yelling

River knew it was the moment, now or never.

-This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. – River said sarcastically - Doctor. The word for healer and wise man throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means mighty warrior. How far you've come. And now they've taken a child, the child of your best friends, and they're going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.

The Doctor was taken aback, she could see that, something flickered in his eyes and she knew that he was taking the back ride, he was becoming himself again. But then:

- Who are you?

- Oh look, your cot. Haven't seen that in a very long while. – she tried to be playful a bit. Always playing a part, never being herself, even with him, especially him.

- No, no, you tell me. Tell me who you are.

- I am telling you. Can't you read?

River pointed on the Gallifreynian sign. And the Doctor understood. He saw it and his face became light and relived.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- But but that means

- I'm afraid it does.

- Ooo. But you and I, we, we, we, er - he tried to show the kiss, God, he was hopeless!

- Yes. – she said emphatically

- How do I look? – the Doctor asked proudly.

- Amazing.

- I'd better be.

- Yes, you'd better be.

- Vastra and Jenny, till the next time. Rory and Amy, I know where to find your daughter, and on my life, she will be safe. River, get them all home.

-Doctor! – Rory yelled

- No! Where are you going? – Amy was desperate. The Doctor took off in his TARDIS. Now was time to calm my parents down and then to talk to that mad man.

(A few hours later, for both the Doctor and River)

The Doctor was excited, no he was ecstatic! He didn't let the Ponds down, well he did but he knew that someday he'll fix that, at this point it was a miracle, considering that for a horrible minutes he thought that he lost everything. Again. And in the process destroyed lives of both his companions and their child. Good thing River was around and snapped him back to reality a little. He needs to thank her some day, maybe take her somewhere and apologize for doubting her for so long. But you couldn't really blame him she was irritating, arrogant and all-to-know, not that she wasn't all those things now, it's just being the child of Amy made her his responsibility and he had to take of her, no matter what.

Suddenly he saw a flash of light behind the console. He tried to think of places River mentioned before all information he knew, he promised himself that he won't stop until he find her. But then the flash disappeared and present-day River stood in front of him. In the same outfit he saw her on the Demon's Run.

-What are you doing here? - he asked – I thought you were with your parents, catching up and all plus as far as I know, you can't be here now, I have to find baby-you first.

River walked towards him, he saw she was nervous. He didn't understand why, were there something else he needed to know?

-River, what's wrong?

-I came here to apologize for being a bit cruel today- she said suddenly – And yeah, you have to find me first but it's my only chance cause we are both at the same point of time, more or less. – They smiled to each other

- You don't need to apologize for anything! If something, I have to say how sorry I am for everything that happened to you and…

-Don't – River stopped him gently – we'll have this conversation one day on a beautiful picnic, but not today. Right now I need to ask you something.

-OK, go on, ask. I won't bite – he tried to flirt. He was terrible in it, but he liked flirting with her . It was easier then to discuss what really connected them. When she didn't answer in the same manner he knew something was tremendously wrong.

-Doctor… I need to ask you about Rose Tyler. – River decided not to postpone inevitable, she made up her mind the moment Rose left and she needed to know. Now.

To say that the Doctor was surprised is to say nothing at all. He expected anything, any question about their relationship, about his plans, about Amy and Rory and he thought he'll answer truthfully. But that…

River saw the way the Doctor's face changed, he lost all the blood on his cheeks in a second and looked if he were really a few thousand years old, her worst suspect was becoming true. Maybe she really should have listened to Rose.

-Why do you ask about her? – he said with a bit of o northern accent, the one he had when he was in his Ninth body, when he met her. The Doctor knew perfectly well, that he would never discuss that with River and if she asked now then she found about Rose by herself somehow.

River made a deep breath and then said:

-I've met her today.

-WHAT? River! How dared you? You had no right to dig into my past without my permission! Let alone talk to people, especially to…

-Especially to who, Doctor? – she interrupted – And for the record I didn't look for her or travelled to your personal past, she said it was impossible to enter her and yours, apparently, timestreams of that time.

Suddenly it became too much for the Doctor. Just too much in one day! He travelled non-stop for weeks to find Amy, he found the truth about River, he let down his friends, he almost lost himself and now THIS. Whatever it was, stupid lies or a sick game River played with him he had enough of it, so he roared in the inhuman voice:

-That's impossible, everything you say is just impossible! There is no way in the Universe this is the truth! What game are you playing at? And why? What the hell is wrong with you?

River knew what she have signed herself for, but she wasn't prepared for such a passionate reaction. It seems that everything was even worse, he was in love with that woman. Now she was sure of it.

-Doctor- she put her hand on his and he flinched, River was hurt but she was trying not to show it – I am telling you the truth. This woman, she came to me in the cell today, she said that you are losing yourself and that I need to bring you back no matter what – the Doctor finally looked at her, that did sound like Rose, but how? Even if it was her, why didn't she come to see him personally? If Rose were there he wouldn't lose that battle, that's for sure. River continued:

-But she also said that she can't go to you by herself, because she doesn't belong here anymore.

-What?

-She said that she was…I don't know, somekind of a ghost or an echo, that she is not really alive. She also mentioned something about the…the Bad Wolf.

The Doctor flinched again. No, that can't be, no way! But, what if…? No! It's just not fair! How can it be here?! So Rose's been around for God knows how long and he didn't know? What happened to her? Why she was even here and why she wasn't alive? He needed to know! Suddenly he felt River's hand on his shoulder, he grabbed her hands and began manically.

-River, I need you to tell me, what exactly she told you. What is she? How is she here? Is she dead, why did she never contacted me, was she kidnapped? Is the Universe in danger again? How did she came back?

River wanted to cry. He never spoke of her with such a passion or concern. But no, he won't see her tears, God, she felt so, so humiliated and he hated everyone, herself and Rose and the Doctor. She just wanted to crawl back into her bad, she wanted to be weak for once but at the same time she needed to know.

-I told you everything I knew – she said almost breathlessly. – I didn't understand even the half of what she was saying. She said…she said in her real, first life she was human but she didn't look like one. She was a bit unearthly and she was all in the golden light and her eyes were golden too.

Doctor couldn't believe, that what exactly the Bad Wolf. But he thought he fixed that! He took it out of her!..But at the same time at the back of his head he knew that becoming an almighty Goddess even for ten minutes will have it consequences but he thought that all, the written signs and echoes were all of it, but apparently not. And then he looked at the woman in his arms, at this amazing woman who did everything to help him and he felt ashamed of himself. She didn't deserve such a treatment, she just wanted to know about something she didn't understand and now he exposed that there is much more to Rose then she originally thought.

He tried to calm himself and to be as kind as possible

-I am sorry River. I shouldn't have reacted like this, it's just these few weeks were really hard and now this…it's a bit too much.

-It's ok, - again, she was understanding and supportive, how he could ever to repay that debt to her? – You've lived a very long life and it was stupid of me to think that you never had relationships before. – the Doctor looked at her – I am not an idiot, sweetie. I can see your reaction and I saw the way she spoke about you …

-River, I am…

- Let me finish, my love. It's already hard and it would be better if I won't be interrupted. I know that all this situation is beyond our control that we are both are in this madness because of other people's plans. And I know you didn't ask for the relationship with me. But we have what we have and one day you'll understand that it couldn't be other way around. What I am saying – she made a deep breath –That you need to promise me, that in the future you'll try to love me or like me at least, for who I am, not for who my parents are or for what I did for you . I do love you with all my heart but I can't make you to feel the same way. But you need to promise me that you'll give our relationship a try and who knows? Maybe you'll love me too.

The Doctor was silent. This magnificent woman poured her heart out for him but all he could think was that he is not capable of giving her what she needs. Maybe one day, but not now and with Rose being around at least at some form it would be even harder. He gave his hearts once and he didn't want to go through that again, considering that he knows for sure that River won't be around for long. But he could be as open and respectful with River as possible, maybe he won't fall in love with her but he'll care for her until the end.

-I promise you, River. I'll try my best to help you and to be there for you whenever you need me.

-Thank you. – the Doctor could hear tears in her voice, but he didn't know what to do about it, he didn't feel connected to River enough or anything like that in order to be really helpful, stupid old man! They stayed in silence for awhile and then River said in her usual, playful tone–OK, anyway I need to come back to my cell and you have a job to do, remember?

-Of course I remember! I'll find you in the end, you of all people should know that! – the Doctor again was behaving like a child he was in this body.

-Yeah, see you soon, sweetie. – with that, River Song disappeared in the flashlight.

The Doctor stood in the console for a very long time, not even moving. His brain worked even faster than usual. He knew the job he had to do, but he couldn't. Right now he needed to…he didn't know what he wanted, so he decided to go to his room and maybe to sleep for a few hours.

The Doctor walked through the shiny corridors of his beloved ship to his room, he went to the kitchen to grab some tea and jimmy dodgers before sleep. He clumsily opened the door to his room and then he dropped on the floor everything he had in his hands.


	5. Demons and Wolves

This chapter is a bit longer and complicated. There are thorough explanations about Rose's condition and I did the best I could to describe it as I see it in my head, but I am no RTD and not even Moffat, so forgive me if anything

* * *

Rose Tyler, or specifically the echo of Rose Tyler that she created during her Bad Wolf time, was sitting in the Doctor's room. Even though she wasn't technically alive, she still was Rose, with all her experience and memories, plus the knowledge of all of the time and space. That's a lot to have in one head, good thing she is not really here, and will disappear as soon she'll finish her business. River made her choice, so now Bad Wolf's echo rippled to this very moment and a fixed point in time and space was created, now Rose will always appear in this specific moment, until the universe itself will perish to exist, which will happen someday as well and then everything will be reborn again, she saw it happening after all. That's a mild consolation. Sometimes she wondered maybe there is something after death, some place like Heaven, she wanted to believe that. Guess, I haven't lost it all, she thought, I am still Rose Tyler in the end not only the Bad Wolf.

Rose looked around, the Doctor's room looked exactly as she remembered, big windows with fake, changing views, a lot of shelves with books, some toys and devices, a gorgeous desk with some kind of a computer, big bright-blue sofa with cushions and clothes on it, a big mirror on the wall and a king-size bed. She never understood why the Doctor had this bed, he rarely slept and when he did, he usually dozed off in one of the hundreds of the TARDIS's room. She remembered that one time when he slept in his bed, with her. But of course they just slept nothing more, it was after the Krop Thor Planet. During their travels the Doctor was always reserved, this was the day when he put his guards very low. He allowed himself to hug her so gently and lovingly that her toes curled, they slept whole TARDIS-night together and that day she knew, she WAS going to die in battle and the Doctor knew that too, they were preparing themselves, but still it wasn't enough. That day in Torchwood 1 she really died and then was reborn, she became a different Rose: strong, confident, determined and…lonely. Just like her Doctor. Then, when she and her human Doctor came to Pete's World she became more like her old self, but still that naïve, carefree, impressionable shop-girl died on the Bad Wolf Bay.

Rose looked at herself in the mirror, she looked exactly like she looked in Melody's prison, just her eyes were glowing more rapidly, she was nervous. It was strange, she felt almost alive. She heard a sudden noise of china breaking, Rose turned around and her golden eyes met wide, green eyes of her new, new, new, new Doctor.

-Rose…-the Doctor breathed. – Rose…you are… I am…-The Doctor looked and looked and looked at her, it seems like he has never seen her before, and in a way it was true, he never saw her with his new eyes. He tried to calm himself down a bit. – So River was right, then. You or something like you is really here.

It felt like the time stopped, she didn't say a word. She just looked at him drinking in his new face. One thing was watching him from afar, away from time and space, another was standing here, feeling his warmth and emotions. It didn't matter to her which face he wear, she loved him, any version of him mortal or Time Lord, Valeyard of DreamLord, it didn't matter one bit. Rose could feel the power of the Bad Wolf in her rising, all of the memories all of the things they've been through crashed on her at once, she could feel that her eyes were glowing even more rapidly than ever and something else…like her eyes were burning with tears unleashed.

The Doctor's usual gob disappeared in a second, he was really trying to say something else but his mind was whipped clean. All he could think was that Rose stood in his room, she really was here. He didn't even care that it might be a clever trap or maybe one of the TARDIS's ghosts or maybe he just gone finally mad. He just looked at his perfect Rose. She was shining, her eyes were golden and he could feel that it was the Bad Wolf who surrounded her. She was looking at him the way she always did with love and warmth. And he knew, he knew it really was his Rose Tyler, not something the Dreamlord created for him, or his sick imagination, it was really Rose…

-How can you be here? – the Doctor finally asked in breathless voice.

Rose was trying really hard to make her voice steady and calm.

-Didn't River told you?

-Yeah she did, but I still don't get anything. Plus it's not like you shared with her all story. – The Doctor finally was able to move. He entered the room and overstepped the broken china, the door behind him closed as if the TARDIS felt that nothing in the world should disturb them. The Doctor carefully crossed the room and stood face to face with Rose, he didn't know what to do or say, he just waited for her to answer him, to explain. He didn't even know what kind of explanation he was waiting for, he just wanted to know something, anything.

-I didn't have much time –Rose finally answered, after a long moment – And I did ask her not to tell you anything about our little chat, if she didn't I wouldn't be here now.

His hearts broke, again. She didn't want to be here, she just had to, because of some mission she assigned for herself when she still loved him, well he didn't expect her to love him forever and ever, it just was a bit harder to take then he thought. He swallowed hardly.

Rose didn't mean anything like that, she could see hurt in his eyes.

-Doctor, -she stepped closer.- I didn't mean I don't want to be here, it's just if it wasn't for River I wouldn't reveal myself to you – She hesitantly and slowly put her hand on his cheek. He leaned into it at instant, God, how much he missed her touch, it was like he was bathing in sunlight, he didn't feel that good….well since he touched her for the very last time.

-Rose, I – and then he hugged her, fiercely and closely, he could feel every curve of her, he could feel the way she smiled into his neck, how her arms wrapped around his neck and all he could think of not letting her ago, ever again.

Rose was trying really hard not to cry, she felt so human right now, the way she felt in her real life. It was so strange and wonderful, but she had to remind herself, that she could never stay that the Doctor has a new life now, that he was married…more or less.

She freed herself gently from his embrace and took his hand, the Doctor smiled so brightly, so happily that it took her breath away. They sat down on the blue sofa never letting the hands go. Rose started to talk.

-I know you have questions, my Doctor. – he smiled even more brightly at this, she sadly smiled back – and I will answer them, at least those I can, it's hard to know everything, you know.

-So you are the Bad Wolf then? – he asked – How is it possible? I mean, I distinctly remember taking it out of you! Are you really here or this is just something…I don't know, different.

Rose took a deep breath and began her story.

-I am not really here …

-But…

-Let me finish, Doctor. And then you'll say anything you like. As I said, I am not really here. I am just an echo that exists at certain fixed points of time and space, never changing, never interfere anything, well almost never – she smiled. – When I looked into the heart of the TARDIS I saw everything, as you know, I saw any versions of reality and I saw the future and the past, I saw that I'll be gone soon, I saw the moments where I should help you and I created This. I created not only the words and names and stuff, but I sort of projected, printed myself in certain points in time, all this moments they have my consciousness, my face and well part of my and TARDIS's soul, basically I live in the vortex itself, everywhere and nowhere at once, but at this fixed points I can reveal myself. It's like being Rose Tyler with Bad Wolf powers which I can control. When I looked at the heart of the TARDIS, I became the part of that power, I became the part of the vortex and time and space – she looked into his eyes. – And now I am here.

The Doctor sat in silence, that was too impossible and too much information even for his remarkable brain. He always felt that it was more to the Bad Wolf than he originally thought but this… And then he thought of Rose, of the woman he loved so deeply, who did it for him, who stayed with him forever like she promised at least in some way.

-Rose, I am sorry.

-What for?

-You did that, and now…

-Doctor, it's not like that. – Rose tried to calm him down, she knew he would think she suffered and was alone but it was different. Those concepts didn't work for her anymore, she wasn't really alive she was the part of the vortex created by her human self. - I live beyond time in space, I am the power of the vortex. It's not like I wait for the moments when I need to help you, I do it just because I can and because, well, many thing depends on you. It's like I live in the ocean, but once in a while I step out of it in order to do something useful. All these – she looked around – for me it's just a glimpse. All those times when I helped you, when you didn't even met me yet, all those time I will help you, from my point of view they already happened and I am at peace. I am here today just because I know that after everything River said to you, you won't be able to find your peace and move on.

The Doctor had so many questions that he thought his head will blow up now. He thought he started to understand what she meant but…

-Why did you never reveal yourself? – he asked – When I called for you after I lost you, I called for you so many times, I begged you to come back! Why didn't you show yourself if you were around?

Rose sighed.

-I couldn't – she looked away

-Why not? – the Doctor said almost angrily.

Rose looked into his eyes once again

-Because you had to live through that. You had to move on, meet new people, live your life. –she squeezed his hand gently – You shouldn't dwell on the past, Doctor, out of all people you know it the best. Answer me this, if you knew I was around, at least in some form, would you take Martha or Donna with you? Would you meet Amy? Would you start your journey with River?

He knew the answer. Of course he wouldn't, he would be waiting for Rose and their next meeting, he would sit in the TARDIS for days doing nothing. He wouldn't be able to move on.

-It's still not right, Rose. You should have given me a choice

-Now , who is talking about taking away people's choices – she said sarcastically.

-Yeah and look what it done to me! – he yelled suddenly and jumped of the sofa. – Look what became of me, I am playing a God because I can! I re-write peoples' lives, I got myself into the relationship with a woman I don't even know and can never love, but we both have no choice now and I didn't even know why! I destroyed my own planet! And now you, my anchor, the woman who made me better, becoming me! How do I know you didn't re-write my life? Or someone else's? Or maybe you were the one who created my human self and to got a happily ever after, so I could rot here without you!

Rose slapped him as hard as Jackie Tyler's daughter could do it. She was angry, no she felt like a wild wolf she was! She practically growled at him in her wolfish voice.

-How dare you? – Rose was trembling with emotions, it took all her willpower not to turn him into atoms like she did with Dalek emperor. – How dare you to accuse me of controlling your life! – she bellowed – I never put a finger on your it! Do you think if I did, I would let myself be trapped into the Pete's world!? Or maybe you think I didn't have enough power to make myself immortal and stay here forever? Or do you think I couldn't re-write River's life so she would have never met you, if you think I am such a monster! Or maybe I could have erased Charlie! Or bring myself to the beginning of your life and haunt you forever! I could have done anything I like! But I didn't even say a word until today! All I did, was sometimes, saved your damned life, because no one else could! So don't you stand here and accuse me of the things that you have no idea about!

The Doctor felt so, so ashamed. How could he think of that? How even such a thought could come into his head? It was Rose for God's sake, Bad Wolf or not! He knew he stepped over the line and regretted it immediately she slapped him. He would beg for her forgiveness even if it will be the last thing he'll ever do.

-Rose, Rose I am sorry, I am so sorry, I am such an idiot – he started quickly, he tried to take her hand but she refused even to look at him – Rose, please…I just, I don't know what came into me! – He sighed and fell on the couch heavily, he looked old and miserable - It just…Since I regenerated I feel that something is wrong. It's like something or someone controlling my life, all those cracks in the universe, this entire River situation, the Silence and just everything! It's like I am pray in someone's game and I don't like it!

Rose looked at him and set next to her Timelord. She was still angry with him but she knew exactly how he felt and she knew he was right to. Someone WAS controlling his life and those someone were very powerful and to tell the truth Rose didn't even know if he'll live through Trenzalore. There was a chance that he might get new regeneration cycle but she couldn't know for sure. Plus, in order to get those regenerations, he had to save Gallifrey first and she still didn't know if he'll chose to do it or not, or will she be able to get his Tenth and War self into the right place and right time and she didn't even know how the Doctor will handle Clara and her jumps…This Eleventh incarnation is too damn complicated! Too many paradoxes around him, only the Eights was more complicated with different universes and all. Even though she knew about some future possible options for him, she couldn't say word, not about Gallifrey not about Trenzalore, but she could confirm things that he already suspects.

-Doctor, - she said carefully, the Doctor looked at her he was grateful she didn't hate him for what he said, but he could see that Rose was still angry– You need to take in patiently things, I am about to say to you.

-OK – the Doctor answered, he knew that being Bad Wolf she knew something, but he also knew that she won't tell much, foreknowledge is very dangerous, especially from such a reliable source as the Goddess of Time.

-You are not totally paranoid. There is someone after you as you already guessed, and yeah they sort of influence your life.

-They? – so there were many of them? Who hated him that much? Apart from Kovarian's gang of course and the Daleks, and maybe some Cybermen, ok he DID have a few enemies. The Doctor was trying really hard do not think about Pandorica and the army that waited for him there.

-I say "they" in general, not because there is a group of someone, but it doesn't mean I am saying there is someone specific, so I'll just call whatever it is "they". – Rose said

-All right – how he hated all that "future" precautions! They couldn't even talk like normal people. Well, they weren't normal and not people exactly.

-So this "they" are after you, they did blew up your TARDIS and "they" kidnapped Melody.

-But I know who kidnapped Melody. It was the Silence and Kovarian. – Ok, then it's not this gang, how many gangs are after me? Why am I so popular?

-Correct, but it's not that simple and there is a much bigger picture to this. I am telling you that you need to be double careful in this incarnation. – she was so concerned about him, this crazy church and their stupid plan was awful. You can't punish a person what he hadn't done yet! Especially considering that he did the right thing!

-You mean it'll last till my death. – the Doctor stated flatly. Rose glanced at him. - Come on, we both know that this is my last life.

-Just be careful and watchful. – was all she said - Pay attention to all things, even if you think they are irrelevant, this might help you in the future.

He took her hand once again, she didn't take it away, so he knew she forgave him. She had such a big heart. Well, at least he didn't screw this up today. Rose looked at him and said:

- I need to get going

-What? – she winced at the painful expression on his face. - So soon? I mean, I know you can't stay for long but you could for a while!

-I can't – she said quietly

-Why not? – the Doctor felt like something pierced his hearts.

-Because you have your life now, you real life. – Rose said - You have your Ponds, you have River, you have Vastra, Jenny and Strax and many other people who cares for you. –she turned her face away from him, it was hard to admit this painful truth. - I am not the part of your world anymore

-What if I want you to be? – the Doctor asked a bit harshly.

Rose resumed an eye contact with him.

-That is exactly why I never revealed myself before, especially to your last face.

-Yeah, there is no way he would have let you go. – he was telling the pure truth. His previous self would tear the world apart if he knew that Rose was around him, his wound were way too fresh. - Nor that it's easy for me, but he was…

-I know, I was too. – Rose said quickly -When I was human, I never moved on from you, Doctor, not really. I always hoped that I'll see you again someday that I'll find a way. I guess sometimes miracles do happen. – she smiled with her signature smile, with a tongue between her teeth. That was such a painfully beautiful memory, one of which he'll take to his grave.

-It took years and regeneration for me, finally at least to be able to find a new companion, when I lost you for the second time. – the Doctor said. And again it was the truth. It's like they were making up for all the secrets they had before. It was good for once to talk to someone who really knew him, every bit of him.

-I know – she answered breathlessly.

He wondered for a moment if his human self ever told Rose their true name, the Bad Wolf surely knew it, but he wanted that Rose found it out directly from him, not because of her powers. But that the question for the other day. Now he needed to know something far more important.

-Were we happy?

-What? – Rose was visibly surprised. It was nice to know, that he could surprise this almighty version of her.

-Did I make the right choice? Were you and well…_him _happy together? – he asked impatiently.

-Yeah, Doctor. – Rose said sincerely -You did the right choice. I don't say it was easy, especially at first. – it doesn't even cover it. Oh, the hell she dragged her poor husband through, it took weeks for him to persuade her, to prove that he didn't leave her, that he gave up his mortality in order to be with her. - I didn't really believe that he was you, that he was the Doctor…

-You kissed him, you chose him – the Doctor said with a hint of jealousy. He still remembered that passionate kiss she gave to his mortal version. How he envied him that day, he would gladly give up his heart and regenerations to be with her.

-Think for a moment what was it's like for me. – she smiled at him sadly -I was exhausted and tired, we just won another battle and then I thought you were dumping me with the clone, God I still feel ashamed of thinking about him like this. Anyway, I kissed him on instinct. You refused to answer me. I understood why after awhile and now I understand even better, but that day it was horrible for me. Yeah, I kissed him because when he answered me I felt with my very soul for a moment that it was really you, and I gave in, I think unconsciously I saw what was really going on, that he was the Doctor, just a mortal one.

-I am glad.

-Are you? – Rose asked a bit doubtfully.

-Yes, no matter what. I've always wondered if did work out for you two, because I wanted to believe that at least one of my incarnations will be truly happy, even if the rest of me didn't get a happy ending. – he put her hand on his chest. -Did you manage to grow a TARDIS?

-In fact we did. After about 3 years we gave it a first ride.

-Really? 3 years! Well it was even quicker then I hoped for!

-Yeah, the Doctor said exactly the same. – she laughed . And then she decided to give him a bit of the insight on their lives. He had the right to know. - After we "retired", we gave the TARDIS to Tony, my younger brother and… our daughter.

The Doctor felt tears coming to his eyes. He was so happy that Rose had a full life, even though not with this him and now they had a child together.

-We had a daughter?

-Yes. – she smiled again - She was so like you, I mean the part human/part Timelord you. She had your mind. Sometimes I felt a bit too brainy around you two.

-But you are brilliant! – the Doctor exclaimed , he wanted to know more -What was her name?

-Ellie, in fact she had a child of her own, I hope that he'll have children of his own someday. We died when he was 23.

It stung him a bit that Rose mentioned her death so casually, but he had to remind himself that she was in a form of an all-mighty deity and death was something very simple for her, like falling asleep. But something bothered him in her words.

-Wait a minute…What do you mean "hope"? Can't you tell for sure?

-No, - she shacked her head – I can only see everything in this universe as I was born and then created here, from Pete's world I only have my human memories, that' s all. Anyway, you won't believe the name the Doctor picked for our grandson. He insisted to name him Jack!

-No way! – the Doctor said loudly - He named him Jack, seriously?!What was I thinking!?

-Oi, Jack was great! – it was so good to talk about something really nice, not about battles or her new abilities or future. - I really do think you should visit his stag party or something one day!

-That's just simply impossible! – the Doctor said with his I-know-for-sure voice, - Even with the TARDIS it would take years to go to all his stag parties!

-Well you could always console yourself that one day he'll stuck in a giant glass jar. – she joked

-Ha, maybe I should visit him before he gets stuck. – the Doctor chuckled.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Her hand was still in his hand and he kept it near his hearts.

- I never forgot you, you know. – Rose said gently, she continued when seeing the question look on his face- I mean this you, the Timelord you. I've always wondered how you were doing, even though I was happy. And then I started to have dreams. – he needed to know, that she never forgot him. That there was always a place for him in her life.

-Dreams?

-Yeah, dreams. About me being Bad Wolf and seeing parts of your life.

-You saw this? I mean, when you were human.

-Yep. First, of course, I didn't understand them, but later I told my Doctor and he did some telepathic tests and confirmed that I indeed were seeing some episodes from your life. We figured it was something to do with the Bad Wolf and all.

-I bet he was jealous. – Rose quirked her eyebrows - Don't look so surprised, the same man, remember?

-He really was, especially at first until one day he accepted and even well, he was grateful for this ability. – especially, when he found out that Gallifrey might have been saved, but she can't tell this Doctor about it, not yet.

-Really? – somehow it was hard for the Doctor to believe that he won't get jealous about Rose, even if he was jealous of himself.

-Really –Rose confirmed - not only because of things I told him, but because he saw how important that was to me. I've always felt a bit guilty for being happy, when I knew that you were here alone.

Oh, no! She felt guilty? He was the one who manipulated into that choice, even if it were for her own good, it still was his deeds, she had nothing to worry about! He made his choice in order to ensure her happiness and he didn't regret it one bit, especially considering how it all worked out for her.

-You shouldn't have, Rose! I never wanted you to feel guilt, let alone blaming yourself for making the right choice! It would never worked so perfectly with this me, you know that.

-I do and I did, but I still was worried about you and with me being able to see episodes from your life, I knew you were all right, roaming the Universe, saving worlds and being the Doctor. That was more than I could hope for. – she smiled again.

-I should be really going now. – Rose finally said.

-Will I ever see you again? – the Doctor had to know it.

-Do you really want to? – Rose asked, she need to be honest with him - I can never stay.

-I do want. – oh, how he did, but he wanted her to stay here forever even though he knew it's impossible - I know that you think that you are not part of my world anymore, but it's not truth. I care for all my companions past or present, and there is always a place for any of them in my lives, especially for you. I won't dwell on our past or expect that you'll stay here for long, I know you can't, but I will always be happy to see you. Because – he kissed her hand gently and looked straight into her golden-brown eyes - No matter what face I wear, how far I'll run or how many people I'll have in my life I will, always, always…

-Don't, please. – Rose pressed her fingerprints to his lips. She couldn't bare it. It will be hundreds time harder to leave if he'll say it - Don't…There is too much weight in those words. I understand it now. It doesn't need saying, I've always knew that you do, even when you had that leather jacket of yours. Because, I do too. – Rose got up and freed her hand gently from his. - And I always will, no matter which face you wear. – with that she started to glow -Goodbye, my Doctor.

-Until next time, Rose Tyler.

And the Bad Wolf Rose vanished into the golden light. The Doctor stood and not bothering to undress jumped on his comfy bed. He remembered when he really slept here for the last time. It was after the Impossible Planet when he knew that Rose will disappear from his life soon and he wanted to do something that will chase his nightmares away, so he slept with her in this very bed, embracing her, trying to say every untold word between them, he knew she understood that. He knew Rose felt his love for her and knew that he did indeed believe the Beast's words.

The Doctor looked at his hand, it's still held Rose's warmth from moments ago. It was hard letting her go, but with her being around he felt like he was protected by his personal deity, his angel. After all, he did once said that he believed in her. With that, the Doctor smiled and fell asleep. Tonight he had no nightmares, only dreams, about his Wolf.


	6. God Complex

So this was it. My death is coming and I need to run away from it, as far as I can get. But first I need to assure Amy and Rory's safety. They can't be a part of it, it's way too dangerous. They should stay away from me. Everyone should. Today's adventure with the Minotaur proved once again, but today it wasn't only Amy's life in danger, but her soul. I had to break her faith in me, to break the basics of our friendship, so I could save her. But first, before I'll drop them off, I want to give them something. Something they would remember me by. A house, maybe? And a car, Rory loves cars. I used to have a car myself. It was beautiful, yellow, masterpiece called Bessie.

Ponds went to their room now, I need to do everything quickly, they've decided to take a nap after a very hard adventure and it was my chance to do everything right. I need to let go of them, before it's too late.

The Doctor's mind drifted to the hotel and its endless corridors. First they headed to Ravan-Skala with 6 feet tall people, but the TARDIS, as always, had its own mind and brought them to this terrible place, where he was needed. There they met a bunch of scared people who was trapped the same way the Doctor and his friends were.

The Doctor was thinking about those people who didn't survive this hotel, Howie and Lucy and poor Rita. He liked Rita, he would gladly take her with him in the TARDIS but it's never meant to be. And then happened something even more scary, his Amy, his little Pond was infected with a creature and started to praise it, good thing Rory was immune, he didn't have faith, he relied on himself and things he can achieve, how much I envied him. Especially, when I saw my own door. I knew it was stupid and dangerous but it lured me, more than anything in this world. I decided to open the door, I had nothing to lose, Amy would be saved by Rory he knew that for sure and himself…well, he wanted peace and peace was real only with..her.

- Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. – the Doctor heard in his head.

The Doctor opened his "11" door. He saw a very familiar TARDIS-room, on the other side of the wall he could see the gaping crack, the one that is chasing after him in this life and right in front of it, the Doctor saw…Rose in the glory of a Bad Wolf power, he was drowned to her, he feared her, he loved her and he believed in her.

- Of course. – the Doctor said a bit bitterly - Who else? – no one else in the Universe held such power over him, not only in the Bad Wolf way, but in every other possible. She was his weakness and his strengths, he knew she's been watching his life, able to change anything in one breath, but he believed in her and he knew she never would.

He was so much like Amy. His fear and faith were connected in the most obvious way. They both believed in someone who influenced their lives the most and who held a power over them and they both feared that they would be forgotten.

The Doctor shut the door gently, he put the Do Not Disturb notice on it. He wanted to protect that room, so no one could see what he was really afraid of.

But still there was a job to do. Even though his and Amy's faiths were alike in many ways, her had a big flaw – him. In order to save her, he had to tell the truth about himself, that he is not a hero. That he took her life away because he is selfish and lonely and the worst part, that he knew that it would happen, because that's what always happens. It would be easy to break her faith in him. That was their only chance to get out of here, they had to weaken the creature. It would be impossible to break his own faith, he believed in Rose and nothing could be more perfect for him than this.

After getting out of that prison, they came to some sort of control room. In fact, the Doctor pitied the creature, he understood it. They were very alike, they both used other people's energy to keep themselves alive and they both wanted to stop but they didn't know how.

The Doctor flinched a bit. He now was thinking about the way Amy looked at him after he broke her faith. It's like she just woke up from the dream she had when she was 7, and now she saw the reality, she accepted it, but it wasn't as shiny and magical as she thought it was.

- What is it, a minotaur or an alien? – Amy finally asked - Or an alien minotaur? That's not a question I thought I'd be asking this morning. – she was trying to lighten the mood. But we both felt that something broke between us forever.

- It's both, actually. – figures and words appeared on the screen - Yeah. Here we go. Distant cousin of the Nimon. They descend on planets and set themselves up as gods to be worshipped. Which is fine, until the inhabitants get all secular and advanced enough to build bonkers prisons.

- Correction. Prisons in space. – Rory remarked

He and Gibbis were looking down through a porthole. There were different planets down there.

- Where are the guards? – Amy looked around.

- No need for any. It's all automated. It drifts through space, snatching people with belief systems and converts their faith into food for the creature. – the Doctor said. He heard Gibbs talking:

- See that planet there?

- Which one? – Rory as always was trying to be polite, even with someone like Gibbs

- There. The grey one there.

- Mmm hmm.

- That's where I'm from.

Than Amy became her usual self. And Amelia Pond…No, the Doctor thought, I have to stop thinking about her like that, she is a grown, married woman, Amelia Williams.

-It didn't want just me – Amy said - so you must believe in some God or someone, or they'd have shown you the door too. – she paused for a moment - So what do Time Lords pray to?

- According to the in-flight recorder, the programme developed glitches. – I couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes, but I couldn't talk to her. I just couldn't, I wanted Rose to be as private as possible, Amy already knew way too much. So I did was I best at, gibbering - It got stuck on the same setting, the fears from the people before us weren't tidied away.

The heard The Minotaur's growl.

- What's it saying? – Amy asked

- An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent, drifting in space through an endless, shifting maze. For such a creature, death would be a gift. – he came close to the creature and closed its eyes. How the Doctor wished to join him, that someone he loved was holding his hand while he was leaving this world for good. - Then accept it, and sleep well. – the creature growled and even though I knew it was a lie, I had to at least try to persuade myself - I wasn't talking about myself.

With that The Minotaur died.

The door of the Pond's room opened and it was if I woke up, I was snapped back to reality. I already bought a house and a car for them, I hope it would be enough "thank you and be safe" gift for them. Now was a hard part, saying goodbye. Oh, I am rubbish at this, even my Tenth-most-human-of-all-of-us was rubbish at saying goodbye! And I was much worse. But I had to. They needed to be safe. We landed in London.

- Don't tell me. This isn't Earth, that isn't a real house. – Amy tries to joke, I really try to smile back but everything burns within me - And inside lives a goblin, who feeds on indecision.

- No. Real Earth, real house, real door keys. – he gives keys to Rory

- You're not serious? - Amy was looking at him in disbelieve. But, she thought, after today's adventure she should have expected this.

- The car too? – Rory of course didn't understood what the Doctor was really doing - But, that's my favourite car. How did you know that was my favourite car?

- You showed me a picture of it once and said this is my favourite car.

- Rory, can you give us two minutes? – Amy asked - Two minutes?

- She'll say that we can't accept it because it's too extravagant and we'll always feel a crippling sense of obligation. – he looked back to the car and brightened - It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Rory ran into the house, he was curious and excited. After all it's all Rory ever wanted. He wanted to have a family and to share a house with the woman he loved.

- Hey.

The Doctor leaned against the long red bonnet with Amy.

- So. You're leaving, aren't you? -Amy asked quietly

- You haven't seen the last of me. – finally, he was sincere with her. No games, just the truth. - Bad Penny is my middle name. Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form, it's…

- Why now? - she was having none of his so-called jokes.

The Doctor looked at Amy, he tried not to cry. It was so damned hard to let Amy go! She was his friend, his family, his fairytale Amelia! The first face this face saw.

-Because you're still breathing.

-Well, I think this is about the washing up, personally. – Amy was trying to be a grown up. She really did, but her Doctor was leaving her, her raggedy Doctor.

- I mean, you're right, there's still heaps of stuff out there to look at. Do you know, there's a planet whose name literally translates as Volatile Circus? – the Doctor said and then nodded to the house - Or maybe there's a bigger, scarier adventure waiting for you in there?

Amy looked at her house, it was a bit hard to imagine her living here, like a normal human without all of time and space and this mad man.

- Even so, it can't happen like this. – she finally said - After everything we've been through, Doctor. Everything. You can't just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we've shared a cab.

The Doctor looked into his dear friend's eyes.

- And what's the alternative? – he asked brokenly - Me standing over your grave? Over your broken body? Over Rory's body?

Amy understood that all, but it was still so impossibly hard for her to let of her Doctor, her childhood.

- If you bump into my daughter, - she finally said - tell her to visit her old mum sometime.

The Doctor smiled sadly.

-And look after him. – he waved at Rory. He was trying really hard to keep it together.

- Look after you.- she kissed him in his forehead - Bye.

The Doctor went into the TARDIS quickly, and it dematerialises. Rory came to Amy with champagne and three glasses.

- What happened? – he asked. Won't they celebrate a new house? The Doctor still was a family! - What's he doing?

Amy looked at her beloved husband and then on the spot where the TARDIS was a second ago.

-He's saving us.

They headed to their house, where a brand new journey will start for them.


	7. Gods and Weddings

The TARDIS was floating in the silent depth of the space. Its only inhabitant was mumbling something under his nose, while he was trying to figure out the writing he found. It was strange, outrageously strange for him not to understand some stupid language! He could speak pretty much everything, he had the TARDIS translator but still he didn't understand a word. Whoever coded this message was really clever and really didn't want him to understand it.

Finally giving up, the Doctor fell heavily on the armchair. He gave up. Whatever that is, he can't crack it. He sighed and looked around. He was sitting in his big laboratory for weeks now, trying to crack the code he found on the Bluevan asteroid, this was the place where he last could find some trace of the Silence. This lot was good! It's like they predicted his every step and knew exactly where he is going to be. He haven't met such a complicated enemy in a very long time! And yeah, there was something behind all this, some bigger picture as Rose said.

He flinched at the thought. He didn't want to think about her or anyone, as the matter of fact. It was almost a century since he dropped the Ponds off and he didn't wait for someone new to appear in his life, thanks. Only one-time companions, only one-time friends. That's it. No more permanent companions. He made this decision after he lost Donna, and he would have sticked to it if it wasn't for one little redhead and a crack on her wall. As for Rose…He felt abandoned. He knew it wasn't fair and he knew that she never promised to visit him frequently and yeah he knew that for her a hundred years was a glimpse, but still he couldn't help it. After their emotional goodbye, he at least hoped she would visit him after the Ponds. But I guess, the Doctor thought, it wasn't that much a big event in my life, I've lost dozens of companions over the years.

During this last century he mostly tried to gather as much information as he could on Silencio lake where he had to, well, die. He was trying to find a way of cheating the fix point and he was running, faster than he did ever before, not taking into account the Time War and everything related of course, nothing would ever compare to that. The Doctor stretched. He needed to take a snack. Plus, he was really tired of all this mysteries and stuff. He did get into trouble now and then course, he even visited Jack's stag party once and was thinking to visit Rose, maybe to help her with hometask, he shacked his head. Stop it, you old idiot! That was exactly was what Rose warned him about, that if he knew she was somewhere nearby, he would constantly think of her, waiting for her. He had to take a grip. Even if she'll ever visit him, it won't be long! He had to keep in mind that Rose was gone and this echoes of the Bad Wolf was her last act of kindness, her last gift.

The Doctor stood up and went to the kitchen; he looked young and old, all at the same time. He was wearing his professor-trousers and a shirt, he didn't bother to put on a jacket or his cool bow-tie. No one cares anyway, and he is not sure when he'll feel like landing somewhere. His steps echoed lonely in the endless corridors of the best ship in the Universe. He tried really hard not to think about merry times with Amy and Rory, Jo and Sarah Jane, how Ian and Donna always stood up against his foolishness, how he fought with Brigadier and Peri, how he felt when Rose embraced him…

-Jesus Christ! – the Doctor yelled as he entered the kitchen and almost fell off his feet.

The young blonde smiled at this.

-Jesus Christ? Seriously? Never saw you as a religious type – she laughed.

The Bad Wolf Rose was sitting on the table in the TARDIS's kitchen. She knew the Doctor would want a snack and decided to surprise him, Rose was wearing jeans and a pink t-shirt, her hair was blonde and loose in a simple hairstyle. She could be easily mistaken for an ordinary shop-girl if it wasn't for her eyes which glowed with the ageless power of a Bad Wolf now and then.

-Sorry – the Doctor said – You just took me by surprise, plus it's not like I've been really communicative lately.

Rose jumped off the table and came closer to the Doctor. She knew he was lonely this years and she knew he expected her to visit after saying goodbye to Amy and Rory, but she couldn't come, besides the fact that she wasn't the part of his life anymore there were far more complicated reasons for that. Rose took his hand and looked him in the eyes.

-Doctor, I know you've been waiting for me after the Minotaur business but I couldn't come, I did warn you about this, didn't I?

-Right to the point? – the Doctor smiled sadly – I know it was stupid of me waiting for you, I know you are not really here and all, it's just a tough time for me.

-I know. – Rose said gently – and I know how much you miss Amy and Rory - she was trying really hard not to think of the day when they really disappear from his life forever. – But it's not that I couldn't come because of the moral reasons, I literally couldn't.

-What? – the Doctor exclaimed in surprise - Why not? I thought in this form you are omnipoint and, you know, almighty.

-I am – she agreed – But you are far more complicated than any other creature in this universe…

-I hope it's a compliment – he interrupted with a chuckle.

-Weeell –Rose said a bit unsure –it's defiantly your personal signature…

-Oi!

She laughed and he put her hand on his chest.

-Anyway, what I meant that it's hard to choose the right time and place to reveal myself, especially for this incarnation. You've surrounded by so many paradoxes that I've lost a count. It wasn't safe for me to appear earlier without damaging timeliness and all….other things.

-Other things?- the Doctor quirked his brows

-Yep, but as your future wife likes to say "Spoilers". – the Doctor darkened – Sorry, I didn't mean to..well, you know, step on the wound.

-No, it's fine. – the Doctor said. They sat at the table still holding hands; the Doctor started playing with Rose's fingers and didn't look up. - I already know that she either has to marry me or murder me, or both.

- Oh, my Doctor –Rose sighed – Only you could have been dragged into something like this.

-Yeah – he smiled. – I mean I know that nothing of this is River's fault and she was just as dragged into this game as I was, it's just all those thing she said…I don't know how to react to them. I mean I saw her, what? 6 times, with years of gaps between them? I didn't even bumped into her during this century! And every time we meet, she proclaims her eternal love to me! It's not fair, I don't have a choice in this situation at all and I don't love her and I certainly don't wanna marry her! – it was like the Doctor couldn't control his words, he just put out everything that was bothering him in this situation. He wasn't a marrying kind and he didn't like the idea of owing someone a relationship, even if it were the child of his best friends. And then he looked at Rose and hit him to whom he just told all those things! How could be so stupid?!

-Rose, I am sorry – he started quickly – I didn't mean to whine, especially not to you and especially not about this, it's just – he sighed – You know me, you really know me. Not only in your super-power way, but you've lived a whole life with me and even before, I've never opened up to someone, like I did to you.

-Doctor, its fine. I'm glad you can tell me anything, even this. And I am not jealous or anything like this. – she smiled – Those emotions are left in my human life, it's ok that you have someone, even as human I never wanted you to be alone and miserable, even if you think that you were dragged into it. At least you have someone to take care.

The Doctor was so moved by this. Of course as Bad Wolf she could see into his past and his future and she really understood this sort of things, but he was glad to hear that even as human she wished him only the best. Not that he didn't know it, it was just nice to hear it from her, it was like they could discuss anything in the world, at least their past and feelings. Future was still a dangerous domain.

-I assume he did tell you our name and the danger of it? – the Doctor broke the silence

-Yes, he did. – Rose nodded – That's how I found that he married me without my consent. I kicked him in the guts when I found out what actually happened, when he uttered those words into my ear.

-What? Kicked him in the…? Why would you do that for? – the Doctor was whining, much like his Tenth self did.

-Of course I did! – Rose exclaimed – He didn't explain me what was going on, he just grabbed my hand while we were running from another alien, than behind the corner he whispered me your name and snogged me! And then after a moment he proclaimed that we are married! He didn't even ask me!

-Wouldn't you say "yes" anywhere? – the Doctor asked in confusion. – I bet he was just trying to be romantic with you.

Or, God, Rose thought, we had exactly the same conversation with his human-self, back in Pete's world. He was still so dumb, when it came to relationships.

-Of course I would have said "yes"! But that's beside the point, I am not his or yours, for that matter, property, he had to ask me. What if I would have liked to wait? Or I would have wanted to have a proper, human wedding with my parents and friends. Or a wedding on some planet, or no wedding at all! It wasn't right. So he had to beg for forgiveness and go through a grand wedding 200-guests-ceremony planned by my _mom_, and only after that we got our honeymoon. – Rose winked.

Somehow, the Doctor didn't feel jealous too. He still envied his human self, but seeing that Rose's and his life was so happy and full made him feel…free somehow. He loved her enough to be her happy, because she was happy.

-You know, Rose Tyler, I didn't know you had that in you! But I bet it was worth waiting – he bit his tongue quickly. What the hell are you on about? Do you really want to discuss Rose's and Metacrisis's sex life?

Rose laughed brightly

-Oh, yeah it was – she smiled with her tongue-teeth smile and he shifted uncomfortably, suddenly this place became a bit hotter.

Rose continued to grin at his sudden embarrassment, he was so cute when it comes to intimate stuff!

-OK, fine, I brought this onto myself! – the Doctor squeaked – But I really don't want to discuss that part of your and his life. I may trying to behave like and an adult and be happy for you, but it's still you!

-Fine, fine we'll leave this subject. – after a moment she asked – What are we gonna do? I still have some time. – on his frightened expression, Rose rolled her eyes – I didn't mean that, Doctor! Good God, you act like a teenager!

The Doctor felt daft. Again. Was he really that shy? He was thousands years old, for Rassilon's sake! But then again, it was Rose in front of him and Rose and sex was…wow, no, he won't allow his thoughts to go into that part, too tempting.

-Besides – Rose added – I don't sleep with married guys, so let's think of something else.

-I am not married yet. – he mumbled

-Doctor, do you really want to go into this? Can you take a hint and just take me somewhere nice? On some sunny beach or sugar-made planet?

-Yes, of course! I know exactly the perfect place!

The Doctor jumped to his feet. She was giving him the way out of the trap he put himself into and he was grateful. They rushed quickly to the console room, oh how he missed this shiny room! He had a perfect place in his mind. He reserved that place long time ago, when he saw her running to him at that dark street, too bad he didn't have a chance. Maybe his other self did, he wondered. Even if he did, it didn't matter. This him didn't get a chance to take her there, so now he was going to use it.

Rose was looking at him and trying not to laugh, he was like a little boy who was caught in mischief, his hair were disheveled and his cheeks were burning, she thought he looked beautiful , but again, he always was perfect to her.

They both knew that Bad Wolf could take them anywhere and anywhen in time and space and she would do it perfectly unlike the Doctor's Type 40 TARDIS. But they both wanted for the sake of all times to enjoy the ride in the old girl and to be brought where she decided not where they planned.

But this time the TARDIS agreed with her beautiful idiot, or maybe she was influenced by the presence of her beloved ex-human, with who she shared mind and soul. Whatever the reason, the TARDIS landed perfectly. The Doctor grabbed his tweed jacket and then turned to Rose quickly.

-I should warn you, it's really cold out there, it'll be fine for me but…

Rose closed her eyes for a moment, she glowed and a warm brown coat appeared on her.

-See? – she smiled – Not that I need it, I mean I am part of the vortex, but I do like playing dressing up.

-That you always did –the Doctor smiled and clapped his hands– Now! No picking and I mean no Bad Wolf picking! I want to surprise you, so please close your eyes.

-OK – she felt the Doctor took her hand and opened the TARDIS's door. It was cold for human here but she felt perfectly comfortable. Rose felt the snow on her cheeks and heard a silent music of the wind and then she guessed where they came:

-Wait a minute – she smiled, while the Doctor closed the door – I think I know where you brought me, you crafty man!

Rose opened her eyes and gasped. Her guess was right, the Doctor brought her to the Woman Wept.

The Doctor on his part was beaming happily it was so nice to bring her here, she looked at the frozen kingdom with the same expression she had when he brought her here for the very first time. He never brought or never will bring anyone here again. That was their place, it belonged only to them.

Rose slowly walked to a frozen wave and touched it with her fingerprints, they landed just in the middle of the sea which was forever frozen during the raging storm. It was breathtakingly beautiful. After everything she saw and did, it was so nice to be surprised by such a majestic beauty.

The Doctor was mesmerized, he was watching like his Rose was walking in the heart of a frozen storm and nothing could compare to this. He approached her silently and took her hand again. She looked at him and smiled genuinely and lovingly. With that they started their many-hours walk. They talked non-stop, about everything and nothing, reliving their adventures; she shared some stories of their Pete's world life, he told her about his fears concerning the Silence, they talked and talked and talked. As if they were trying to make up for every stolen moment. And nothing in the world could disturb them.

It was five and a half hours later when they came back, laughing hysterically remembering when Jack was trying to distract a hospital staff by his usual naked manner. The made a huge leap and now came back to the TARDIS. Breathless from laughter and freezing air, they stood in silence for a moment leaning on the police box.

When Rose reveals herself to the mortals' world, the laws of physics work on her too. Not so heavily like on the rest of the world but still worked, she was feeling a bit tired but completely happy and satisfied. But she also knew that their date was over. She needs to get going and the Doctor needs to resume his journey.

She turned her face to his and saw him smiling. He didn't feel so good in years!

-I have to go, Doctor. – and there it is. His smile faded. Just he thought he was happy and bang! The time is up. He was trying really hard not to smash his fist into the icy wave.

-If it's easier for you I won't come anymore, I know it must be hard for you...-Rose trailed off.

-No – the Doctor said firmly – I mean, yes, letting you go is not easy, but it's worth it. I've wasted so much time trying not to get too close to you in order not to be hurt in the end and it didn't mean one bit when I lost you, I still felt like falling into the black hole. And now that you here and it's a miracle, frankly speaking. – he swallowed – I want to gather as much memories of you as its possible. And please don't ask me about this again, because the answer is always the same : I'll be always happy to see you.

Rose felt a lump in her throat. He was so open with her, just like he was when he was human. She guessed he was always like this, when unafraid.

-OK, I won't bring that up anymore. But I still have to go now. You have a message to crack, a world to save.

-Will you come before my death? – the Doctor asked in despaired voice. He wanted to know how many times he'll see her again before his last journey.

Rose smiled at this, well she could hint a bit.

-Who told you that this would be your death, Doctor? Just because someone said that it's not necessary true.

-But…-the Doctor started. Were there a chance for him?

-Think outside the box, Doctor, I mean literally. Go on adventures, meet some old friends, visit Amy and Rory, Ian and Barbara! Don't think about the future for awhile. Get a new companion, be your usual self – she started to glow – that will help you crack the message and gain hope.

With that Rose disappeared into nothingness.

The Doctor couldn't believe it. Was she serious? There was a real chanced for him to survive this, to cheat a fixed point? Maybe he should visit someone, he was living alone way too long and forgot that not all riddles can be solved by logic. He decided to say hello to Craig.


	8. Between Angels and Bells

WARNING! ADULT THEMES AND ACTIONS!

* * *

The darkness. I am surrounded by it, it consumes me and posses my very soul and nothing can save me. Three years ago my life was over. I don't leave my ship anymore, I didn't put a figure out of my box. I can easily outlive my remaining days here and the best of all, no one will get hurt because I am around. It's been exactly three years since I've lost my family. All of it, in two days. First, my Amelia, my glorious Pond and her husband, was taken away from me by Weeping Angels. They are dead now, I can never visit them, or see them or even send a letter to them…A letter.

The Doctor still had Amelia's last farewell letter which he found in that detective book. He did one thing she asked him to do, he came back to her child-self and told her a magical story. When little Amelia fell asleep, the Doctor left for good. For three years he could still hear her last words to him: "Raggedy man, goodbye". The Doctor flinched, he knew he was brooding, but he didn't care. He doesn't care much about anything right now. The Universe showed again no mercy towards him, it took everything away, his people, his friends, the love of his life, his equal friend he shared a burden of other people's plots with.

After standing over Rory and Amy's grave, after reading that letter, the Universe threw him another loss. The next day, the latest version of River came to him in the green-golden dress and said that it was time to take her to the Singing Towers. To tell that he was crashed, is to tell nothing at all. His last threat to Amy, his wife and dear friend, his always understanding River, was going to her death soon and ultimately become his past.

He didn't fall in love with her, not even after they got married in that aborted timeline, but he cared deeply for her, he regretted and pitied her life which was ruined simply by the fact that her parents was his friends. And now she was gone too. He sometimes was thinking of Martha's words to Donna, about that he was like fire, that people who got close to him got hurt. Well, all three Ponds paid an ultimate price for being his family. And Brian…Poor Brian, the Doctor couldn't bring himself to come and visit him, to say how sorry he is. He was a coward, he wouldn't bare the accusing even hateful look on Brian's face. He ruined the whole family's lives. He whipped his eyes and stood up from his chair.

Enough of self-hatred today. After these two terrible losses the Doctor landed in the Victorian London and disguised his TARDIS in the clouds, so no one could disturb his limbo. Somehow, the TARDIS chose to land next to someone he knew in this life, specifically Jenny, Vastra and Strax. First he didn't even opened the door for them, even when they were banging in it for hours. After sometimes he let them in, they showed no judgment, no resent, they just were kind and he was grateful for that. Jenny was trying to get him to eat and eventually he gave up. Now, every week they visit and bring him food and news from the outside world. He had unending supplies in the TARDIS, but it was nice that someone cared for him enough to bring him different dishes. They tried to persuade him to go on adventure or at least out of the TARDIS for a walk, but he refused. He doesn't want to leave this place. He detested the Universe right now and he had no obligations in saving it or helping anyone. It took away too much from him.

The Doctor decided that he'll stay here, on this cloud, until he'll outlive his last regeneration and that's it, he'll find peace finally and no one will get hurt because of him, he even liked his self-made prison.

Besides everything the Doctor still had one problem. Although he promised Rose that he won't wait for her, he couldn't help it. He persuaded himself again and again that she is not his personal guardian angel, that she can't appear every time something bad happens. Plus, the way he handled his death and marriage…Woow, that must have created another dozens of paradoxes. And then New York paradox. It's very likely that Rose just can't get through all this without burning half of the Universe, she won't take that risk. He knew that better than anyone, but he still wanted to see her. He wanted to talk to her, because she would understand and bring at least some comfort to his soul.

The Doctor came in his room. He was wearing some old pants and a t-shirt he wasn't sure he had until this morning. He slept more frequently now, perhaps because of constant emotional exhaustion, perhaps because of his age, he didn't care much why. He fell into the restless sleep.

After two or three hours of nightmares the Doctor woke up. But he didn't wake up because of terrible dreams, he got used to them, he even craved them, they reminded him that he was still alive. No, he was woken up by someone's gentle touch. Someone was stocking his hair gently and whispered something soothing into his ear, he felt so warm and good for a moment and then he opened his eyes.

He saw big golden-brown eyes looking at him with such a painful compassion, her long blonde hair was curly and she was wearing a long blue dress, when he opened his eyes Rose smiled at him and then he broke. He hugged her fiercely and started to sob like a wounded animal, he was so, so tired and crashed he just needed to get at least some of this off, he shacked violently in her warm embrace, Rose didn't flinch or moved, she just hugged him even more tightly and tired to tell him that everything is going to be all right, that there is still hope for him, her heart was breaking for his pain, she wished she could change the past and bring everything back, but the Universe has to move forward and she obeyed this law.

After hours of lament the Doctor finally started to calm down, he didn't have to say anything or explain anything to her, she understood that it wasn't only because of Amy and Rory, it was years, centuries of suppressed emotions and pain and now it came out. They were lying in silence, his head on her soft breasts, her chin was resting on the top of his head and he clang to her as if she was the only thing that was keeping him sane. Rose kissed his forehead and he drifted off to sleep.

-Morning, sunshine. – Rose said with a smile.

The Doctor turned quickly. She was still here, in his room. He thought that maybe he dreamt last night, but no, she was half-sitting on the sofa and reading a book.

-Morning – he smiled back, it felt so unnatural to him, it was like his muscles forgot he could smile.

Neither of them wanted to bring last night's incident, Rose knew that he wouldn't want to discuss that moment of weakness, which she didn't consider as weakness. Everybody has limits, even the Doctor. And the Doctor…well, he was the Doctor.

-I didn't expect you stay for the whole night – he said. – Thought I dreamed you up.

Rose put the book out and came close to the Doctor. She hugged him and he crashed her as close as possible to himself.

-I'm sorry about last night – he said into her neck

-No – she freed himself a bit to be able to look into his eyes – Don't be. You have all the rights in the world to be angry and hurt. It's a normal reaction – she smiled a little – it's a wonder you can hold up this good most of the time.

-Thank you for coming here. It was… - the Doctor sighed heavily

-I know, my Doctor – Rose took his face in her hands. – But you have to live on, you can't throw your life like that. And I'm speaking to you as your friend, not as the Bad Wolf.

-I can't – the Doctor closed his eyes. Rose pressed his forehead to hers, his hands were resting on her waist. He felt like home and he didn't want to go into the outside world.

-My poor Doctor. – Rose felt tears in her eyes. He was so vulnerable right now, she could see his torment soul, he didn't realize what beauty and strength she actually saw in him, every him. She did something, she never expected to do. She kissed him.

The Doctor's eyes snapped open. He felt soft Rose's lips on his and didn't know what to do. He hesitated for a second and kissed her back. Screw it, he thought, for once I won't think about consequences, at least once I'll give in and do what I _want _not what is _right_. His kiss became more fierce and passionate and then Rose parted her lips. The Doctor felt the heat running through his veins. He moaned blissfully when he felt Rose's tongue exploring his mouth. He decided that he wanted more and he started to kiss he neck, leaving marks on her gentle skin, Rose moaned and he felt that his length was getting hard.

Rose didn't expect that her innocent kiss will transform into something more, but she didn't care. She loved him and she wanted this, she remembered how good it felt when they made love in Pete's world and she wouldn't miss such an opportunity now, even though her senses changed all she could think right now was the heat between them and the way his hand was touching her breast.

The Doctor got back to her lips and kissed her hard. He wanted to make up for every missed day he wasn't kissing her, he wanted to feel something besides gaping hole in his chest and this was the best cure he would ever find. He felt Rose's hand on his stomach she touched him lightly and than her hand went lower to his very hard member. He growled onto her mouth and they rushed on his king-sized bed, never breaking the kiss.

Rose started to put her dress down; the Doctor helped her and took of his own shirt. Rose now was lying gloriously naked in front of him. The Doctor felt nervous, his confidence vanished into nothingness. He wasn't intimate with anyone in a very, very, very! long time, plus it was Rose, not another queen. Rose noticed his uneasiness and smiled at him reassuringly, she started to unfasten his belt

-Don't – the Doctor said huskily. He didn't have much of a self-control left and if she would touch his exposed length he wouldn't be able…to finish business properly. He took of his pants and lied down on the top of her. He touched her face gently, he could feel every curve of her body and then she said something that made him the happiest person in the world, at least for tonight

-I love you, Doctor.

He couldn't control himself anymore, he kissed her with all the passion he held and they made love.


	9. Big Scary World

The TARDIS was humming quietly as if she was a mother singing to her child. She knew what was coming and she knew that her Bad Wolf felt it to, but she wanted that her two beloved children didn't think about the future. She wanted them to spend this time in happiness and joy and she knew that only the Bad Wolf would bring her Beautiful Idiot out of his misery.

The named idiot wasn't asleep, in fact he woke up an hour ago, but he didn't feel like getting up, plus he was busy. He was very, very busy starring at a certain blonde who slept next to him. This night was…wow. Just wow. He didn't feel so alive in many, many years. The things they did…He didn't think that it was even physically possible! They were both tougher than humans and didn't need much time for rest, so…well, let's just say they were in the TARDIS and the TARDIS-night could last for God knows how long. He laughed silently. No wonder that humans were such a cheerful race. He couldn't take his eyes out of Rose, she was so peaceful and beautiful. She slept on her chest and the Doctor caressed her bare back gently.

-You're staring at me – Rose suddenly mumbled, getting him out of romantic thoughts

-When did you wake up? – his voice was full of amusement

-Awhile now – Rose opened her eyes and smiled at him

The Doctor nuzzled closely to her, his nose was almost touching hers.

-You know, it's not fair, you could have give me a sign or something , I didn't want to disturb you.

-Yeah, but it was so nice, just lying here under the sheets, and you've been so sweet – she lay on the top of him and kissed him gently – Plus, it's been awhile since I've actually slept, so I decided to enjoy every minute of it.

-Do you even need sleep? – the Doctor asked huskily, while Rose was gently kissing his neck

-Not, really – she answered into his chest – But, it doesn't mean I can't if I want to.

The Doctor's very big mind stopped functioning as her head was getting lower, and lower and lower.

* * *

After sometime the couple of very giggling and very happy creatures got to the TARDIS kitchen. Rose was wearing his last-morning t-shirt and panties, her last night dress disappeared somewhere, but she didn't care she'll create another outfit for herself when she'll have to go. She put that though away, she knew she had to go eventually, but she didn't want to, just for a while. She'll leave him, like she always does, but now this part of his timeline wasn't that heavy and she could postpone her departure a bit.

The Doctor was ecstatic, while pouring some tea for them, he couldn't stop smiling, everything was good for once. The happiness that cocooned him now was like a balsam to his soul and he didn't want it to end. He knew that Rose has to leave eventually, but while she was here he is going to enjoy and cherish every moment of it.

The Doctor and Rose were drinking their tea when they heard a gentle knock. Someone was trying to get into the TARDIS.

-Oh, no. – the Doctor said

-What is it?

-It must be Sunday! – the Doctor quickly rushed to the console room. He forgot that he was wearing nothing but his panties.

-What's wrong with Sundays? – Rose laughed, she loved it when he said nonsense. Rose felt so human right now. It was like she got back to Pete's world and they were having a typical family morning. Her human Doctor always managed to find a trouble, even if there were none. She was looking at this Doctor and his not-so-new face. She didn't care for his face or his race, it didn't matter one bit. She saw the Doctor and that's was enough, the façade can't tell much anyway.

-Well, Sundays are ok, except they are boring! – the Doctor turned to her suddenly – It's just, my friends, Vastra, Jenny and Strax, they visit me every Earth Sunday to be sure that I'm…well alive I suppose.

-So it's great, just open the door and let them in, I promise, I won't bite – she smiled wolfishly and the Doctor remember what she is capable of with her teeth. He tried to clear his thoughts.

-No, it's not that! It just, well, they always come in and try to persuade me to go outside and they won't go away until you know, until I'll growl at them and they would leave – he said with a bit of embarrassment.

-You growl at them and they still try to put some sense in your head? – Rose sighed, he was still really daft –OK, here what's we are going to do. You'll open the door and say them that you are a bit busy today – she put her hands on his neck

-No problem with that, but they can be very persistent and I don't want to hurt their feelings.

-I wasn't done yet

-Oh

-You'll tell them that, but you'll promise that you'll visit them by yourself in say – she thought for a second – half an hour. It would be plenty of time for us to take a shower and get dressed.

-Rose, but…I don't – he tried to protest, but Rose had none of it

-Oi, mister! You just shagged a girl and a girl wants to have a romantic day afterwards, are you a gentleman or what? – she asked teasingly

-You know, that's so unfair! You blackmailed me! – the Doctor was trying really hard to pretend he was angry

-I am not denying it – she snogged him thoroughly and he could see stars for a moment - I'll wait for you in the shower.

Rose laughed and ran away quickly, leaving a blinking Doctor to the judgment of his friends. The Doctor opened the door and saw Jenny and Vastra's face fell off. Rose wasn't wearing any lipstick, was she?

-Doctor?– Madame Vastra asked

-Yeah, yeah, hello Madame, hello Jenny, sorry but I can't let you in now, I am sort of…busy.

-Naked busy? – asked Jenny

-What? – the Doctor looked down, damn it he forgot to put his pants on! And Rose didn't say a word, she is so going to pay for this! – Ah, yes naked. I am just doing…some exercises, you know to refresh body muscles. It's been awhile since I took a walk. Why don't you just leave for now and I'll visit you today? Hah?

-Visit us, but Doctor we've been trying…-Vastra pushed Jenny with her elbow. Whatever the reason for Doctor's change of the mood they would take that chance and if he wanted to visit them and get out of this box for just awhile it was a blessing. Maybe there was still hope for him.

-Of course, Doctor. We'll be delighted to see you today. What time can we expect you?

-I don't know, I'll just finish my..business here and I'll see you in an hour or so – Rose won't get out that easily for leaving him pantless.

-Wonderful, Doctor, will be waiting for you. – Vastra glanced down – But please, would you be so kind to dress properly, we wouldn't want to attract any unnecessary attention, would we?

-Yes, yes of course. See you in an hour. – the Doctor closed the door quickly. And ran to the shower yelling – ROSE TYLER, YOU ARE SO PAYING FOR THIS! – he could swear the TARDIS was laughing at him to.

After the mentioned hour the Doctor and Rose left the TARDIS. It was spring, so Rose created for herself a simple white Austen-style dress, her blonde hair was in a loose bun, she was stunningly beautiful, she looked like the sunlight itself. Her eyes were golden-brown as she tried really hard not to make them shine with her Bad Wolf power. The Doctor was dressed as any other gentleman from that time. He was very nervous going outside, he hasn't seen the sun in three years. Rose felt his tension, she took his hand and kissed him on cheek. The Doctor knew that with her by his side, he could survive anything.

They stepped down from the cloud, Rose laughed that only he could of something like that for a disguise. He offered his hand and they went through the streets, watching other people, laughing like teenagers. They looked like a newlywed couple.

They reached a big and rich-looking Victorian house. The Doctor knocked the door and Jenny opened it immediately, wearing her usual servant gown. It was a clever disguise for both her and Vastra as a married alien-lesbian couple wouldn't be much appreciated these days.

-Hello, Doctor and…

-Ah, this Rose Tyler, my friend. – he smiled warmly at her.

-It's a pleasure to meet you, the Doctor told me a lot about you and your family. – Rose shook Jenny's hand. She didn't care what time period it was, she did what she liked, etiquette was nothing but a glimpse for her.

Jenny let them in, trying not to show any surprise or curiosity towards this Doctor's friend. She certainly wasn't from this time, but then it was the Doctor, mysteries was his domain.

Madame Vastra was expecting them in the big garden. The table was already served for four people: the Doctor, Vastra, Jenny and Strax. The garden was beautiful, large blooming trees was hiding the backyard from the outside world, so Vastra could take her veil off and enjoy spring. Nearby they had a small pond, Vastra herself planted a few lilies there from her homeworld, they were bright yellow.

When the Doctor and his mysterious companion entered Vastra didn't even flinch when she saw Jenny's big eyes:

-Jenny would you be so kind to add another set? As I can see we have another guest – she said politely

-Yes, ma'm – Jenny said quickly and disappeared in the hall

-Madame Vastra, let me introduce you to my dear friend, Rose Tyler. Rose this is Madame Vastra.

-It's a pleasure to meet you, miss Tyler, the Doctor's friend is our friend. Please – she gestured to the table. –Have a sit. Jenny will join us in a minute and Strax promised he'll be here after another fight in the pub. – Vastra addressed to Rose – he has a bit of a temper.

-Basically he is a Sontartan – the Doctor said

-A Sontaran, really? –Rose asked in surprise – And you managed to befriend a Sontaran, I just have to see that.

-Oh, so you've met Sontarans then – asked Vastra as Jenny entered the room with a tray. Now they had four people and one extra set for Strax.

-Yes, well, I've met a lot of different races during my travels and then, let's say afterwards – said Rose, while sipping her tea.

-You are traveler then, like the Doctor? – asked Jenny

The Doctor laughed. Jenny and Vastra looked at him with amusement. The Doctor actually laughed! Whoever this Rose was, she defiantly had a good influence on him.

-Not, really – Rose answered with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes – I am more of an observer, while Doctor is a trouble.

-Oi! I am not a trouble! – he protested quickly

-Yeah, right and I am Jack Harkness – Rose said sarcastically

-You and your cheek – said the Doctor lovingly, he took her hand and squeezed it under the table. He didn't care what Vastra and Jenny might think of it, he'll leave them to their own guesses. After all it's still would be hard to explain the relationship he had with Rose.

Jenny tried to hide her smile, whoever she was, the Doctor certainly cared for her, and cared not in a companion way, this was love. Suddenly the flash of the light appeared.

-Sorry, peasants. I had to finish my enemy before I could join this pointless meal! – roared a Sontaran.

-Strax, meet our guest. This is the Doctor's friend, miss Rose Tyler.

-Good day, yellow boy! – he saluted Rose. The Doctor rolled his eyes. Will Strax ever be able behave normally?

- Good day, Strax. – said Rose smiling – Although I would appreciate if you called me just Rose.

-Rose –said Strax – isn't that a plant of this pathetic planet?

-It is, Strax – said Jenny quickly – But it also a name.

-Hmm - he said doubtfully – Strange name if you ask me, but this place is full of strange things! I am hungry, where is my food?

-Have a sit, Strax we have plenty.

The little gang was having a dinner and generally having a good time. They spoke about some of the Rose's and Doctor's travels. But nothing specific. Strax shared a few war stories. After desert, the Doctor and Strax was arguing about something near the pond, Jenny left to the kitchen to fetch some more tea and Vastra and Rose was sitting quietly. Vastra had so many questions, but she knew that she has no right to ask anything.

-He seemed to get better – she said suddenly , even for her it was a surprise

-Yeah, I guess so. – Rose answered sadly – But it's just a façade. He still has a long road ahead of him. – she looked at Vastra and Madame saw something ageless in the look of a young blonde, something she could see every time she looked in the Doctor's eyes. – Don't give up on him, Vastra. I know how stubborn he can be, but he has to go back to the stars, it's where he belongs.

- Can't you persuade him? – Vastra asked a bit harshly – What I mean, we've been trying to get him out of the house for years and you managed it…in far briefly time

Rose looked at the Doctor

-Yeah, but it was only first step. The rest is on you. He is happy and dandy today, but he won't be like this forever. He lost too much, me being here just covered the pain and cured some of it, but it won't be gone in one day, he hadn't accepted yet what happened, not really.

-But you can help us, can't you? He seems to listen to you.

-I already helped as much as I could – Rose shacked her head. – Plus, I'll be gone this evening.

-What do you mean gone? –asked Vastra with a concern

-I don't belong here, not in this time, not in this world even. And the Doctor knows it. I just came for a visit, then I'll have to go.

Vastra looked at the talking Doctor and Strax. So this girl will disappear soon. And the Doctor will close himself up again. She sighed.

-I'll make him promise me that he'll go outside the TARDIS – said Rose, as if she read Vastra's thoughts. – But the rest, is up to you and his knew companion.

- What new companion?

-One day, I can't tell which one, someone will appear around you. And this someone will get him back to the stars. – Rose said mysteriously

-But, how would we even recognize this person?

-You'll ask her a question – answered Rose simply – And she'll answer "Pond".

With this completely insane words Rose headed to the Doctor.

-Oh, hello yello…I mean Rose. – said Strax – I was just trying to persuade this Doctor that Sontarans are the best worriers in the entire galaxy!

-I think the Doctor knows that, Strax. – Rose looked at the Doctor – Would you give us a moment please?I need to speak to the Doctor.

-Yes, boy! But I still will prove the might of Sontaran race! – Strax said proudly and headed for a cake Jenny just brought.

-What is it? – asked the Doctor – Do you have to go now?

-No, not now – he sighed in a relief when Rose continued – But I have to go soon, that is why, while I am here, I need you to promise me something.

His ageless eyes looked into her golden ones.

-Anything – he took his hand and pressed his lips to it. It was the truth, whatever she'll ask him, he'll do it. Even if he didn't want to.

-I need you to promise you that you won't close yourself in the TARDIS anymore. That you promise to go out, have fights with Strax, and maybe one day you'll get back there – she looked up in the sky.

-Wouldn't that be easier to ask me to do that right now? – he asked with irony

-It would, but I know you are not ready. You need time and a strong motive – she pressed her palm to his cheek. – I promise that you'll have both

-Thank you – he said emphatically – Not only for this, but you know, everything.

-You always welcome. Now, can we back to the TARDIS, before I have to go? – she said smiling

The Doctor turned to Jenny, Vastra and Strax immediately

-Gang! I'll see you later, I promise, but now I have to get back to the TARDIS to say goodbye to Rose, so see you soon. – the Doctor grabbed Rose's hand and they disappeared as if they wasn't here.

-Who was she? – asked Jenny

-I don't know – Vastra answered. – But whoever she was, she gave us all hope. Come on. Let's drink our tea.

* * *

Meanwhile in the TARDIS the Doctor couldn't stop kissing a certain Rose Tyler. She told him five minutes ago that she has to go now, but he was trying to postpone this moment at least for a bit. They already said goodbye in the Doctor's bedroom, now was time for the real one.

-Doctor, you'll have to let go me eventually

-I know – he said and then kissed her again. He wanted to remember every millimeter of her lips, he wanted her sent to surround him for as long as possible, preferably until their next date.

Rose freed herself gently. They pressed their foreheads and stood like that for what felt eternity.

-I love you, Rose - the Doctor said. He knew she was well aware of that, he knew that his human self told her that a million times, but for once he wanted to finish that damned sentence.

Rose smiled at him.

-I know, Doctor. I love you to. But I really need to go. – She kissed him one last time. – Don't give up hope, Doctor. Live a life and try to enjoy it. I'll visit you as soon as I can, I promise.

She stepped back and started to glow.

-Until next time, Rose Tyler.


	10. The Tomb of the Doctor

This chapter consist of well-known conversation in the Ghost room in the beginning if the Name of the Doctor with tiny addition. But there is an interesting, last dialogue between Rose and River.

Bad Wolf Rose was floating around, she could see them, but they couldn't see her. She watched as a lizard woman, her wife and their Sontaran friend gathered around the table. They were waiting for the latest Doctor's companion, Clara Oswald, the impossible girl. Although she is to become such, right now she was just a girl. Rose new why they were here, the message have finally been broken, but not by the greatest minds, but by a mad criminal, oh the irony of it. She had to speak to Melody, she had to help the Doctor through her again, because she herself has to be somewhere else, these two events were so close to each other, she couldn't miss her chance, so she had to wait until this is over and talk to the Melody Pond.

Clara drops from the sky

- So glad you could make it. – said Madame Vastra politely

- Where am I?

- Exactly where you were, but sleeping. – Jenny gently added

- Time travel has always been possible in dreams. We are awaiting only one more participant. – Rose listened carefully, they must be talking about River

- Oh, no. Not the one with the gigantic head? – Strax was as gentlemany as ever

- It's hair, Strax.

- Hair.

The puff of smoke appears and River-Melody appears

- Madame Vastra.

- Professor. Help yourself to some tea.

-Why, thank you. – Rose chuckled, Melody was unchangeable, even after death. Meanwhile Professor Song created a champagne for herself.

- How did you do that? - Jenny asked in awe

-Disgracefully. - Of course, Rose thought, Melody had plenty of time to learn how to live in such places.

- Ah. Perhaps you two haven't met. – Madame gestured to Clara - This is the Doctor's companion. That is, his current travelling assistant.

- Assistant? - Clara asked sarcastically, poor girl.

- Have you gone a darker green? – asked Strax

- Clara Oswald.

- Professor River Song. The Doctor might have mentioned me? – Oh Melody, Rose thought, you still have a hope. Your Doctor is even worse than my Doctor was, he won't mention you. Too painful, he had to go through hell to survive yours and Ponds deaths.

- Oh, yeah. – said Clara a bit cruelly, it's like herself and Sarah Jane all over again - Oh yeah, of course he has. Professor Song. Sorry, it's just I never realised you were a woman.

Melody was outrageous, she couldn't believe that the Doctor forgot about her so quickly, she knew he'll move on eventually, but not even mentioning her…how could he?

- Well, neither did I. – Strax was as graceful as ever

- Perhaps we should get down to the business at hand. – Vastra took Jenny's hand for reassurance and waved to the center of the table with another one.

- That might be good, dear, yes.

- Clarence DeMarco. – in the middle of the table someone's face appeared - Murderer, under sentence of death. He offered us this in exchange for his life.

- Space time coordinates. – said River. – I need to ask, Vastra, did you try contact Rose? – ok, that was weird, thought Rose , why would Melody want to see me?

-Yes, we did – said Vastra sadly- but I don't know what or who she is, let alone where she can be. We tried everything we knew, but nothing. And the Doctor refused to share how we can do that. Or maybe he doesn't know how.

-Who's Rose? – asked Clara. She felt uncomfortably, she thought she knew the Doctor and now there is River and some unknown Rose. How many secrets does he have?

-It doesn't matter, does it? – said Melody harshly - She is not here, so let's get to the point. – she looked at Malcolm again

- This, Mister DeMarco claims, is the location of the Doctor's greatest secret.

- Which is? –asked Clara

- We don't know. It's a secret. – said Jenny in the its-obvious tone. They should have a pity to the girl, she doesn't know him yet.

- The Doctor does not discuss his secrets with anyone, my dear. – said Vastra - If you're still entertaining the idea that you are an exception to this rule, ask yourself one question. What is his name?

Something invisible touches Jenny's cheek. I knew that Whisperman are already in their house, they should really hurry up.

- Well, I know it. – said River smugly.

- What, you know his name? He told you?

- I made him.

- How? – Clara wanted to know

- It took a while.

- So you're a friend of his, then?

- A little more than a friend, a long time ago. – said River with sadness

- He's still never contacted you? – Vastra asked with concern

- He doesn't like endings. – Yeah, he doesn't, but he has to face them anyway, I hope today, Melody, you'll get a proper good-bye, which he won't screw up. - So what else did this DeMarco tell you? He didn't just buy his life with some coordinates. How did he prove their value?

- One word, only. – said Vastra

- What word?

- A word I've heard in connection with the Doctor before. Trenzalore.

- How exactly did he describe what he was giving you? – River breathed nervously

- The Doctor has a secret, you know. – Malcolm in the center of the table started to talk - He has one he will take to the grave. And it is discovered.

- You misunderstood. – said River

-Ma'am, I'm sorry. I just realise I forgot to lock the doors. – said Jenny almost crying

- It doesn't matter, Jenny.- Vastra didn't listen, the same mistake - What misunderstanding? Tell me.

- No, ma'am, please. I should've locked up before we went into the trance.

- Jenny, it doesn't matter!

- Someone's broken in. Someone's with us. I can hear them.

- Jenny, are you all right? – Vastra finally looked at Jenny's face.

- Sorry, ma'am. So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. I think I've been murdered. – Jenny disappeared

- Jenny!

- What's happened to her? – asked Clara

- Jenny, can you hear me? – Melody yelled

- Speak to us, boy!

- Jenny!

- You're under attack. You must wake up now. Just wake up. Do it! – and Melody slapped Vastra for all she worth.

-You too, Strax. Wake up now! -River throws her champagne into his face. The terrible creatures, Whisper Men appeared next to Clara and River. At least they couldn't see me, Rose thought.

- Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor. – the creatures started to whisper

- Tell him what?

And here it is. The Great Intelligence, how can you call yourself the intelligence if you are so daft? In your revenge you are ready to kill billions of people and hundreds of worlds!

- His friends are lost forever more, unless he goes to Trenzalore.

-No! – Melody yelled - You can't say that. He can't go there. You know he can't.

The Whispermen, Clara and Great Intelligence disappeared. River looked around breathing heavily. She closed her eyes and then said.

-Come on, reveal yourself. I know you are here, I knew it the moment I asked about you.

-Really?- Rose asked, she appeared as always in the golden light, she was wearing the same clothes she wore on their first meeting: white dress and a vest, only now they were turn as if she were after the battle. – Why didn't you ask me to appear earlier?

-Because I knew that for whatever reason, you couldn't. – River winked at her. – Won't you ask me how I felt your presence?

-Well we are both dead and connected by the power of the TARDIS, so no, it doesn't surprise me.

- I still made a research on you, you know.

-Somehow it doesn't surprise me either– Rose smiled. She liked Melody, they understood each other, they could be friends or even sisters in another life. – What did you find?

-Not much, as you must know – she said smiling to – Some legends about a Bad Wolf child in old historical books, some words and signs and of course no information on Rose Tyler, your human name. It's like you never excited, except for one little note. You name is on the list of the dead after the incident at Canary Warf, some say that you even were there. I wonder who put you on the list?

-You already know the answer, Melody. I protected only my time in this universe, the second I was gone to another one, some information could have been leaked, but as I was officially dead there could be nothing new.

- So that's what happened to you? – said River quietly and then she looked a bit uncomfortably – You see I saw some footages…from Torchwood archives and I found something, I wasn't sure what it was, but the Doctor was standing near the white wall and he looked…well, he looked heartbroken.

Rose's eyes glowed. She didn't need to hear what exactly that was. She knew every second of it, she remembered every second of it, when she was standing on the other side of the wall, begging the Universe to bring her back.

-Than I found some writings by Sarah Jane Smith and UNIT, they both mentioned you as one of the closest Doctor's companions; they even went so far that they called you his lover.

-Is that what you want to know, Melody? Were me and the Doctor ever involved?

-No, - River laughed with a bitter irony – I figured that out long time ago. I wanted to ask you something else. You see, while traveled I met a certain Jack Harkness, after some thorough…persuasion he said something to me.

-That sex-crazed bastard, he could sell a world to a beautiful woman, or man – Rose thought for a second – or anyone else.

-That he does, but surprisingly he said nothing about you, he said he promised that to you, all he mentioned that you are the only person who got her happy ending with the Doctor, I want to know how? I think, after everything I deserve that simple truth.

Rose swallowed, she didn't want to share this story and to explain everything to someone, especially Melody, but she was right, she deserved to know, so Rose will tell, at least something.

-Something happened, I don't' want to discuss what, plus we had stuff to do, you have to help the Doctor and me…I have go somewhere else as soon as possible, that is why I asking you to go to Trenzalore.

-What can I do? As you said it for yourself I am dead.

-You are linked to Clara, you can tell her what to do, what to say. She is young, inexperienced and she doesn't know the Doctor, you'll be there to save both of them.

-Fine, I'll go, but you still haven't answered my question.

Rose sighed. Her eyes were glowing again and she could see, relive that horrible and wonderful day.

-I got back, after I was trapped in another Universe, I got back and then after the chain of events, there was a huge accident and…well, the Doctor split himself into two bodies one part-timelord/part-human, one just Timelord. And his mortal self stayed with me.

-But that's impossible –said River in whisper, after all her theories she didn't expect something so…unbelievable.

-You still think that there is something the Doctor can't do, at least by accident? Come on, Melody, you know better than that. The Doctor regenerated into human and this mortal version of him decided to go to another dimension with me.

-And the Doctor…I mean Time Lord Doctor agreed to that?

-It was actually his idea – Rose said sadly – He knew that we have no future together, I was human, mortal. In the end, it all worked out for better. I got my Doctor, he got you.

-Yeah, he got me. But I never got him, not even when I was alive –River said bitterly – He never loved me, I know that.

-You can't know that – Rose was trying to make it better for Melody, she really did – The Doctor is so, so complicated, God knows what goes through his head.

-It was easy with you, no one ever doubted the way he felt about you – River wasn't jealous, she didn't hate Rose, she just stated the simple fact and she was hurt. But that was her life and she didn't regret it, not one line, he was still worth it.

-I am sorry, Melody

-No, it's not your fault and I don't blame you or even him. We don't chose who to fall in love with – River straighten herself – I'll do what you ask but you have to promise me, that you'll look after him and take care of him in the ways that are possible for you, otherwise I'll kick your ghostly arse.

- I promise, - Rose said with a hint of smile. – He still cared very deeply about you, you know that right?

-Of course I know .Goodbye, Rose Tyler.

-Goodbye, Doctor Song.

And both women disappeared into space.


	11. The Day of the Doctors

They did it. They actually saved Gallifrey! They were not murderers anymore, now the Doctor got an actual goal in life, to find and bring somehow Gallifrey back. Even if it wouldn't be possible, even if Gallifrey is lost forever and they failed at least they failed doing the right thing. Eleventh looked quickly at Tenth, how he wished he could tell him that Rose was heavily involved in this, they all heard as the War exclaimed that he could kiss a Bad Wolf girl, but they didn't have time to go into that and now they needed to go to their timelines, three Doctors in one place? Too much pressure.

The War Doctor, even though battered by the centuries of war, happily returned into his TARDIS, he said farewells to his future selves and to Clara Oswald. Tenth and Eleventh Doctor stared at the painting for a moment while Clara excused herself to the bathroom.

-So – Ten started – We saved it and I won't remember it, will l?

-Yep, you know the timelines and all. If you want to know about new destination, that's Trenzalore, the place where we are buried among the battlefield.

-That's not what I wanted to ask…but it's not how our story should end – Ten was silent for a moment

-What then? – Eleven prompted him, he guessed what it was, but hoped that Ten will omit that topic and of course he didn't.

-I mean the picture, we don't know where it came here, and then Mister Grumpy Face said something…you know, about _her._

-I heard – Eleven could see how his younger self war nervous, he wished to say that this wasn't the end, that he'll see Rose again one day, but it was too complicated and he decided to leave it to Rose, so she could handle it, like she did for him – I know what you are thinking , but I can't tell you a thing, it's waaay too complicated.

-So it was her then? – Ten asked nervously, oh, Rose you were here; you saved my miserable life and erased my guilt.

Behind Tenth Doctor something golden started to shine, Eleven saw it but said nothing, he watched as battle-looking Bad Wolf Rose walked silently to the Ten.

-Well answer me, please – said Ten desperately – I know it's been awhile for you but you must remember how…

-I remember, - said Eleven, oh, how he remembered – But I think, you should speak to her directly.

-Directly, what…-Ten felt a gentle hand on his shoulder – you mean? – he finished in whisper.

His eyes went impossibly wide, he felt his heart's racing as he turned slowly to face his destiny. In front of him stood Rose Tyler, smiling widely and happily. The Doctor couldn't believe it. This day was too good to be true. He swapped her of the feet and hugged tightly. Rose laughed into his neck and swung her legs in the air, she missed this him, so, so much. She loved every incarnation, but this him, who shared the appearance and temper with her husband, who she traveled with, this incarnation was precious to her.

Ten couldn't believe it, she was here in his arms, he felt that his hearts would burst into flames of happiness and he had so, so many questions, but then he felt her lips on his cheek and decided that questions can wait.

-Doctor, what's going on? Who is she? – Clara returned from the bathroom. She didn't expect to see her Doctor beaming like a Father Christmas and the other to hug madly some young, strange-looking blonde. As if today's day wasn't hard enough.

-Ah, Clara. – said Eleven – That's a Bad wolf Girl who our War-self mentioned.

-Hello, Clara – said Rose, she had tears in her eyes, Ten didn't let go of her waist – It's nice to finally meet you properly.

-Have we met? – Clara asked – You seem a bit familiar…

-Well, Clara you've traveled through all of my lives – began Eleven – you might have bumped into her…

-Not, it's not that…Hey! I remember, you gave me the Doctor's phone number!

-What? – the two Doctor's exclaimed

-Hey, hey, calm down – said Rose – yes, that was me. And don't look at me like that, Doctor- she addressed to Eleven – You were bound to find he anyway, I just sped up the process that's it. I needed to ensure that you meet her, in order my plan of saving Gallifrey worked. And no, I didn't help her, during her jumps, she did everything by herself, I just gave her your number.

-We'll talk about this later – said Eleven – Now, Clara, let have some tea, and leave this two lovebirds alone for awhile.

-Lovebirds? – asked Clara teasingly

-Come on, Clara, don't embarrass them – he pushed her through the TARDIS's door – Just don't do anything…you know inappropriate, ok? It's too much in one day. See you, number Ten, Rose knock when you are done, so we can talk properly.

-Inappropriate, properly…? What's that all suppose to mean? – asked Ten

Eleven just waved and disappeared into his TARDIS. The Doctor didn't know what to say, he turned his gaze to Rose, his precious girl who he loved so, so much and the absence of who in his life was killing him.

-I won't ask why or when, because obviously my future-self knows the answer to that – but how?

-Your future-self knows answer to that to – she smiled at him.

-You know, it's not fair that he knows more than I do – the Doctor said with a pout.

-Are you jealous, Doctor? – she teased him

-You know perfectly well, that I am.

The Doctor took both Rose's hands into his. He still was smiling and his smile was infectious, Rose felt so, so happy. She was glad that her plan worked, she was glad to see him, the only thing that saddened her, that he'll forget it all soon and will have to face another battle with Timelords, and won't remember anything until centuries later.

-Doctor, let's postpone all the technicalities to your future, right now all you need to know that the Bad Wolf helped me to help you to save Gallifrey and that's it. Soon you'll be gone to queen Elizabeth – she laughed a bit – and you'll forget that you met me here.

-Bad Wolf, ha? I knew it has something to do with that, besides the War words, your eyes glowing.

-Yep, but it's not that simple. So leave it to a chin-boy.

The Doctor smiled, if she wanted to postpone this conversation, he was fine with it. She was here and that's all that mattered.

-But wait? – he asked suddenly – What about human me? You wouldn't leave him alone, would you?

- I didn't leave him, Doctor, why would I? Everything in a good time. It's not my fault that's there are so many of you and you travel through time and space like mad men you are – Rose laughed and it was like a music to his ears.

-Will he know, though? – he asked – Will he know that we tried to save Gallifrey, not to burn it?

-Yes, he will. I promise you.

-Good. I don't know how you'll mange that, but I am glad.

He took her face into his hands

-It's the best day of my life - he said in whisper, and pressed his forehead to her, as if it was the most natural thing in the world – I did the right thing with Gallifrey, and you are here, what did I do to deserve so much happiness?

-I don't know – she smiled a bit – Saved the Universe a million times?

They laughed. He was thinking of kissing her, not like he kissed Elizabeth today, his apparent wife, but for real, but how would she react? She must be happy with his human self and she said that she didn't leave him and at the same time she was here in his arms having Bad Wolf powers in her, his head started to hurt a bit, he decided to hell with that and he pressed his lips to hers.

Rose knew he would kiss her eventually but didn't expect it so urgently, she kissed him back immediately, she missed this particular lips so much, her husband had a bit warmer body temperature, but she wasn't the same as she was human, so it fitted perfectly.

From the Doctor's side everything was bliss, her lips was so welcoming and soft, he could swear that time stopped around them, the only thing mattered that she was so warm and sweet-smelling and that she was kissing him back with an equal eagerness. After awhile they both needed some air and they broke apart.

-Are we happy, I mean in the Pete's world?

-Yes, Doctor, we were very happy and lived a very long and full life. – Rose said while caressing his hair, his AMAZING hair, she thought that what she missed the most about this body.

-Were? – he asked with a concern

-I promise we'll have this conversation in the future, and now you need to go.

-I don't want to go.

She smiled sadly as he unknowingly repeated his own last words.

-I know you don't, love – he almost wept when she called him that – But there is a very long journey ahead of you and you can't stay here.

-I know - he kissed her hand -I know that's a stupid question, but can't you come with me? Right now? I can drop you off later.

Rose kissed him again, slowly and lovingly trying to express how painful it for her to let him go, but that she won't be able to come.

-I guess that's a "no" than – he said

-I promise we'll meet again, and I promise you that even if you don't see me, I am always around.

Rose took of his hands and knocked the TARDIS's door.

-Come out, Doctor, I know you've been watching us through a monitor.

Eleven and Clara came out, both were blushing a bit. It seems like Clara was watching this too.

-Enjoyed the show? – asked Ten – I can understand Clara, but you? You'll remember this eventually, what's the difference or will I become a bit of a pervert?

-Oi! I am not a pervert – said Eleven –I was just curious! And Clara…

-And I said, if he won't let me stay and watch I'll come to you and tell you about him peeping.

Rose giggled into Ten's sleeve as she used to do so many times during their travels and Ten just couldn't be angry with anyone, including himself.

-Anyway – he said – I need to go now, and leave three of you for...whatever you three doing. – he gestured in the air. Take care of them- he addressed to his future-self – of both of them. See you someday, Rose Tyler – he kissed her cheek. – And you to, miss Oswald – he waved to Clara – Take care, Chinny

-Oi! – exclaimed Eleven

Ten laughed and disappeared in his TARDIS.

-You know, Clara – said Rose –Why don't you and I have a little chat, while the Doctor will brood a bit, yeah?

-Thanks – said the Doctor – But I am not brooding.

-I'll see you later – Rose smiled

-Not if I see you first – the Doctor answered with a smile remembering their long-time conversation.

-Seriously guys, do you have to be so disgustingly cute? – asked Clara with a mocking irritation

-We'll wait for you in the TARDIS, Doctor.

Rose and Clara disappeared in the time-machine, while the Doctor was to meet some very special, old face.

Rose turned the monitor off, the Curator and the Doctor needed some privacy. Clara sat in the edge of a console room. She looked at this Rose with curiosity and wonder, she never saw the Doctor to behave like this around anyone. And she had questions.

-So, Clara, how do you like traveling with the Doctor? – Rose asked as she sat in front of her.

-Well, it's…-Clara tried to speak confidently, but failed a bit, there was something intimidating about Rose – it's interesting and wonderful and the Doctor is great to, he well…he is the Doctor, you know.

-Yeah, I know – said Rose with a smile – You know, I can see timelines perfectly and yours are so complicated I find it fascinating! I know what you did for him and I admire your courage.

-Thanks, I think anyone would do it, though.

-Maybe – answered Rose – but you did it, not someone else.

Clara smiled at her, maybe she wasn't that scary.

-Can I ask you something? – Rose nodded – Are you and him?...You know, I just thought that the Doctor doesn't do this kind of things but then I met River and well…you. Do you know about River by the way?

-Wow, that's many questions – Rose whistled a bit

-Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, just curious.

Rose looked at Clara, she wasn't angry, she remembered when she was just like her and met Sarah Jane, she wanted to know as much as possible about the Doctor's past which he didn't want to share.

-I understand this Clara, believe me I do. The Doctor doesn't share much, does he? Well, yeah I know River, we are even friends, sort of. – Clara's eyebrows went up – Don't be so surprised, Clara. I know it's strange for you, you are young and even though some part of your consciousness remembers your jumps, it's hard for you to really comprehend how old the Doctor really is and how many people he met during his life. Me and River and some others…well, we just sticked a bit longer and closer than his usual companions. But that doesn't mean he cares less for you, he just doesn't share much. – Rose finished her speech with a gentle smile

The door opened and the Doctor stormed in

-Now, ladies where do you want to go? I've got excellent ideas! In fact I'm bursting with energy, so…

-Doctor, I can't go – Rose interrupted his speech.

-Oh.

-You know I can't.

-But I thought, you know we saved Gallifrey, we can celebrate a bit and plus isn't the biggest paradox of my life is solved now? Why can't you stay?

Rose came closely to him

-I'll just go and rest for awhile – said Clara and quickly left the console room

-Why can't you stay? – asked the Doctor – I mean now everything is different and you can really stay.

-I can't, Doctor and you know it. As you said to River there is time to live and time to sleep. And you were right. My life was over long time ago

-Don't say that.

-But it's true – she hugged him – I did what I had to do, I helped you to save Gallifrey and now you don't need me anymore.

-What? – the Doctor asked in fear – What do you mean, I won't see you again? I always need you!

Rose looked him in the eyes.

-You will see me again, Doctor, one more time. And then, yes. I will disappear from your life forever.

-How can you say that, and expect me to just let you go. – he thought that it was the happiest day of his life and now…now something he thought he finally got back at least rarely was disappearing. Again. Why couldn't be happy for real? In every aspect, not just one?

-Doctor, don't be mad. You've lost me a long time ago and we had this magical extra days together. I think it's wonderful.

-Yeah…- the Doctor sounded unsure

-I promise, when you'll see me the next time, we'll have a very long and proper goodbye.

The Doctor felt tears forming in his eyes.

-OK, - he swallowed thickly and kissed her temple – I see you soon, than.

-Sooner than you think, Doctor.

And Rose vanished into the golden light, leaving the Doctor to his only constant companion.


	12. Pond Life

Amelia Williams was sitting in her garden. She watched as her husband and their 3 years old son Anthony was playing hide and seek. Amy was a happy person, she had a wonderful family, they had a nice house and she was a writer, specifically kids' writer. Rory, Williams, her husband was a doctor, it was 1943, so Rory had a lot of work to do even though they lived in America and the war that raged in Europe didn't bother them much, there were still a lot of refugees and wounded people, so Rory's day-off was like a holiday for the whole family. And then there was their son Tony, they adopted him two years ago as Amy couldn't have the children of her own.

They seemed to be a normal family except they had a secret, in fact it was a huge secret they couldn't share with anyone. When Amy was a little girl, she had an imaginary friend, but he wasn't imaginary, he was real. He came back for her on the night before her wedding, her raggedy Doctor. She travelled in his magical machine that was bigger on the inside. He took Amy away and showed her whole of time and space, than he did the same for her Rory. Oh, the adventures they had all together, re-booted the universe, saved a space-whale, met Vincent Van Gogh, fought with pirates. They witnessed the wedding of the Doctor and their daughter…Daughter, Amy thought with a heavy sigh, her Melody was never really their daughter; they couldn't be there for her. She was stolen right after her birth and she found them when she was at school, even though they didn't know it was her…And then, they discovered that she was also River Song, the Doctor's friend and wife with whom he had a very complicated and ambiguous relationship. Amy made peace with all that, at least her little girl was never bored. But then, then something terrible happened, herself and her husband were transported back in time by the Weeping Angels, terrible creatures who fed on time. But because they already re-wrote events of that day a few times, they could never come back home. They were transported in 1937, leaving their family and friends in 2012.

She didn't mind living here, in New York of the past, but he heart ached for her Doctor, whom she could never see again. She knew that he would take their deaths very hard, she knew how much he loved them, she even wrote an afterword for him in Melody's book to ease his pain, and she hoped he was alright. It's been 5 years since they moved here and they built a great life but there wasn't a day they didn't talk or think about the Doctor. They would love him, always, even without seeing him anymore. Amy hoped that River would visit them now and then, but she never did, Amy wondered if the paradox they created was even more powerful, then they originally thought.

-You are brooding again – Amy didn't notice that her husband sat next to her.

-No, I am not –Rory looked at her skeptically – OK, maybe a bit, but you know, it's hard not to think about him and you know River and all.

-I know, Amy, but you need to try to think about good things we all had together – he took her hand – not about what we lost.

-Since when you became such an optimist?

-Since always – he pecked her on the lips and then something happened. Just in front of them, in the middle of their garden a golden light appeared

-Rory, take Tony to his room, now. – Amy Pond was showing in Mrs. Williams

Without a question Rory grabbed Tony and ran to his room, after a minute he came back holding a gun. They travelled with the Doctor for 10 years and they knew the intruder when they saw it. Finally the light disappeared and they saw a young, blonde girl, she was wearing jeans and a blue hoodie, her hair was in two pigtails and she was smiling to them like to the old friends, she seemed vaguely familiar somehow.

Rose made a deep breath, even with her Bad Wolf powers it was immensely hard to appear in this time line. Pond's life was covered with paradoxes and she had to be extra careful, that's why it took so long for her to materialize.

-Who the hell are you? – asked Amy

-Amelia Pond, Rory Williams it's a great pleasure to meet you – said the blonde – I can see where Melody took her addiction to guns – she looked at Rory, he lowered the gun

-You know Melody?- he asked

-Yes and the Doctor to, my name is Rose Tyler.

-Rose Tyler? – asked Amy – I thought that your face was a bit familiar, the Dreamlord showed you to us.

-Yep, I know. That little bastard knew how to manipulate, well he is the Doctor after all. – Rose smiled

-Why are you here? – Rory asked, Rose became sad instantly, her golden eyes were shining not only with the vortex but tears as well.

-The Doctor, I mean from my point of view is…dying. – she whispered

-WHAT? – yelled Amy and Rory together – What the hell are you talking about? –Amy continued – He can't die! He is a Timelord, he'll regenerate – she was furious with this woman, who was she to say such things? – And why should we trust you anyway? How do we know that you even real Rose and not some trick of the Dreamlord?

Rose looked straight into Amy's eyes. She had to make her believe, because the Doctor deserved to see his beloved companion one more time before his final bow. Rose knew something, something terrible and brilliant at the same time, but she couldn't share it with anyone, because she wasn't sure by herself.

-Amy, I know that you have no reason to trust me, and I know that you don't want to hear it, but that the truth. The Doctor is heading to his final battle and this battle will either kill him or change him even more than usually, there is no other option for him, just none, I looked through every possibility and there are none. Even if the Doctor's body survives this, his soul won't. He will change so drastically that…I can't even put that into words.

Amy wanted to cry, that's was not fair and the worst part she knew that Rose was telling the truth. No matter that she was a bit unearthly with her appearance and eyes, Amy saw that she loved the Doctor deeply.

-What do you want from us? – asked Rory – We can't help him, we can't even see him ever again. And even if we could, if you can't help him with your super-powers, how can we?

-You can't, no one can, you are right, Rory. But we can ease his pain and transformation, so to speak. Amy, - she addressed to a broken redhead – You were the closest person to him in this life, he loved you very much and he'll need you when the time comes.

-I would love to see him and do at least _something. _But you heard, Rory.

-Yes, but I can help. You see, something happened to me when I was alive, and yes now I am not, I am just an echo…sort of, it's complicated. But I gained the ability to control time and space, so I can project your consciousness to him, so you could be there when…when he will be gone.

-Wait, wait, wait…No. It's too dangerous – said Rory – What if you'll harm Amy or bring her somewhere bad? No, it's can't happen.

-Rory, I love you, but please shut up.

-But…

-No, it's my decision and…What do I have to do? – asked Amy.

-Close your eyes, Amy – Rose came close to Amelia and put her hands on her head – Think of your Doctor, the best, brightest memory you have of him. You have one?

-Yes, - Amy smiled as she remembered newly regenerated Doctor in her house eating impossible stuff.

-Now, I'll open the portal to his…well, to his location. It won't be long, just a few seconds, even with my abilities it's very hard and basically breaking every law of time, but I'm willing to risk. Are you ready?

-Yes

-I don't know what you'll like to him, so try to choose it by yourself. On the count of three. One, two, three…

And Amy felt like she was flying, she saw thousands of faces, millions of places and then she felt herself being in the TARDIS. It wasn't the TARDIS as she remembered it, it was more clinical and white and more like a mad scientist room. Amy was standing in some hall and then she heard voices, she heard as the Doctor called her name and heard her own laugh as she was a child, she rushed to the voices and then she saw him. She stopped for a second, her heart was bursting with love and sadness as she saw, her Doctor, her raggedy Doctor. He looked almost the as she remembered him, except for different costume. He was talking to some petite brunette, perhaps his knew companion. Then she heard Rose's voice in her head which told her to hurry up. Amy started to walk down the stairs slowly, her legs didn't listen to her properly, she felt that she was dressed in a 21st century style, just like the Doctor should have remembered her. And then the Doctor saw her, he was awestruck. Amy approached him slowly, she felt like crying but couldn't. She wasn't real after all.

-Raggedy Man – she touched his cheek and smiled as she saw the face of her beloved friend, her childhood hero, and she said the only thing she could think of when he touched her face gently, - Goodnight.

With that Amy disappeared into reality. She started to blink fiercely as if she was after roller-coaster and then she began to sob, she felt heavy tears in her eyes and then Rory's hands around her. She cried because her best friend just died and she couldn't even talk to him properly, she cried because she was so glad to see him even if for a moment and so sad that he was gone. She clanged to her husband as he tried to calm her down throwing angry glances at Rose. And then he saw that she was crying silently to, she looked so broken and lost that he couldn't be angry with her. He looked at Amy then, unlike Rose Amy had him.

When Amy calmed down they came into the house. Rory made three strong cups of tea. It was a hard day, the day the Doctor died, he was devastated to, but nowhere as close as was Amy and Rose, for whom the Doctor was more than a friend. For Amy he was childhood personified, a family and for Rose…well, whatever they were for each other, they were close.

Rose didn't cry anymore, she was strong, she was immortal echo of vortex power but she still felt as if her heart broke in million pieces. She felt like she was on that beach again, crying her goodbye to him.

-So, what's now? – asked Amy – Where are you going now, Rose?

Rose glanced at Amy, they understood each other, they shared the pain, but Amy had her family and Rose...well, when this will be over she'll finally rest in peace.

-I need to go back in time, the Doctor…well, the Doctor still needs my help. I just decided to pop to you before I'll visit him for the last time.

-Why didn't you come with me? I am sure he would love to see you.

-I couldn't Amy…it was too risky – Rose closed her eyes

-What do you mean? – Rory asked

-I wouldn't be able to just watch, I would have changed something – Rose said brokenly – in order to save him and I can't do it. I was protecting the Universe and myself.

-You could have changed that? –asked Amy – Why didn't you do that? Why did you make me see that if you could change time? – she yelled

- I AM time, Amelia Pond! – Rose growled wolfishly – And no matter how much I care for someone, no matter how much I love the Doctor, the Universe has to move forward! Even if he is the cost of it!

They glared at each other.

-OK, - said Rory calmingly – Let's take it slowly, it was a hard and emotional day and we are all exhausted. We need to rest and then…

-I won't stay, Rory – said Rose – I need to go soon.

-Why? – asked Amy, she wanted Rose to stay, she was her last connection to the Doctor - Rose, I know I've been harsh but that's because I…

-You are human, that's enough, I used to be one myself long time ago- said Rose, she wasn't angry anymore - But I need to go, because I can't stay here in this place for long – she smiled - too many paradoxes around you, guys.

-Mommy? – asked a child's voice. – Who's that?

Amy rushed quickly to her three years old son, she took him in her hands and then sat down on the couch. Tony settled comfortably on mother's lap.

-Say hello, Tony. This is our friend, Rose Tyler.

-Hello

-Hello, Tony. – Rose smiled warmly. – You know, I had a brother, his name was Tony to.

-Really? – the young boy asked

-Yep, he was very like you when he was your age. – Tony giggled -Amy, Rory – Rose addressed a redhead woman and her husband– I need to go now, but I can deliver a message from you to the Doctor, I know you wrote him an afterword, but...

-Can you bring a photo of us? – suggested Rory – Of our family, with Tony? It's not much…

-It's perfect – said Rose

-Wait here, I'll bring one –Rory rushed to their room

Amy and Rose sat in the silence a bit, Tony was watching them with curiosity.

-You know, he told me about you, after the Dreamlord stuff – Amy told

-I know, I can see all his life from the beginning to the end and not only his – Rose answered mysteriously.

-Wow, that's must be a lot of information. – she couldn't imagine to have so many stories in her head, she could hardly keep up with her own.

-I've visited him after you and Rory were gone – Rose continued – he was devastated, your death was one of the hardest blows he ever had. I know you are a writer? What book are you working on now?

-"Summer Falls"

-A nice one, I liked all your books, but I think this is my favorite.

-Thanks, I am surprised that such a being reads my books, but thanks.

-Well, even someone like me likes a good book and…

-Here – Rory came back with the picture. It was a picture of three of them. Rory, Amy and Tony when they just adopted them he was sitting between his parents and all three of them seemed to be very happy.

-It's perfect. – said Rose again, she put the picture in her pocket all she had to do now, not to change her clothes. – I know you are thinking of writing to your father about what happened to you, my advice, do it. He deserves to know the truth, the Doctor would never visit him to explain.

-I…I am still not sure, but thanks for advice, Rose – he hugged her suddenly, and then took Tony to his room, leaving two women for goodbye.

-Will we ever see you again? –asked Amy standing up

-No, this is where our story ends, even without a proper beginning. I know you are worried about why Melody hasn't visited you, but I am afraid she can't. Too complicated place this is.

-I thought it would be something like that. But I hope that she'll find a way one day, at least once.

-Hope is a good thing, who knows? Maybe she will find a way. – with that Amy hugged her to.

-Take of yourself, Rose and say "hi" to him when you see him. Tell him, that Amelia Pond still loves him.

-I will –answered Rose – you take care to. You've got a wonderful life here, Amy.

-I know, goodbye.

Rose vanished into space.


	13. Tales of Trenzalore

The Doctor was making another toy, he did many these days, he had to be busy between the battles with so many creatures he lost count. It's been 200 since he had to stay on Trenzalore in order to protect his home planet and this planet from inevitable destruction. After his talk with Tasha everything became clear, every crack in the Universe, the Silence affair, even River's training to kill him. Rose was right, this life was far more complicated than any other, apart maybe from his Eight self. During these 2 centuries the Doctor changed a lot. He thought once, he is not capable of standing in one place, but he managed it perfectly, the TARDIS was away saving Clara and he got used to living here, too bad all the people he knew from his first century here already died, well, humans were fragile, he knew that and now he witnessed thousands of them wither and die, a price for his refusal to watch it happen to his friends, he thought sadly.

He changed not only inside, but outside to. The Timelords were capable of getting older, he already was 300 years in this body when he settled here, now he was 500 and he looked like he was in his 40th, his youthful face changed into mature one. And yeah, his leg was injured a bit. He knew he'll have to replace it someday, but not now, it still was there and he'll try to keep it that way as long as possible, stupid Angel with its dust and claws, the Doctor thought about his lat encounter with Weeping Ones.

He accepted his fate, he knew, that most likely he won't survive this battle and he'll be buried here, Rose knew that and she warned him so many times to be careful. And River knew, but she had a hope and Rose didn't, because she knew the future, she knew that he won't go through this and she did everything in her power to change his remaining days for better. He was waiting for her, he knew she'll come eventually, she promised to visit him one last time and now he knew why it would be the last one, he grimaced painfully, he was so worried, seems millions years ago, that he'll outlive her, now it's vice a verse, she is an immortal Goddess and he is a doomed Timelord. He just wished she visited not right before his death, but earlier, so they could spend some time together, like they used to. He wanted to repeat that wonderful night they had in Victorian London, he knew it was a bit strange for an old man like him, but you can't really blame the doomed, can you?

Someone knocked the door, the Doctor stood up and with a bit of limp went to open his house, he got used to it, he had a lot of guests mostly children and grateful people who fed him and listened to his "magical" stories, he was a bit like a Father Christmas to them, the one who fought aliens of course. The Doctor glanced outside the window, it was snowing, the never ending snow in the town called Christmas, it would be poetic if it wasn't so sad.

The Doctor opened the door and he saw his little new friend Hannah, who brought him pancakes every week.

-Hello, Hannah – he said smiling – If you brought your super pancakes I would love you to join me.

-No, sir Doctor, not today – she said quickly in her squeaky voice - I am a postman today, there is a lady waiting for you near the Truth field, she said she was your old friend.

-Hannah – the Doctor sighed – if it's a dark-haired woman with lined eyes, tell her that my answer is the same and that she shouldn't waste my time – the Doctor started to close the door

-No, no, sir Doctor. This lady looks very strangely, she is in the white dress, even though it's cold as ever and she has no lines, oh and she has blonde hair and fireworks eyes.

The Doctor hearts stopped as always when he heard about this particular blonde.

-Wait here. – with that the Doctor closed the door and rushed to the mirror, he combed his hair quickly and straightened the bow tie, he looked like a decent middle-aged gentleman. Well, after all, she didn't mind kissing his Ninth self and he was far less attractive and didn't have his amazing hair, the Doctor thought to himself smugly. And then he stopped, what if she wouldn't want to kiss him, let alone…anything else. Pervert, he thought. She visits at such a terrible time and all you can think of is sexual intercourse? Whatever, even if she just smiles at him, it would be the happiest moment in these 200 years. The Doctor popped back to the street.

-How do I look? – he asked surprised Hannah

-Like a hero, sir, like always – she answered sincerely.

-Good, now lead me to that lady.

Rose Tyler stood silently under the snow, she could have come straight to his house but she wanted to surprise him and to make it a bit funnier. She was looking in the night sky and wondering about his and her lives, about Ponds, about the end of Trenzalore's battle. In the inside pocket of the dress she held a photo she took from Amy and Rory, this time Rose was planning to stay for awhile, if he would let her. Because they owed it to each other and because she knew that for many centuries he'll see nothing but battles and snow. Every day these battles will be more and more difficult, until the day he'll have to sacrifice his life, so Gallifrey would be brought into the light one day.

The Doctor saw her from the distance, she stood out from this grim forever-cold landscape, it reminded him a bit about Woman Wept, but there was a frozen but shining kingdom, here is never-ending darkness in a small village. Rose looked like an angel today, her long blonde hair was streaming in the wind, she was wearing a simple long white dress, but it looked like she was shining, perhaps she was, but he didn't care. Hannah has gone home and the Doctor approached the lady in waiting, he knew she felt his presence but he stood next to her and looked at the same direction as she did. A huge spaceship was hovering above them, scanning the village.

-Funny thing fate, don't you think? – she broke the silence

-I don't' believe in fate – he answered – I believe that there are beings that can create an image of fate, but not destiny itself.

-Beings…like me?

-No, you can create a destiny for someone, but you never will. – she glanced at him

-So theoretically there can be one.

-Maybe, but you are one of a kind with consciousness and power, so I doubt it.

The Doctor turned his face and saw that Rose was already starring at him.

-You look older – she said

-You look the same, but then again you always do. – she smiled at these words

-I'm here for quite long if you want me to – Rose said

He looked into her brown-golden eyes and felt confusion and happiness

-For how long?

-Years, decades, maybe. 30 years at most. – she said – but then I'll leave forever. You won't see me ever again.

The Doctor took Rose's hand. If they can have 30 years together, than that's it. He counted on 2 days at max and now she was giving him an enormous gift, afraid that he won't accept it. He knew why, because after decades of being together he would be devastated, but it was his greatest reward, being with her for so long when he was going to the end of the line anyway, so why won't make it painfully beautiful.

-You know, -he started –I've spend most of my life running, running from my family, from my home, responsibility, companions, pain, love…-he stopped for a second- and now I am stuck here until my dying day, which is fine, I deserved it. But with you being here, even for 30 years – he kissed her hand – I don't know what else to ask for. You always were my biggest happiness, my star and now you are here as my personal angel who'll make it easier to prepare for my eternal sleep.

Rose felt tears in her eyes, the Timelord never talked to her like that, only when he was human he allowed such confessions.

-You could simply said "yes" – and she kissed him deeply.

* * *

A few hours later the Doctor and Rose was lying in his bad and was giggling a bit. They agreed not to think about the future but enjoy every moment they'll have. The Doctor's head was lying on her lap and she stroked his hair gently, while he told her some ridiculous stories. He looked older, yes, but she even liked his lines on the face, they made him wiser and...sexier, she though with a bit of blush.

On the Doctor's part he felt so happy and peaceful that he didn't care one bit about Tasha and future-past and the crack in his wall, now, he just felt content. He knew that it'll last for 30 years only but it was better than…well, then everything.

-I swear, Rose, he did that!

-I know you are lying through your Timelord teeth, but I'll pretend that I believe you – she kissed him, and then remembered something very important - Doctor, give me my dress, I need something to show you.

-You can show me anything without your dress, I don't mind – he wiggled his non-existent eyebrows. But then reached for her white gown.

Rose rummaged in the pocket of her dress and took the precious photo.

-I've got a surprise for you, Doctor, it's not much, but…-she gave him the picture

The Doctor glanced and the photo and his hearts raced.

-Is that?.. – he asked in a very low voice.

-Yes it's them, and it's not faked or photoshopped or anything. I visited them before coming here and Rory suggested to give you this, so you could, you know be sure that they are happy and all.

The Doctor didn't know what to say. Only Rose could do that to him, when he thought that he can't be happier she goes and do this.

-So you talked to them? How did they settle down? Is Amy happy? – he knew they had years ahead to discuss things, but he needed to know this now.

-Yes, Doctor, they are very happy, they live in a big house actually. Amy is a writer and Rory is a doctor – she smiled – they even adopted a son, you see? His name is Tony. Anthony Williams.

-Tony…like your baby brother, right? –he smiled looking gently at the picture. – Too bad I can't visit them by myself…was it hard getting there? Or it was fine for you?

-Hard, - Rose answered – it took me whole minute to materialize and in my case it's an eternity. Melody can't get to them to; I guess she'll find a way eventually as she had to give Amy that book.

The Doctor nodded, he put the picture of his friends on the table next to bed.

-Oh and Amy – Rose sad urgently –she made me promise that I'll tell you that they love you and miss you, they think of you every day.

The Doctor nodded again and then embraced his Rose, he didn't break down like the last time, but he wanted just a bit of her warmth and support, it was like bathing in a warm sea that calms and surrounds you.

-You know what I was thinking? – the Doctor asked Rose suddenly and she shacked her head- I was thinking about the Impossible Planet, remember? It was the first time we talked about settling down, get a job and live together in one house, you said we should just live our lives like the rest of the world, not jumping to the great events.

-I remember – Rose smiled – And I remember how you freaked out.

-Oi, I didn't freak out! I was just surprised, and then you said something that made me love you even more, as if it were even possible, you said that being stuck with me is not so bad. That day I realized that you love me to. Not a life I showed you, not the stars but me. And it made me so happy…

-And before that conversation you didn't realize that I was head over heels in love with you? – she asked sarcastically and the Doctor smiled:

-I had a guess or two, but that day I knew it. I was always wondering if you could love me, not the things I gave you and you willing to stay with me, on that planet, without the TARDIS and not being angry, even offering to share our lives in the future. That was incredible. And now we have that life, sort of.

-You can be so, so daft sometimes – she slapped him playfully – I would have stayed with you forever, until my dying day, you know that right?

-I do, believe me I do. Plus you already did once, with my human-self, lucky bastard.

-So what are you usually doing here? - asked Rose playfully, moving away from that topic – It's not like there is plenty to do and without the TARDIS, it's a bit hard to think of how to entertain yourself.

-Well, I have battles almost every day, but now with the Bad Wolf on my side I think it'll be easier.

-Doctor, you know I can't use my powers for real, don't you?

-Well of course I do – he said with i-know-everything tone – But you can do cheap tricks now and then, you know confuse them with your glowing eyes and move here and there, stuff like that.

-Ok, - Rose giggled – that I can. But we should keep it quiet, you know. About me being here and especially my powers.

-Well, we can try to hide your powers –the Doctor said with a hint of a doubt. - But your presence? Not a chance! I bet the whole village is already talking about you and Tasha will find out sooner or later and with her the others.

-I don't care about the village or others, they can't get me anyway, but Tasha can be a problem ,yeah.

-Do you know her?

-We've met once, long-long time ago, when you were in your Third body ago. I asked her to do me a favor. – Rose smiled – Specifically to direct you at UNIT.

-You did that? –Rose nodded – Let me guess, I would've got there anyway, you just sped up the process

-Cross my heart – she answered – But anyway, I know Tasha and I am sure she'll try to persuade me to persuade you to make the "right" choice and she'll disturb us not once, that's for sure.

-Will you try to make me the "right" choice? – he asked carefully

-No, - she answered without a second thought – your choices belong to you and in this case I support it. You are doing the right thing, even though they don't understand that.

-Thank you, it means a lot to me that you approve my plan.

Rose kissed him again and with that there were no talks for quite awhile.


	14. In the Candlelight

OK, I've read the leaked scripts and frankly speaking I hated them. Sorry, Capaldi, you can't save DW for me. So, in my headcanon the Doctor, our Doctor since 1963, died with Eleven. Moffat ruined every hope for me to renew my Doctor Who journey, so 12th Doctor for me is someone else, it's even convenient as the new regeneration cycle appeared. So I'll continue this topic further, until the end of fanfic, I decided to warn in case you excepted 12/Rose and wouldn't want to accept the direction of my story, because this fic will totally end with the The Time of the Doctor. Sorry if I disappointed you, guys. Hope you'll stay with until the very end.

* * *

Rose was brushing her golden hair while humming some old Earth song; she looked at herself and sighed heavily. She has been living with the Doctor for 10 years now and hasn't changed a bit, she still looked 20 years old, she knew that she won't change, but seeing as her Doctor was getting older while she was frozen…well, let's just say she understood now perfectly why he was so terrified of her mortality.

During these 10 years not many things changed, she and the Doctor still lived in that old house the Doctor chose for himself, but their room became more comfortable and livable, there were a lot of cushions and flowers, the Doctor built for their 5th year together a table-mirror for Rose where she was sitting right now. The ground floor was decorated with many children's' pictures and the Doctor…The Doctor was getting older, his leg was worse with every year, Rose slowed down the process but he was injured by Time through the Angels' powers, so she couldn't stop it for good, time is merciless to everyone, even to itself.

As for their relationship, well they were still madly in love and showed it in every possible way, they even got married, sort of, as the villagers were really curious about Rose's identity, so the Doctor slipped that she was his fiancée who will stay here for awhile and people decided to organize a traditional wedding for them, as a thank you for protecting Trenzalore. Rose and the Doctor didn't need that, they knew that they were destined for each other long time ago, they knew that no one will or had ever replaced each other in their hearts, they didn't need vows or long-time promises because they knew how changeable life is, so they cherished every moment they had together, there were no boundaries between them anymore. They knew everything about each other, right now there could be no secrets, the Doctor knew perfectly well that he was heading for his death and Rose had nothing to hide anymore, she told him that Gallifrey could be saved one day, but not by him. She told him, that even if he'll find the way to regenerate, this him, his soul will be gone and someone else will get the title of the Doctor. The Doctor accepted it stoically, he said that even if that what is supposed to happen, then he will defend the crack and his planet until this "new" Doctor arrives, it was his duty, his responsibility, purgatory for all the things he ever did.

Of course, these years wasn't all shiny, they fought sometimes and sometimes he was unbearable and she was impossibly stubborn, Rose was trying really hard not to laugh sometimes as she had so many similar arguments with human him. She showed this Timelord Doctor every memory she had of their life together in Pete's World, after everything he saw the Doctor was stumbled and then kissed her deeply, that night, he said, Rose returned part of his soul that he was missing since Bad Wolf Bay.

It would have been a happy, ordinary life for two very unordinary people if it wasn't for constant battles. Sometimes they lasted for days, sometimes for minutes. Sometimes breaks between battles took weeks, sometimes months, but in the end their enemies always came back. Tasha didn't disturb them during these years but they knew that she would one day; the Doctor hoped that it will be after Rose's departure which he was trying really hard not to think of. In his my mind he prepared himself, but in his hearts…it was unbearable torture. Rose was true to her promise and didn't use her Bad Wolf powers to stop the attacks, well except for cheap tricks and knowledge, so they worked mostly as they used to hundreds of years ago, when she was just a shop-girl and he was the last of his kind alien.

Lost in her thoughts Rose didn't notice as two strong arms embraced her from behind, the Doctor's lined face appeared in the mirror, he buried his face in her just-brushed hair but she didn't mind.

-You look so beautiful when you lost in your thoughts – the Doctor said. He complimented everything he could; it was as if he tried to compensate for lost years and days yet to come. – What were you thinking?

-A lot, actually, you old Kazanova – she said smiling - Mostly about last ten years and you know, everything.

-I am not Kazanova, miss Tyler, I've met him, we are nothing alike! Although, he did resemble a bit my Tenth self – the Doctor admitted thoughtfully

-I bet he did! – Rose laughed

-Oi! You know I might get jealous! – he pouted – I wasn't _that _pretty! I know I am not as young as I used to be say 200 ago, but still…

Rose turned to face him and decided to shut his gob up with the best method, she snogged the lights out of him. The Doctor didn't mind…much

-OK, that's just not fair, Rose Tyler – he whispered

-Oh, you know like they say, in love and war all methods are good enough. And we have bits of both.

-That was paraphrased quote from Harry Potter, ha! You know it's hard to trick me.

-You could have let me win once.

-Never – he kissed her – Otherwise you'll lose your interest in me – The Doctor winked.

Rose smiled again and they resumed kissing, the kisses became more and more urgent and their teasing conversation was about to transform into brilliant shag but as life was cruel, someone knocked the door.

-Damn it! – the Doctor cursed and Rose smiled – If it's the Daleks or Weeping Angels interrupted I will totally kill them without a thought!

-Doctor, you know you can't really kill an Angel and the Daleks always come back. – she tried to joke, they decided long time ago that they will try to ease for each other all the battles they'll face together.

-But Rooose –the Doctor whined as they got down the stairs– They interrupted our shag-time! No one is allowed to do that!

-Doctor, I asked you million times not to call _this _a shag-time, seriously are you 14 or something?

-Sorry, sorry. I just think this is amusing and – the Doctor opened the door and froze in the mid-sentence. It wasn't a Dalek or an Angel, it wasn't even Slitheen, it was far, far worse. Tasha Lem was standing in front of them, deep down they realized that Universe wouldn't be kind to them and that Tasha will find out about Rose and their relationship, they knew she'll try to find any possible information and then visit their lives. Well, Rose thought, good thing she erased most of the information, she just hoped that Captain Jack wasn't mouthful enough with this woman, otherwise she'll kick his immortal ass from this Universe.

-Doctor, it's good to see you again – said Tasha and then looked at Rose – I assume you are Miss Rose Tyler, the Doctor's companion, so many people are talking about.

-Stop it Tasha – said the Doctor angrily– the answer is still the same and I see no reason for you being here.

Tasha's eyes flared but she remained calm, she had to talk to this girl, who the Doctor according to the rumors was in love with. Not, that she believed that, she knew the Doctor for a very long time and knew almost for sure that he is not capable of that, but they were obviously close, so Tasha will use every possible trigger to persuade him to stop this nonsense and let them destroy Gallifrey for good. This companion of his was even more mysterious than the Doctor, he left trails, she, according to databases were never born and never seen, but Tasha hoped to get some information in person, she was smart and could read people quite good, she could even read their thoughts sometimes, so she had to try.

-I am here to talk to your companion, Doctor.

-I have no desire talking to you, Tasha Lem. I know everything you might say to me, believe me I do, and I won't help you. – Rose said coldly. Tasha looked at the young woman and decided that she wasn't that young after all, her eyes were almost glowing and they were…timeless. But she couldn't give up. Not now, when Daleks were attacking them again and again.

-You don't understand. The Daleks are everywhere, let alone them, the creatures are attacking again and again we don't know how long we can hold them, so they didn't destroy every person here and everywhere! Doctor, I understand your desire to save your people, but you threaten the whole of reality, you once decided to burn them in order to save the Universe, what's changed now?

-It's none of your business, Tasha! -the Doctor snapped - Your job is not to make the evil spread, I thought that your organization is powerful enough to stop an army of aliens! Contact the Shadow Proclamation if it's so hard for you!

-It's not that! – Tasha began to lose her temper – You can't bring them back! They are monsters, the War changed them and you know it! And didn't' even start about all the Nightmare Children and Death Legions that are hidden with Gallifrey!

-The Doctor knows he can't let them out – Rose step up – You know him well enough to understand that he is well aware of their state, he always knew what the Time lords are made of, that's why he escaped –Rose squeezed the Doctor's hand – But destroying their chance of surviving the never-ending hell is not right. No one says that letting them go now is a good idea.

Tasha sighed, she knew that it would be hard, but she needed to talk to this Rose in private, she knew that the Doctor's companions will defend him, especially in the face of an enemy, so she needed to reason with Rose without him.

-Miss Tyler – she addressed Rose – Please, let us talk in private. If after that you won't accept my opinion, then I'll leave you for good and we will try to save the world by the methods we have.

The Doctor and Rose looked at each other, it was like they communicated silently, they could almost see each other's thoughts, after a second the Doctor nodded. He glanced at Tasha angrily and limped to the kitchen. Rose took her coat and closed the door.

-Well, Tasha let's have a walk and we'll talk.

-That's it? – Tasha exclaimed – The Doctor won't argue with that?

-The Doctor trusts me, he knows that whatever you tell me, I won't support you.

-Maybe, but I have to try. – they walked slowly to the lake, the never-ending snow was falling silently. – I know, Rose that you care for the Doctor and I can see that he cares for you and right now you are the only person who can change his mind. – Rose smirked

-I can, but I won't. I took the part in saving Gallifrey and I knew the consequences of it, so I am the part of the problem not it's solution.

Tasha was astonished. She stopped walking.

-What? You saved Gallifrey?

-Yes.

-But how? I mean, I know you are not really a human, but still saving Gallifrey is supposed to be beyond possible!

Rose looked at the night's sky. She was so tired, she didn't want to talk to Tasha, to explain her anything, plus she didn't like this priest and didn't trust churches in general, they were too political for her liking. Rose just wanted to go home and curl up with the Doctor in front of the chimney and then go to bed.

-It doesn't matter how, and frankly speaking I have no intention to share it with you. The Doctor and I saved Gallifrey because it was a right thing to do. That's all you need to know.

-It's not only Gallifrey and its danger. The Doctor isn't safe to. Our church…well, let's just say it broke up in some aspects of how to handle the situation and some of us, they decided to act radically. But they don't understand. Killing the Doctor will cause more problems, it will damage the timelines beyond our repairing.

Rose laughed, she found this conversation so amusing, Tasha looked at her like she was insane.

-How can you find this funny?

-I'm sorry, your Holiness. It's just – Rose stopped laughing – you try to manipulate me through my feelings and knowledge you think I am not aware of. I already lived that. I know about Kovarian, I know about poor River Song, I know even what awaits you and I know that the Doctor is doomed anyway, whether Kovarian succeeds or not.

-Who are you? – asked Tasha, right now she felt fear, the kind of fear she could feel when talking to the Doctor.

-I am the Doctor's companion – Rose answered simply – It's just I am a bit more capable then other's.

-You are much more than that…And even knowing all those things, you won't stop it? Or you also know what will happen next?

-I have assumptions, yes. But the Doctor's life is full of paradoxes, adding to that the Crack and Timelords. Anything is possible. But it's not only about that, Tasha. Yes, I am helping the Doctor but not only because he is dear to me. Destroying Gallifrey is not an option, you've never been outside the Universe have you?

-No. Of course not, since Gallifrey was trapped, it became impossible.

-Impossible or not, but I've travelled through Universes, for a very long time and I was beyond the Universe. Gallifrey existed once, there are no other parallel Gallifreys or TimeLords, the balance of the whole of creation itself is in danger. Timelords are needed, they disappeared before their time. Time War raged and destroyed too many things, it complicated the Universes beyond our understanding and the Doctor, no matter how brilliant he is, is just not capable of fixing and watching everything. He tried and look where it brought him? He won't survive Trenazalore, we all know that, but Timelords are necessary here. They might be brought back in million years, but they have to come back. I don't like their race except for separate people, but they are necessary as every other living thing.

-You are talking like a Goddess, not like a companion. – Tasha noted.

-Same difference. There is no such thing as unimportant person or let alone unimportant race. If there is a way of saving them, than we have to try.

-I thought that you were trying to fix his guilt – Tasha said sincerely

-Why don't do both? The Doctor learned to live with the pain of destruction and I know that he would have done it again if there were no other choice – Rose sighed – But now, he has a chance to save his people from eternal Hell and to save himself, at least in the end. – she said bitterly.

-You won't help him? – Tasha asked in surprise – From what I understood you can do that.

-I can, but I won't. We all obey Time, even the Doctor. His end is near.

They stood in silence for sometime.

-I won't disturb you anymore as I promised, I understand why are you doing it, but I still have to think about others. We won't leave, but we won't stand in your way, I can promise you that.

-That is more than enough, thank you. – Rose smiled weakly.

-Funny thing, I expected to persuade you and instead you persuaded me – said Tasha with a smirk. – We tried to find some information on you, but I think you…let's say left no trails somehow.

-I have my ways. – Rose said

-We interrogated Captain Harkness about you, but he said nothing, I wonder how you made him to act like that.

-Made him? – Rose asked surprisingly – I didn't make him to do anything. He is just a good friend and he knows what to share and what not.

-You are too perfect for my liking, Rose Tyler. – Tasha said sarcastically. Rose's eyebrows went up. – Anyway, I need to get going. Say my regards to the Doctor. Farewell, Rose. Let the Gods help us.

-Goodbye, Tasha.

Tasha teleported back to her giant ship and Rose flew back home, to her Doctor.

-So how it went? – Doctor asked in the doorway. He was nervous, he knew it was stupid, that Rose were more than capable of protecting herself but he couldn't help it.

-Better than we expected, - Rose took off her coat and headed to their loveseat near the fireplace. – She promised not to disturb you anymore, she didn't know she was lying though.

-What? – the Doctor asked , he put his injured leg on cushions

-Tasha'll die soon – said Rose simply. – And she'll visit you when she'll become a puppet, Dalek's job, remember, just like in the Asylum.

-Are you OK telling me that? Isn't that dangerous? – the Doctor asked silently

-Nah, it's fine. – Rose said while curling comfortably next to him- You would have realized the minute you saw her, the Daleks' job is rough, anyone with your experience would understand that she is controlled.

-Can I save her?

-You certainly can try and you might even succeed, but she won't be herself completely.

-We'll see. I assume she'll come when you… well –the Doctor closed his eyes, Rose looked him.

-Doctor, we agreed not to think about it.

-Yes, I know, sorry. I just already miss you – he smiled and kissed her forehead, Rose closed her eyes.

-I love you, Doctor.

-Rose Tyler, I love you too.


	15. Mysteries of Death

(All rights and stories about Death belongs to Expanded Universe of Doctor Who and Classic Series, I just altered them a bit for my story)

* * *

Rose was flying, she could feel time passing by and she could feel the power of the vortex that cocooned her, she opened her eyes and was scared for a second, she was with the Doctor a minute ago, now she was on some astral plain, she was here once when she became the Bad Wolf, she recognized this place between the worlds. It was just there, it didn't weight anything, had no light, no darkness, no time, nothing, it was just there and there was creatures who held the immense powers of the Universe and she didn't like it, she knew why they called her, but she is Time, she can do whatever the hell she wants and it's none of their business.

She actually liked this gang, when she first came into power they met her with respect and honor, just like she did for them, they were all entwined by the powers they were given and duties they shared. But right now she wanted o kick their butts.

She could see many creatures here: White and Black Guardians better known as Good and Evil, Destiny, Life and Death. White and Black Guardians looked like two gentlemen in their 50th, they were wearing simple office suits, except Good was wearing a white costume and Evil a black one, Destiny looked like a she was 10 years old, she had curly red hair and very light eyes, Life and Death were twin sisters, or brothers, they didn't have a gender as such. They all were once mortals but by the Universe they were assigned their new identities, but none of them used to be humans, except for Rose.

-Why am I here? - she asked – Not that I am not happy to see you…well, I'm lying. I am most defiantly not happy to see you. What do you want?

-You know perfectly well why, Bad Wolf – said Destiny, her almost transparent eyes scanned Rose– You stayed in mortals' world for way too long and all because of your Timelord.

-So? I am Time, I exist everywhere, I am already dead basically, like you guys, I can have a bit of fun.

-We are not here for fun! – growled Evil – We are here to fulfill our duties! We were given our powers…

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we could help the Universe until the end of days. – Rose rolled her eyes-I know that, thanks.

-Than why you behave like a mortal? Your human emotions distract you! You had your life with him, it's time to let go. – said White Guardian

-I can't – Rose said quietly - I promised I'll stay for ten more years and then be gone. For good.

-Are you sure? Are you sure that you'll be able to leave him? – asked Life – You love him, we all knew love but we sacrificed it for the Universe, you on the other hand still attached.

-It's not like I am messing with human – said Rose firmly – He is a TIME lord, the answer in his name, plus he was partly the reason I became this. I didn't just stay with him, I helped to save Gallifrey and now…this is my reward.

-We all took part in saving Gallifrey – said Death carefully

Rose closed her eyes, she knew that they had their reasons, but she had hers, she did so many things…and now she wanted to feel happiness just for awhile.

-My friends, I know that you concerned, but I promise that I won't stay or change anything, I'll leave him and mortals' world forever when the time comes. I already fulfilled all my duties and I deserve peace before I disappear forever.

Life and Death smirked.

-Like that ever gonna happen – they said together.

-I trust the Bad Wolf – Destiny stood up for Rose– We promised to be truthful with each other and I see no lies in her words.

-Yeah, but that's not what we meant, - said Life – You see, you all guys have your secrets, we have ours.

-What do you mean? – asked Destiny

-You'll see when you die – grinned Death

-Oh, come on! Are you really implying there is life after death? Seriously? To us? We are sort of have the immense knowledge of the worlds and I personally never met any implications of the afterlife – said Evil

-That's because you weren't looking hard enough – said Life – I am not saying anything, or _imply_ anything, let's just say we don't get how the Bad Wolf can bend time the way she wants and you have no clue about death and re-birth, the real ones, I mean. We all can restore life if we won't while they are still in the Universe.

-I have no idea what are you talking about – said Rose, she felt her head started to hurt a bit. Too much information – But I kind of figured that there is something after we die.

-Sure you did! –said Death smiling – You are Time, you saw and felt re-birth so many times that this thought had to come into your blonde head. But we won't say anything more, professional secrets and all.

-Blonde jokes from Death, seriously? – asked Rose with a smile, Death chuckled. – OK, can we get back? I promise, I'll leave Trenzalore and he won't see me again. And I won't reveal myself to anyone again, all my adventures are over and I'll be stuck with you guys.

-Good to hear, although you won't, because we won't – said Life – As soon as you finish your business, we are all gonna have a bit of vacations until the new Universe will take place. I actually hope that someone else will take our duties next time.

-What do you mean? – asked Destiny in her very unchild voice.

-Well, we already did everything, right? – said Death - We witnessed the birth and death of this Universe, we fixed everything we had to, we killed everything we had to and brought to life, you Destiny created all possible ways for every possible creature, you Time did your job. What I mean, we exist for too long and we don't exist at all at the same time. We all finished our mortal business, except for you, Bad Wolf, and we can now move on. We already revealed ourselves in every possible and necessary points in time and space from the beginning to the end. And now, we can rest.

-You mean like we are going to a Paradise? – asked Evil sarcastically, his black eyes were shining with amusement

-Ha-ha, - laughed Death – Of course not, but you'll see. Bad Wolf, we'll be waiting for you here. After all what 10 years for us? A glimpse. Good luck with your Timelord, we all had troubles with him.

-Yep, I remember when I tried to persuade him to find the Key of Time, seriously he was so stubborn – said White Guardian

-I tried to kill him, but everything was just against me - sighed the Black one – I suppose you Time and Destiny were responsible for that.

-Yeah, he is a troublesome. – was all Rose said, she didn't want to go into that old story - See you all in a glimpse.

With that Rose felt herself at home, she find herself where she left, in her bedroom. The Doctor must have woken up awhile ago; his bedside was empty and cold, Rose got up and went down the stairs. The house was empty. OK, that's weird, the Doctor wouldn't go somewhere without telling her, maybe someone attacked while she was asleep?

She changed into jeans and hoodie and went outside, she heard as someone was building something on the backyard, thanks God, that's mean that the Doctor decided to play with his tools. Rose smiled to herself, she really did behave like a human.

-Doctor, you know for a second I though you went off fighting aliens without me, I wouldn't want miss the fun, you know that, right?

The Doctor glanced her and dropped his tools, he looked at her with huge eyes and open mouth unable to say a word. He just stared at her, his whole body was tensed and he was trembling.

-Doctor – said Rose tenderly – Is everything all right? Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't sleep for that long, did I?

In three big steps, the Doctor crossed the backyard and embraced Rose, she returned the hug and then she felt the Doctor was trembling with tears, ok, that was even scarier then she originally thought. What could possibly happen in 10 minutes while she was gone? Wait a minute, Rose inhaled deeply, it wasn't 10 minutes!

-I thought you left me – said Doctor harshly – Rose, why would you do that to me? Without a warning or goodbye! Where were you?

-Doctor, - she freed herself and looked at him – How long was I gone?

-Two weeks.

-WHAT?! – damn Eternals, Rose thought – Doctor, listen to me – she took his hands – I am sorry I was gone for that long and you had to think terrible things but I was summoned somewhere, I swear I was sure I came back the minute I was gone.

-Summoned, what do you mean summoned? – The Doctor was angry, Rose's disappearance broke him, she was supposed to stay with him for 9 more years and he wanted answers. – Rose, tell me what's going on, please, I need to know.

-Come on – she grabbed his hand and they appeared in their room, they settled on their unmade bed. Rose knew that the Doctor was furious, she would be too, but it's not like it was her fault! It's hard to jump from one plain to another! Good thing she came back in two weeks, not two centuries.

-Doctor, I was summoned by Eternals – as always, Rose didn't like all the pre-talks and decided to get to the point.

The Doctor felt as if he were dragged into the frozen water. This wasn't good, that was beyond any good! He met Eternals a few times and he still thanks every atom in the world that he survived those meetings, he didn't like to think of them, but then he looked at Rose's golden eyes and figured that perhaps she was an Eternal herself now, he should have figured that.

-Are you Eternal too? – he asked

-Of course I am, I thought it was obvious – she shrugged

-I didn't like them and I do like you, so I didn't want to build a parallel, but now that you've mentioned them…What did they want?

Somehow, he knew that it has something to do with him and her being here. She shouldn't be here, in mortals' world as she said, she stayed here because of him and got in trouble for that.

-They wanted to be sure that I'll leave you when the time comes – she said quietly

-Oh…

-They were concerned, that I'll…well that I'll break the rules and stay here with you until the end.

The Doctor frowned a bit

-Did they have any reason for that? As far as I know, you always left me when you had to.

-Yeah, but this time is different, I forget sometimes with you that I am not a human anymore – she looked in the window – I guess they decided that I need to be reminded.

-You were thinking of staying? – he asked in a bit shaky voice.

-The thought crossed my mind once or twice. – she closed her eyes - I am sorry, Doctor, but even when this thought beams into my head, in the end I still know that I can't stay and I told them that.

The Doctor leaned the back of his head to the wall. He knew that Rose wasn't his companion anymore that she just stayed here because of her kindness and love for him, but he also managed to fool himself sometimes, that perhaps she'll stay here with him and now the reality broke into their little world. They had 9 years 10 months together, approximately. And then she'll be gone and he won't see her ever again. Rose could see his grim thoughts, she squeezed his hand and he looked at her with his ageless eyes, he looked like a Timelord now, powerful and old, he smiled weakly at her and she curled up against him. They didn't talk for a long time, they didn't need to. They just needed each other. Slowly they drifted off to sleep.

Rose woke up after couple of hours; she didn't need to sleep since technically she was awake for 3 hours at most. The Doctor on the other hand didn't sleep well for weeks and needed his rest, she decided to eat something and got down to the kitchen, she found a few sandwiches and made herself a glass of warm milk. She looked into the window, she was so tired of Trenzalore's eternal snow, how she wished to go somewhere sunny and flowery, she couldn't imagine living here for centuries as the Doctor suppose to do. She hoped that these years they spend together will ease his life here.

-For a minute I thought you were gone again – the Doctor said from behind, he was wearing nothing but his pajamas bottoms.

-Nah, I just wanted a snack - she smiled - Wanna join me?

-Sure – he limped to the table – Warm milk and sandwiches at 3 in the morning? I feel like I am 12 again.

-You didn't do such thing when you were 12 – said Rose

-Oi! We can at least pretend that I had a normal, happy childhood!

-Sorry, love – she smiled- your rules on Gallifrey still give me shivers.

-No kidding – he said while chewing a sandwich – You, RoseTyler, would have escaped that place too. Anyway, I wanted to ask something, just out of curiosity. When you were summoned – he added carefully – Where exactly were you? It's not like you have a supernatural round table for Eternals, do you?

-Well of course not, Doctor – Rose laughed – You know, your curiosity will bring you no good.

-Oh, come on, Rose Tyler, I am already dying, your secrets are safe with me. – Rose rolled her eyes.

-Well, we were in some astral plain, sort of, it exists beyond time and space and it can contain all our powers. By the way Black and White Guardians said "hi."

-What? You know these two old guys? – he frowned - You have waaay too many powerful and dangerous friends.

-Oi, I am one of them! And actually I talked to Death and she said something weird.

-You talked to Death – he said with a mock expression - How can anything be not weird?

-Why are you so surprised? – Rose asked – You've met the Eternals, you even talked to Death, why can't I, considering that I am Time?

-I never spoke to Death, Rose. I think I would have remembered something like that – he said flatly. This conversation was insane even by his standards.

-Hmm…-Rose said thoughtfully – Maybe you wouldn't, perhaps she erased your memories after you did the job – she sipped her milk, the Doctor was looking at her with open mouth – What?

-You are saying I met Death and _she _erased my memories of that. – the Doctor shifted uncomfortably

-Maybe, this is not my domain and I am not allowed to intervene in others' business. But we rarely reveal ourselves to the mortals and usually erase their memories of us.

-Did you ever erase memories?

-A couple of times, yeah. I remember I talked once to this Emperor of Green Valley, you know in the Union System, he proclaimed their lost Goddess and tried to marry me so we could create the most powerful heir in the world – Rose laughed- Poor lad, I guess I erased too much of his memories.

-Well, I can't really blame him – the Doctor said in a seductive voice, he leaned closer to her and captured Rose's lips – After all you are the Bad Wolf – Rose smiled – Even when we travelled, you were proposed, what? 6 times? And I remember you got married once, to that ancient guy – he trailed down his kisses to her neck and then kissed gently between her breasts – But you've always been mine.

Rose didn't really hear what he was saying she just enjoyed the feeling. The Doctor took of her hoodie and snogged her thoroughly, he decided to take the lead and she didn't mind one bit, he was really good at that.


	16. The Journey Ends

The story ends here ^_^ Thanks to everyone who stuck with me to the very end. I hope you will enjoy the last chapter. This chapter was inspired by my own beliefs and this video in VK : /video-66354697_167967847

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He noticed her right now, she looked just like he remembered long, bright red hair, slender figure and sparkling eyes. He was so happy to see his precious Amy, glorious Pond. These centuries were hell, after Rose was gone he saw no light in his life, people of the village tried to cheer him up but they couldn't fill the void left by…well, by everything, by his friends, his companions, his love, his adventures. Well, at least Clara visited him once and now she was here, his impossible girl. But at this moment, seeing Amy, the memory of happy times flowed through him, he felt truly happy. He was relieved that he was dying frankly speaking. He was so tired, exhausted from constant battles, constant loneliness. He just wanted to be free, even from life, he was glad that someone else will take his place and actually be him, he knew that this knew Doctor will gain his memories, at least partly, but this time it won't be him. It will be hard for him and he even called Clara into the future, he'll need her very much. It's hard to come into life with someone else's memories. The Doctor mildly wondered if this new Doctor will realize that he is brand new, despite the memories. He would be someone very different in all possible ways, _his _lives were over now and _he _welcomed death.

He saw as Amy got down, her golden ring was shining in the lights of the TARDIS and he smiled of the memory of Rory, Amelia touched his face and he couldn't help but smile at her, his dear friend. Somehow he knew it was the last gift from Rose, because only she knew what he really needs right now.

-Raggedy Man, - the Doctor's hearts almost burst with joy when he heard his old nickname. – Goodnight.

Goodnight, my Amelia. The Doctor felt like the other creature was overtaking his body, the Timelords were tired of him, he thought, they decided to send someone else, everything Rose said came true. In the back of his head the Doctor heard Clara's voice and then everything went dark.

The Doctor felt something, that was weird, wasn't he dead? And then he felt as his, what, body? No, not body, his _something _was flying somewhere with the speed of light, he felt like he was dragged through some tube that wasn't there, it was like all of his essence was pulled through, it wasn't painful, just uncomfortable. What the hell is going on? I wanted peace, not some new adventure, I strongly protest whatever it is!..

Finally, the Doctor felt himself somewhere. It was something, it wasn't cold or hot, it was flat he knew that much, he tried to open his eyes, slowly he did that. OK, he can see…something; it felt like was in endless white room. Was he drugged and dragged into the Mad House? It was possible, hey wait a minute, he was most defiantly dying! The Doctor felt cold…is it an afterlife? Oh, God, if it is he must be defiantly in the never ending hell! Alone and trapped and…

-Seriously, love, stop thinking that much you are allowed to take a break, after all you are dead. – he recognized this honey-sweet voice. Wherever he was, some kind of Rose's image was there, if it were hell she is here to torture him for sure. He was afraid to turn his head, because he knew that he would see something terrible, wherever he was.

-You were right, Rose – he heard River's voice – His head is too thick to except the truth.

-Well, he is too smart to gasp the pagan idea of afterlife – said Sarah Jane's voice.

-Oi, Spaceman! Turn that thick head of yours! – he heard Donna's commanding tone.

-I think he is in shock, can the dead come into shock? – asked Brigadier's deep voice.

-Well, when I came here first, Rory needed a lot of time...or whatever is here, to drag me further and considering that this is the Doctor – he heard Amelia's voice and slowly turned around.

He met dozens of beaming faces. He felt that his head is about to burst into flames. A big group of people was watching with amusement and love, these were all his friends he gathered during the years! Well, not all of them, but most! He could see Peri Brown healthy and beautiful as ever, Jamie McCrimmon was wearing his Scottish kilt, he looked young, just as he remembered him. Ian and Barbara was smiling at him, they hold hands; Jo Grant, Liz Shaw and Sarah Jane was standing next to each other, he could see Brigadier and Donna were grinning identically to him, Ace and Adric was almost laughing at his shocked face, Charley and Martha were poking at him good-naturally . He could see River who smiled at him with warmth, but without her madness, her features became gentle and calm. He saw Amelia Pond looking at him with a challenge he got used to during their travels and in the center of that he saw Rose, her eyes were shining, but not with golden power, but with love and joy.

-But…-the Doctor uttered –What?! – he heard his voice and realized he was talking like his Tenth self. He grabbed his hair and face and felt that, yep, he had the appearance of his previous incarnation.

-That is soooo amusing! – exclaimed Donna –Hey, skinny boy! Where did your gob gone? I remember you wouldn't shut up even when we were about to execute!

-I do think he is in shock – said Liz calmly – Rose, your surprise is a bit too much for him.

-Doctor, - Rose approached slowly to him. – Doctor, it's OK, I know it's hard to gasp but everything you see and feel is real.

-What are you? – he asked. He didn't know what was going on but he didn't like that whoever it was, he used his friends

-Doctor, - Amy started – Raggedy man, it's really us and you are really dead and this – she looked around – well, this is afterlife, sort of.

-It's a between, - Charley continued – When you are ready you'll move on. We've been waiting for you.

-Waiting…what? Do you think I am that stupid? There is no such thing as afterlife! Reveal yourself!

-That will take awhile – said Ian, from nowhere a dozen of sofas appeared and part of the group settled themselves comfortably looking at him like he was an amusing show.

Donna, Rose, River, Amy, Brigadier and Sarah Jane remained where they were, Rose tried to approach him again, like he was a scared animal.

-Doctor, listen to me – she started – It's all real, you really were on Trenzalore, you really just saw Amy – Amy waved at him – And you really just died.

-If I am dead and this – he gestured emphatically – real, where is my family? Where is Susan?

-They can't be here, Doctor – answered River – All of the Timelords are still trapped, you are the first one of your kind who got here. All, Rassilon, Susan, Romana even the Master they are still technically alive. Same rules apply to Clara and Jack for example, their stories didn't end with yours, some of your companions already moved on way too further, so here we are. This all is really hard for time-travelers. Plus the more complicated the species, the harder is to get here.

-OK, let's assume that's true – the Doctor's mind was boiling, he was talking to them, TO ALL OF THEM in one place and they were trying to persuade him that this was some kind of limbo. – How can you all be here, all at once! You all died in different time, some of you on different planets and you – he pointed at Rose – Died in another Universe!

-Doctor, - Rose started – It doesn't work like that here, when we met you, we already been dead for you, remember as Clara said? We were ghosts of the past. And me, well, my home Universe is here. I died and then was pulled back, here we all was waiting for you, I am sorry you can't meet your Timelord family, but I hoped that your Earth/companions family would be enough.

The Doctor looked at all of them, whoever they were, they believed in their words. But it didn't prove anything; he met a lot of things who did terrible things just because they believed in something.

-Why do I look like that? Why not the body I died in? – he asked harshly, he was talking to Rose now. He loved all his companions but she, well if it's an afterlife her presence would be enough to feel like in Heaven.

Rose smiled a bit, she could feel that he wasn't hostile anymore, at least not as much. When she first got here, she was terrified too, good thing her mother and her father, real one, was here to meet her.

-You don't have a body here, Doctor. You just look like you got used too, the same thing with us. You could look like a ginger girl…

-Oi! – Donna and Amy exclaimed playfully.

-Or anything you like, mostly people look like they remember themselves, especially at first. You, well you are a weirdo – at that everyone laughed – As a Timelord you have, sort of 13 souls, unlike us. You have one big spirit. Remember the Avatar cartoon? It's like that a bit. Every regeneration triggers the birth of new soul and consciousness while the others are dormant while you are alive. When they are over, _you _die. Your body can be used for another Timelord, but you, this you, is dead.

-That's….well, that's impossible, like everything else! – he exclaimed, now he felt like his head was hitting by bus, constantly. – You still didn't answer my question.

-I am trying, Doctor – said Rose patiently – A normal Timelord would be here with his latest appearance, but you, well you went further, you gone through metacrisis and separated one of your souls into separate, human body. He lived his short lifespan and than he was trapped, as he couldn't move on without other 12. Remember when I showed you the memories of our life together on Pete's world? – the Doctor nodded – You said that it felt like I returned part of your soul. When I became the Bad Wolf I was given that part of you so I could pass it to you when the time is right. Otherwise you'd be trapped here forever.

-You remember our dates when you were a Bad Wolf? – this whole situation was insanely ridiculous, impossible and mad! But still, something made sense and he felt hope…

-Of course I do. I lived it, Doctor. – Rose was standing really close to him, he could see every freckle on her beautiful face – You look like that, because now, all of your memories in order, because you lived two lives in similar bodies and they summarized like this. Look in yourself, you will remember everything about Pete's world from your point of view and then you can say a proper "Hello" to everyone.

The Doctor swallowed and closed his eyes. His non-existing hearts pounded with excitement and fear that all this is a trick. Because if Rose is right, he will be able to recall their lives and he'll have to accept that all this is real, because no one could have those memories except for his human self. The Doctor gasped. He could see it, he could actually see and feel everything, from the moment he woke up in the console room in from of astonished Donna to his last breath in the bed he and Rose shared in Pete's world. He could see every fight, every happy moment, he could see their daughter, he could see little Jack and the TARDIS growth. He felt…he didn't even know what he felt. He opened his eyes.

-Rose?..- he whispered hesitantly, she beamed at him with all she was worth, everybody was smiling some of them cheering. Adric and Peri cried : Hurray! And he couldn't control himself anymore, he grabbed Rose into hug than got Amy and Sarah Jane and eventually it transformed into one giant group hug, everyone was crying and laughing at the same time. The Doctor realized how ridiculous and cheesy they must look, but he didn't care. He felt so, so happy, so light. And then he found Rose again and kissed her deeply, it felt so real, whatever they said about "not-really-bodies". Everyone shushed, they kissed and kissed and kissed. Than River couldn't take it anymore.

-Hey, you two! Get a room! Seriously can we transport to the afterlife before you two start…

-Shagging – added the very tactful Donna Noble.

Rose and the Doctor broke apart, than something hit the Doctor, he never promised anything to Sarah Jane or Charley, but…

-River, I am so sorry. I…

-No, it's fine, Doctor – at his expression she laughed – I am serious, the moment I got here I realized how screwed up our relationship was. I mean it was fun and exciting, but we never loved each other, as soon as I was free from my brainwash I realized that. You two on the other hand…Well, you have my blessing – she winked in the very River manner – In the next life I'll find someone available and not crazy.

-You two – added Amy with a smile– are so sweet that it's a bit revolting.

The Doctor smiled genuinely, it was all too good to be true, he loved them all and he was touched that they met him here, he still couldn't believe that he got into the good place, he always believed that if there is something after death he is destined…well for less pleasant.

-So, what's next? – he asked – Is there a paradise? Hell? Something else? – he couldn't wait to find out.

-Something else, Doctor. You'll see, - Rose smiled – The afterlife is not scary, there is no hell, no heaven, just afterlife, everyone will get there eventually – she said mysteriously, than she took his hand. He could see as all his former companions disappearing slowly, they were all smiling at him, everything was in fog, all he could feel Rose's hand. – Close your eyes, Doctor and let go.

He obeyed, Rose's other hand covered his eyes, he felt as he was carried by a light, warm wind.

-Open your eyes, love. – said Rose – Welcome to your new home.

He opened his eyes and smiled widely. No words can describe the beauty of this place, it was unending, he could see the horizon of the bluest sea ever seen, the trees and flowers were huge and so, so different, like someone gathered his every favorite scenery and put it here, but he could also see some unfamiliar things.

-That is mine – said Rose, they started to walk to a small mansion. – I saw it once a long time ago and it became my dream house.

-So, this place recreated our favorite places?

-Sort of, yeah. But everything about this place is in constant change. Here, the thought can do everything. – she stopped and looked at him seriously. – I can stay here, with you, if you want. Or you can live here on your own.

-Why would I want that? – he asked in surprise. She had to be joking, the unknown world, no death, Rose here with him! How can she even ask?

-Well, you know. It's a brand knew world for you, it's never-ending and changes every minute, there is an immense knowledge here, everything you can find about the Universe, you can visit every friend you ever had, every person you ever wanted to meet and…

-I most defiantly want to share everything with you. We even can make a visit to your mother – she smiled at this - Rose, - he put her hand on his chest. – We've been through so, so much. And now, when we can have really have a happily ever after you think I can let go of it?

-I just thought…Well, you know we will stay here until the new big bang! It will be plenty of time and…

-You think you will get tired of me? – the Doctor said jokingly – I love you, Rose. Always have and always will. And I want us to share this – he looked around – if you want to.

Rose didn't say anything she just kissed him lightly. They looked at the landscape in front of them, content and happy, holding hands. The Doctor was wearing his blue suit and Rose was wearing a simple white dress, they were watching as giant birds crossed the colorful sky. And like all those centuries ago, in their fragile mortals' lives the Doctor looked at Rose and asked her:

-How long are you going to stay with me?

She turned her head and smiled, right now she can answer him without the fear:

-Forever.

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Author's Note: Thank you again, for everyone who shared this journey with me^_^ I wanted to make this kind of the story for a very long time and finally I did it. I know that's this ending is a bit too cheesy and lovey-dovey, but I wanted the Doctor and Rose to be together so badly, at least in death. Thanks again for your time. ;)


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